Online dating encompasses a variety of services designed to help people connect with potential partners. These platforms cater to diverse needs and preferences, such as sexual orientation, relationship style, sexual interests, religious identity, and desired outcomes — from long-term committed relationships to casual encounters. For example, some sites specifically target LGBTQ+ users, non-monogamous daters, or those with shared religious beliefs, while others focus on matching marriage-minded individuals or facilitating hookups.
“Online dating can also play an important role in accessibility and inclusivity." says August McLaughlin, author, sex educator and Girl Boner Radio host/producer "In some geographical areas and communities, for example, LGBTQIA+ or kinky folks would have little access to the dating pool without online options — not because those places are devoid of queer or kinky people (I doubt anywhere is), but because of shame or needing to be hidden.”
There are different forms of online dating ranging from matchmaking services to sites that function more like social media platforms where users peruse each other's profiles and interact freely. Monetization models also vary. Some sites are free and ad-supported, others use a freemium approach with optional paid upgrades, and some rely solely on membership subscriptions.
History of Online Dating
Online dating has a surprisingly long history stretching back to 1959 when, as part of a class project at Stanford, Jim Harvey and Phil Fialer matched 49 men with 49 women via a questionnaire and an IBM 650. They dubbed their project the "Happy Families Planning Service."
Even before computers came into the picture, singles would use things like newspaper personal ads to seek out strangers who might become their future mates. Over the years different technological advances gave rise to different versions of this idea including telephone, mail order, and video based dating services. The birth of the internet allowed people to connect with each other from their homes leading to the modern version of online dating that allowed love seekers to peruse the profiles of prospective mates.
In the 2000s, the popularity of smartphones and their associated applications or “apps” saw many online dating services like OKCupid, Match.com, and JDate launch apps to work alongside their websites. Additionally, there was a huge upswing in entirely app-based services like Grindr, which employs cell phone GPS technology to tell users how close potential dates might be, and Tinder, which uses a “swipe right/swipe left” interface to allow users to quickly accept or reject potential matches. Dating apps expanded on the online dating premise, making the entire process faster and easier than ever.
As of 2017, dating apps and online dating platforms were the most common means by which couples in the United States reported initially meeting. It's predicted that 70% of couples will meet online by 2040.
How Online Dating Works
Most online dating services allow users to create profiles by providing personal information such as age, gender, sexual orientation, and location. Many services encourage users to add photos or videos to their profiles. Users can then view other members' profiles and decide whether to initiate contact, typically through digital messaging. Some services offer additional features like webcasts, chat, and message boards. Users can keep their interactions online or arrange in-person dates.
“I often hear people dismiss online dating as totally toxic.” says McLaughlin “While using dating apps can negatively impact our mental health or safety, depending on factors like how we use them and our emotional state, they're digital tools with potential pros and cons. Plenty of people have positive experiences with online dating. If the online dating scene starts to feel like too much, either take a break or reframe online dating as only one potential avenue to connect with potential partners. Mix and mingle at social events that suit your interests, too, for example, whether in-person or virtually.”
McLaughlin also has some words of wisdom for getting the most out of your dating app experience:
“In our heavily curated digital world, being yourself is refreshing and helpful from an online dating standpoint. Use photos you feel good about and that look like you. And be just as truthful with your bio information and wants. If you're not sure if your profile fully fits you (it can be hard to write about ourselves!), have a close friend review it.”
