A Pillow For Your PE, Sir?

Statistics state that between 30 to 40 percent of American men experience premature ejaculation or PE. The Coach, company has come up with a tongue-in-cheek idea to help men overcome this most common of all male sexual dysfunction.

In what the company calls a “reverse sex aid” the new aid is said to help slow down and prevent premature ejaculation by shifting a man’s focus off his impending, all-too-soon eruption. Presenting something woefully “less arousing,” as the press for the aid says, Coach has created a pillowcase with the cartoon likeness of Donald Trump and Joe Biden embracing on one side, with “Pace Your Race-with Biden-Trump Campaign Pledges” printed in the upper left corner and below the cartoon “Hold The Polls to Extend Your Term.” The reverse side of the pillow has smaller cartoons of the men to the side of their stated policies on subjects such as federal procurement reform zoning regulations, and technical standards.

Whether a Kamala Harris vs Donald Trump version is on the way, is yet to be seen.

Just one of three

The Trump-Biden pillowcase is just one of three “reverse sex-aid” pillowcases that The Coach is launching at once. 

Another features  baseball stats (an oft-used mind distractor for men who shoot too early). On one side of this case is printed “The Long Game: Baseball Stats to Keep You Longer at Bat” on the reverse “Slow Your Game to Extend Your Innings, With Obscure Baseball Trivia.” 

The third pillowcase bears the headline, “And Now for Something Completely Different: Switch your focus to slow your roll.” On its reverse side, a Periodic table is listed, as a variety of “Distractions to Aid Delay: Try thinking instead about one of the below.” 

The PE truth

As the causes of premature ejaculation range across a spectrum of possibilities, so do the treatments for it. Physiological prompters such as genetic predisposition, acute penile sensitivity, and even prostatitis, have been studied as well as psychological factors such as sexual performance anxiety, and relationship problems  

Falling into four subtypes, there is lifelong, acquired, variable, and subjective PE.

Treatment for PE includes some medicines, men taught to engage in regular Kegel exercises as well as a refinement from the Masters and Johnson’s  “squeeze technique,” where a man squeezes his penis just before he ejaculates. The simpler (and by many reports more effective) "stop-start" technique, has generally taken the place of the earlier M&J, where a couple simply stops moving during intercourse and remains still until the male’s feeling of impending ejaculation subsides.

There are also some devices said to aid with helping men ‘train’ their penises to stave off quick shooting, topical anesthetics numbing agents that can be applied to the penis, and also surgery. This last though, with two different types of surgeries developed in South Korea, is not recommended by The International Society for Sexual Medicine.

Making light of a serious problem of sexual well-being doesn’t lessen the severity of the problem of course. But if there were ever a time some levity was needed into the American political circus it surely is now.