Sex Stories We Love: Sexless Marriages, Unsafe Sex Positions, and Wild Animal Sex Gone Wrong

Sex Toys of the Real Life Christian Greys

I think we can all assume if Christian Grey was real that he wouldn’t have an arsenal of implements approved by E.L. James in his Red Room of Pain. So, what sex toys do the kinkiest of the 1% have at their disposal? How about a crystal handle leather whip ($290) or a sterling silver and cherry wood spanking rod ($3,066). Looking for something even more obscenely expensive in gold, platinum, or diamonds? Ninja News found some of those things, too.

Male Asian Porn Stars Exist

So "male Asian porn star" isn’t one of the biggest popular search terms on the Internet. Maybe you think that there aren’t any huge offerings onscreen. Jokes aside, Jeremy Long is tired of the short shrift that Asian guys get for their supposed shortcomings. He shoots videos for a niche porn site, AsianSchlong.com, which features Asian men with non-Asian women.

"For years Asian-American porn has always meant Asian women with white (or other non-Asian) men," Long told Amped Asia. "So what we’re doing is basically flipping the script on that and producing the exact opposite type of content."

Long also weighed in on his take on Asian small penis stereotypes in the article. "Haha, well I think there’s only one way to deal with that — women out there need to sleep with as many Asian men as possible and investigate for themselves."

Unsafe Sex Positions

Think beyond using condoms and dental dams the next time you practice safer sex. A study of three emergency units in Campinas, Brazil found that woman on top, the Cowgirl, was responsible for the most cases of penile fractures over a 13 year period. Doctors that conducted the research said, "Our hypothesis is that when the woman is on top she usually controls the movement with her entire body weight landing on the erect penis...not being able to interrupt [the motion] when the penis suffers a wrong way penetration." Times Live has the rundown on the research.

Tinder on Fire

Even if you don’t do the mobile app dating or hookup thing, they’re always good for a laugh (especially when people do it wrong). The examples of bad Tinder photos that Broke Ass Stuart found weren’t terribly funny, but his smartass comments are totally amazing. So is his story about how he sent his Tinder profile to the 1,500 people in his speed dial - friends, family members, old girlfriends, and a girl he had dated for a while. Her reply was perfect: "Stuart, you already banged me." At least this guy can laugh at himself, too.

Wild Animal Sex Gone Wrong

Tusks aren’t the only thing horny on elephants. In the case of one that couldn’t find a suitable partner in Khao Yai National Park in Thailand, he decided to go after the first available alternative, a car traveling down the road. The attempt didn’t go off well. The elephant wound up smashing the car. Even more amazing was that the passengers inside the car made a video of the wild animal sex romp gone wrong and they were not injured. Check out Elite Daily for more of the story and the videos.

One Step Beyond

There’s nothing wrong with foot fetishes, but is putting a male masturbator sleeve into a life-like disembodied foot taking things a bit too far? Even for a tabloid like Metro If only Jeffrey Dahmer were still around to weigh in.