A Look Into the World of Online BDSM Roleplay

"Get down on your knees, slave."

"Yes, sir." *kneels in front of you wearing my "pet" collar and ears. I wag my butt plug tail happily.*

"Good pet. Do you know what happens to good pets? They get rewards. Rewards that are perfect to suck on." *unzips my pants to reveal a bulge outlined under my tight underwear*

Welcome to the world of online BDSM roleplay. Held completely online in a virtual space, online BDSM roleplay lets two (or more!) participants explore their fantasies with others - without any in-person component.

What IS Online BDSM Roleplay?

Have you ever written a dirty story? Maybe you've never written one down - but you've spent some time with a fantasy inside of your head. If you're unfamiliar with online BDSM roleplay, think of it as a dirty story - only two (or more) people craft it together, taking turns, instead of one person writing the entire thing.

Unlike writing your own dirty story, there's a feeling of anticipation - and unexpected factors. While you make up all of the dialogue and activities in your own, solo erotica, online BDSM roleplay has a new factor: a completely separate person.

In your own head, when the Dominant says "Sit down, my pet", the pet will respond "Yes, sir" - and quietly sit.

When you toss another person into the equation, you don't really know how they'll respond - and just like in real-life sexual encounters, that's part of the appeal. Will the person happily agree to sit down? Will the person choose to sit on the floor - or will they saunter up to Dominant and sit on their lap instead? Will the pet's personality be bratty - and they sit - but only on the technicality of the command?

When someone else is helping you craft the story, there's a level of unexpected action - which can be extremely, extremely erotic. When done correctly, this can elevate your own erotic story well-beyond your own expectations. Infusing two people's creativity can really make for a dynamic experience!

Online BDSM Roleplay has been going on for decades now. What do you think some of the old IRC chatrooms were full of?

About twenty years ago, those same kinky roleplayers moved onto dedicated forums, instant messaging, and email list groups. (I'm showing my age here even knowing what those things are!)

Nowadays, technology has drastically, drastically expanded the availability of online roleplay. Phone sex can turn into verbal roleplay where you're both talking about your actions in a shared universe. Cam-to-cam video calls can turn into a discussion about what the two (or more!) of you would do if you were in a room together while you pleasure yourselves. And of course, emails, chat rooms, and message boards still exist for text-based pleasure.

If you want to get more advanced, online sex games, like Yareel, can function as a visual platform to add another dimension to your online roleplay. Your avatars can do the roleplaying actions you're talking about. Adding a visual component to online play can really up the ante. Yareel even happens to be one of the few online sex games that is designed to work on mobile - and only requires an email address to keep your phone information private. So, you can be deep in your erotic sex game curled up on a lounger in the backyard - if you want!

This just shows the breadth of what options are available for online BDSM roleplay. This type of roleplay can be done anywhere at any time; it just requires an internet connection and another person - and a willingness to fantasize in a shared universe and share your thoughts.

Read: How to Expand Your Online Erotic Adventures

It's also worth noting that kinky roleplay dynamics between two people can go the same way that relationships go, too. Similar to meeting someone in a bar for a one night stand, some online roleplayers hang out in areas specifically created for "meet and play" - where one-time, kinky online roleplay is the expected outcome if you find someone you're into.

On the other hand, some people use online BDSM roleplay as a way to connect with their long-distance partner - or find that one of their online-only friendships might evolve into some online roleplay if both parties are interested.

How to Do Online BDSM Roleplay?

Actually "doing" online BDSM roleplay is just as simple as finding the right platform for you - and living out your fantasies. The exact "platform" may vary based on your interests, how much you want to share, and how visual you want to keep things.

For example, if you love the idea of creating a two-person erotica with someone, online erotic roleplay forums might be for you. You'll find people willing to write longer responses that can come together as a world-building, erotic activity for two.

If you prefer to act out those same things in a visual format, consider an online sex game like Yareel. You can make your avatar get into erotic scenarios with other avatars - and use the chat function simultaneously to really describe all of the in-depth fantasy thoughts that pop into your head. It mixes the best of visual play - with the best of text-based play.

Alternatively, you might be more of a short-line texter. You might find the idea of writing long paragraphs to be an absolute bore - and you'd rather fire off a few quick words and let your imagination fill in the blanks. If that's the case, erotic roleplay via texting might be for you. Partner your fast chatting style with a mobile-friendly sex game like Yareel to keep the action moving constantly - both visually and verbally.

Read: Sexting: A Guide to the Erotic Power of Words

Maybe the idea of writing out words makes you freeze up - or maybe you can't imagine roleplay without the sounds of arousal underlining someone's every word. You might be a good candidate for phone sex. Feel free to get creative with "spanking" sound effects, too.

Or maybe you want to mix things up by seeing the other person as the two of you describe your kinky erotic scenario. If that's the case, consider a cam-to-cam experience. Both of you turn on your cell phone (or computer) cameras to watch one another (usually while masturbating!) while you type or talk out your fantasies.

Don't forget: you can mix any of these options as well; it just depends on what you and your online BDSM roleplay partner consent to! If you both want to talk on the phone while simultaneously playing Yareel for a hot visual that goes along with your words, have at it.

If you want to start with expansive world-building paragraphs to begin - and swap over to fast, one-line responses as you both get closer to orgasm, try that too. Mix and match your styles to see what works best for both of you!

Most importantly, however, don't be afraid to set boundaries - and stick to them. I highly recommend setting those boundaries before you're aroused and before you find an online roleplay buddy. When you're high on arousal, it can be tempting to give out your phone number or agree to a cam session - even if you'll regret it all after the arousal fades. Set your own boundaries before you get involved - and stick to them mid-arousal.

