Sometimes, it’s possible to have too much of a good thing. And yes, this even applies to intimate stimulation – especially if you’ve just reached The Big O. However, when applied after orgasm, continued touch can unlock a particular kind of pain that resonates like pleasure, for some. This practice is commonly known as post-orgasm torture, and its a BDSM practice that involves intense stimulation of the genitals after climax.
Post-orgasm torture is widely enjoyed by kinksters for a variety of reasons. There’s the physiological element. Some submissives love the sweet ache of being consensually forced to continue play when their genitals are extra sensitive. There’s also a distinctly psychological aspect to post-orgasm torture. For the bottom, the hormonal fluctuation of cumming and then continuing sexual stimulation can elicit a slew of new and exciting reactions. On the Dominant’s side, there’s an obvious appeal to seeing your submissive in limbo between loving and despising you for continuing ministrations.
If any of the above tickles your fancy, you might want to get up to speed on how to practice this deliciously wicked fetish with safety and respect for your play partner at the forefront. We won’t torture you with the build-up – let’s get right into it.
What is post-orgasm torture?
There’s a complicated midpoint between pain and pleasure that comes with continued play after one party has reached “the little death,” as they say. Tapping into this sweet spot involves the uncomfortable and sometimes painful stimulation of the erogenous areas directly following orgasm. For many people, this means stroking or even slapping the vulva, clitoris, labia, vagina, penis, anus, scrotum or perineum. These zones are prone to be especially responsive right after climax.
If you find having your genitals played with after orgasm incredibly unbearable, post-orgasm torture might not be for you. But if you’re willing to push through the discomfort and give up control, it’s possible to achieve subsequent unforgettable orgasms through this method. Not to mention the mental benefits that often accompany this activity.
The brain after orgasm is a dynamic place. Your body releases a rush of oxytocin and endorphins that can increase your feelings of calm, satisfaction, and bliss. Prolonged stimulation can disrupt your post-orgasmic stasis, leading you to feel increased sensitivity to touch or a heightened state of arousal paired with more robust pleasurable feelings.
Given this, it’s no surprise that post-orgasm torture is popularly practiced in the BDSM community. It’s even given rise to a whole subset of meme culture about the joys of sensory overload after an orgasm (see: the “nutted but she still suckin’” meme).
What does post-orgasm torture feel like?
“For many, post-orgasm torture can heighten the sensitivity of erogenous zones, as the body becomes hypersensitive following climax,” Aliyah Moore, PhD., sexpert at SexualAlpha tells Kinkly. “This can lead to sensations that oscillate between extreme pleasure and discomfort, often described as an ‘electric’ or ‘tingling feeling.’”
The psychological component is significant as well, Moore asserts.
“The dynamic between the giver and receiver can intensify feelings of vulnerability, submission, and trust,” she explains. “The intensity and duration should be tailored to the individual's comfort and tolerance levels to ensure it remains a positive and consensual experience.”
While Moore’s description might give you an idea, bear in mind, this phenomenon will feel unique to everyone. Pleasure is experienced differently from person to person, and can even vary from experience to experience based on where you are mentally and physically at that time. Even our gender identity informs how we enjoy orgasm – that’s why male orgasm torture can manifest in a completely different way from female orgasm torture.
TLDR: This kink will feel different to everyone, and that’s just one of the many tantalizing things about it.
According To Readers Like You…
“I practice [post-orgasm torture] with my dominant. I’m a male and she’s female. I have been brought to three orgasms total during a play session and the last was nothing more than a few drops of jizz. The second was quick and more intense like a bolt of lightning. We involve a lot of props in our play…one of my favorites for this is a prostate massager. I’ve actually cried during a session before. My genitals have hurt and I’ve honestly felt like I’ve taken a beating. I don’t request this very often, but I do always come back for more, and I always enjoy it. Don’t trust anyone who tells you to try this without a safe word. You need it.” - J, 29
“My ex partner was a sadist who would use her thumbs to mercilessly polish the head of my penis after orgasm until I couldn’t take it. I liked being restrained throughout because I couldn’t help but spasm. It was freeing to be able to thrash around. Eventually, I always felt like I got over ‘the hump’ and started feeling euphoria again. It was always worth it.” - Quinn, 39
“I used to think I hated when my partner tried to touch [my vagina] after he’d made me orgasm. It felt foreign and just kind of wrong. I find that to really get into post-orgasm torture, I have to start play in subspace. Then, I can almost disassociate from the voice in my head telling me ‘this is uncomfortable’ and sink into the mental joy I get from being subservient and just allowing my partner to use my body for his pleasure. Plus, I have gotten some ridiculous orgasms out of it.” - Beth, 27
How to Do Post-Orgasm Torture Safely
At its core, post-orgasm torture involves the Dominant taking advantage of the raw and sensitive state that their sub’s body might be in post-orgasm. Because of this, there’s a marked exchange of power that makes safety and consent of the utmost importance. Follow this blueprint to successfully relish in post-orgasm torture, while ensuring boundaries are respected throughout the session.