If you find that you're tempted to move past your boundaries mid-arousal, there's always another orgasm; just wait to try that next level of exposure the next time you're playing with that person. This gives you time to think over your comfort level with a clear, unaroused head - to make sure this is actually something you're comfortable with. It's common for online BDSM roleplay buddies to be seeking a specific level of interaction; don't allow your interest in finding some roleplay push you past where you feel comfortable.

Why Do People Stay Online?

Today, out of all of the options, text-based and sex game roleplays reign supreme. I can't begin to tell you every single person's experience, but I can take a good guess at one of the primary reasons for online roleplay: online play requires revealing minimal personal information and has a relatively minimal risk.

Unlike a phone number (which requires your voice and phone number) or a video call (which requires your body and/or face), writing chat messages or using a virtual avatar has minimal risk - and minimal presentation of yourself. You can be unshowered after a gym session - no one will know! As long as you choose your platform well and ensure you understand what information is public/private on your chosen platform, you can stay relatively anonymous. Yareel, for example, only requires an email address to sign-up. You can keep your phone number private and still access their sex game.

Beyond privacy reasons, though, why do people choose to stay online - instead of moving into an in-person exchange? Well, let's talk about some of the common reasons:

Fantasy Exploration

Yareel game play lets you choose the items you want to play with

Online BDSM roleplay allow participants to explore their kinks (and sex, in general!) in a safe, minimal-risk world. Especially if you're playing an online sex game like Yareel, a minor curiosity about kink can blossom into a full interest in it as you continually experience new aspects of BDSM. And if you don't like it? No harm done. No one will ever really know, and you didn't expose yourself to any physical risk.

Anyone using online BDSM roleplay should be aware that real-life experiences and expectations don't always match up with online expectations. In addition, bringing kinks "to life" also comes with a wide variety of safety and skill concerns that aren't there in online spaces.

Read: From Pet Play to Fancy Feet: Selling Specialty Sex Online

Easy Group Sex

Even if you're already part of a happy twosome, turning that twosome into a threesome can be hard. In general, group sex, whether an orgy or threesome, can be difficult to organize. Not only is it difficult to find partners that are a good fit, but beyond that, getting multiple busy adults' schedules to match up can be difficult. Plus, who's cleaning their house and getting snacks for this orgy???

Taking that same experience online can be much easier. Not only is there a lot less physical risk (like STIs), but there's usually a pool full of happy, horny people who want to roleplay your group sex scenario - right now.

Pornography

Some people simply want to enjoy interactive "porn" in order to masturbate. For quite a few people, online BDSM roleplay is simply a way to DIY their own porn - and enjoy the erotic anticipation of wondering what your roleplay partner will do next.

People who use online BDSM roleplay for porn and masturbation purposes will likely hop from the most-active platform to the next, trying to find where the majority of people are currently looking for roleplay partners. People who are using roleplay for regular masturbation may also mix up their methods on a regular basis - depending on what type of interaction they're feeling and what's popular.

Disinterest in Dating or In-Person Sex

For some people, there's simply no interest in dating - or in-person sex. This might be due to a busy schedule - or due to a disability that makes it difficult (or impossible!) to leave the home. Whatever the reason, some people make a conscious choice to pursue online BDSM roleplays as one of their primary methods of sexual connection with others - and that works great for them.

Long-Distance Relationships

When you aren't physically near one another, online BDSM roleplay can be a great way to still feel some sexual intimacy - and pleasure. For those in constant long-distance relationships (or those who are temporarily apart - like during a business trip!) online BDSM roleplay can be a way to fill that sexual gap. Not only does it demonstrate that the two of you are making time for one another, but it can become a limitless space to explore new kinks and ideas - one that you can bring to life if you're in-person at some point!

Pick up your phone and play Yareel

Their Location or Situation is Hostile to Kink

Despite our attempts at Kinkly, sexuality and kink are still fringe topics - and not widely accepted by society. In fact, in some places, kink is still illegal. Depending on the place, however, it may not be illegal to explore kink online - or roleplay it online. Some people choose to live out their kink desires with the help of the internet when their local, physical space is otherwise inhospitable to kink.

This also includes people who are living in places where bringing kink partners inside of their residence may be met with hostility - whether that's family, group housing, or specific beliefs about sex.

Non-Monogamy

Within a committed relationship, sometimes one person expresses a need for kink - an interest that the other person doesn't share. In these cases, the couple may agree that exploring those desires online is a great solution. There's minimized risk of physical attachment, and the couple can see if this is a temporary desire - or a permanent one. (There's definitely the risk of emotional attachment that most people underestimate, however, especially in on-going online BDSM roleplays.)

However, other types of non-monogamy happen via online BDSM roleplay as well. It only takes a few minutes in most of these kinky chatrooms to find people intentionally playing outside of their real-life partnership commitments. Whether that's due to a stressful period in life, a partner who doesn't share their kinks, a need for new connections, or a sexless bedroom, quite a few people in online BDSM roleplay communities are otherwise in committed relationships in real-life.

Sound Great?

Well, you can try it yourself at any point! I'd say "all you need is an internet connection", but you could get into the spirit of online BDSM roleplay simply with a pen, paper, and your fantasies. Or go all-in and get an account with Yareel and see what the world of an online, virtual sex game can offer.

The world of online BDSM roleplay is pretty expansive, and you'll likely be able to find somewhere where you fit in perfectly.