Ensure consent ahead of time
Before engaging in any form of post-orgasm torture, Moore recommends having a detailed conversation about boundaries and limits.
“Both parties should agree on what is acceptable and what is off-limits.”
Consider having this discussion in a neutral zone outside of the bedroom instead of in the throes of passion to ensure greater objectivity from all parties. You could even use this conversation to set a time limit on the session in advance, which can help manage expectations so that play doesn’t feel overwhelming.
The safe word is your north star
Always rely on your safe word or safe words throughout any participation in BDSM. This phrase will immediately stop play if it becomes too intense or uncomfortable.
“Choose a word that isn’t commonly used in sexual contexts,” Moore recommends. “Such as ‘red’ for stop and ‘yellow’ for slow down.”
Take notice of every erogenous zone
While post-orgasm torture is most commonly employed on the genitals by pinching or stroking the penis or clitoris directly after climax, don’t neglect the other hot spots at your disposal. Stimulating the nipples, the neck, and beyond can be a great appetizer to post-orgasm torture since these pleasure zones are bound to be sensitive immediately after orgasm, but they won’t elicit a response as “painful” as the genitalia.
Start slowly and watch for cues
“Begin with gentle stimulation and gradually increase intensity,” Moore recommends. “This allows the receiver to adjust and provides an opportunity to gauge their comfort level.”
As the Dominant, know that assessing where your sub is can come down to verbal and nonverbal cues. If your partner shows signs of distress, pause and check in.
Bondage and restraints are your new best friends
For regulars at post-orgasm torture, play can be elevated by tying your partner down and manipulating their body in its most raw state. Consider investing in a pair of body-safe handcuffs or a restraint mechanism to immobilize the submissive if you’re planning on unlocking this kink in an extreme way.
Break out the toy chest.
Speaking of accessories, you don’t have to be an expert rigger to incorporate pleasure products into your session. A vibrator applied to the penis or clitoris can provide some extra electricity that’s certain to send your sub into orbit. A little bit of lube can go a long way when it comes to ensuring this brand of torture is fun for everyone involved.
“Post-orgasm, the body may become more dry,” Moore reminds Kinkly. “Using lube can also help reduce friction and enhance comfort.”
If humiliation’s your jam, lean in
Since the submissive’s body will be in hyperdrive, their reactions to post-orgasm torture can be quick or involuntary. This puts the torturer in a unique position of power over the torturee, increasing feelings of vulnerability for the bottom as they lose control over their body.
If you or your partner has a humiliation fetish, don’t be afraid to capitalize on that lack of control by highlighting how powerless and obedient post-orgasm torture requires the submissive to become. You can employ a little dirty talk to really bring this over the edge.
Think: “You look so pretty when you squirm for me” or “I love the way you take it.”
Mix pain with your pleasure
Post-orgasm torture is commonly practiced by stroking or rubbing your partner once they’ve cum, such as working the penis with two hands immediately following ejaculation, or fingering your partner when she’s in a post-climax fugue state.
However, impact play can be just as powerful as touching when it comes to post-orgasm torture. Try pinching, flicking, or spanking as opposed to simply caressing to see how your submissive reacts.
Deploy the aftercare
“After the session, engage in aftercare to help the receiver come down from the intense experience,” Moore suggests. “This can include cuddling, providing water, and discussing the session to ensure they feel safe and cared for.”
The Bottom Line
Think you’re up to the challenge of trying post-orgasm torture? Whether you’re chasing the blend of pleasure and pain or the thrill of pushing your limits, this BDSM practice can unleash new ecstasies for you and your play partner.
Just remember: Prioritize consent and communication. While the ‘torture’ is meant to be a little bit cruel, it’s also meant to arouse. Dive in with curiosity and an open mind – you might surprise yourself with the pleasures you’re able to achieve if you’re willing to bear a little discomfort.
