Setting aside some time for a solo masturbation session is great and all, but have you ever tried masturbating with a partner? Or multiple partners? If you've been sleeping on mutual masturbation, you're really missing out.
There are lots of ways to experiment with mutual masturbation, which can be either the first act of your sexual adventure with your partner or the main event itself.
Mutual masturbation is a great way to build intimacy. Letting your partner see how you give yourself pleasure shows them that you trust them enough to let them in on an act that's often deeply personal and private. It can also teach them more about how to give you pleasure. And watching your partner can teach you some tricks as well. Plus, it's super hot to enjoy the sights and sounds of the both of you getting off at the same time.
If you've never tried mutual masturbation before, it can feel really intimidating. And we won't lie — getting started can be a little awkward. Allowing someone to see how you masturbate requires a lot of vulnerability. You're letting someone in on a very intimate act you don't usually share, and you have to trust that they'll honor your intimacy and vulnerability. At the same time, you have to honor the intimacy and vulnerability your partner is offering you!
It's completely normal to be apprehensive, and maybe a little bit embarrassed the first time you try mutual masturbation. Remember, your partner is probably feeling the same way! Trust that once you get past the initial nervousness, you'll enjoy yourselves quite a bit. Or, if you don't (which is fine!), you'll always have the option to try something else.
If you and your partner are ready to explore mutual masturbation but aren't quite ready to dive in fingers first, it can be helpful to take the focus off the actual act of masturbation. One way to do this is to find ways to get turned on together. If you're both already so turned on that you can't help but touch yourselves or each other, neither of you will worry about how you look or sound or what the other person thinks of your particular masturbation technique.
Watching porn together, listening to audio erotica while cuddling in bed, and playing with app-based toys are all great ways to get your engines started without having to jump directly into mutual masturbation.
Not sure where to start? No worries. We've gathered up some of our favorite sites to enjoy with a partner that are sure to get you both hot, bothered, and ready to pleasure yourselves and each other.
Founded by Lilly Sparks, Afterglow is an ethical porn studio run by women, making pornography for women. But just because Afterglow's films are made with women in mind doesn't mean men won't find the films just as enjoyable. The films all prioritize pleasure, consent, and real sex, not the stylized, exaggerated sex we often see in pornography, which makes them sexy AF regardless of your sex or gender, in our humble opinion.
Afterglow's philosophy is that if people watch authentic, great sex, they'll be better at having authentic, great sex. With this philosophy at its core, Afterglow also produces what the company has dubbed Eduporn — porn that actually teaches you techniques for better sex. Afterglow has multiple eduporn videos on both masturbation and mutual masturbation, in addition to multiple films that feature mutual masturbation and guided masturbation videos that literally walk you through masturbating together.
You need a subscription to access the full library of Afterglow videos, but if you subscribe to their newsletter, you can get a free video to get you started. As luck would have it, their current free video is "an ode to mutual masturbation," featuring FaceTime mutual masturbation.
So, sign up for that newsletter, settle in with your partner, and watch some virtual mutual masturbation before you get started! Or subscribe to the site and watch the plethora of videos featuring mutual masturbation. Or turn on a guided masturbation video and let one of the Afterglow pros talk you through an orgasmic experience.
With Afterglow, you can do it all.
If you want access to more varied types of adult entertainment but don't want to spring for a subscription, head over to Bellesa.co. Like Afterglow, Bellesa focuses on porn by women, for women, but the site is also a hub for porn films from several major ethical porn studios.
Though you can subscribe to Bellesa to watch full videos, the site also has literally thousands of free clips. And when we say clips, we're not talking five-minute segments where you barely see any of the action. We're talking 10- to 20-minute videos featuring well-edited collections of clips from full-length films. Bellesa also has some very popular compilation videos featuring clips from several films all around a theme: threesomes, blowjobs, anal, group sex, masturbation, sex toys, BDSM, and more. There are even a few free full-length films!
The videos are all sorted by categories on the site, so you can easily find a video that will get you and your partner all keyed up and ready to masturbate. You could choose a video based on a fantasy you both share — bondage, group sex, roleplay — or you could look for videos specifically about masturbation to get some inspiration.
And while you're there, bookmark Bellesa. You'll thank us later.
For those who don't want to watch pornography, audio erotica is the perfect solution. Dipsea is the audio erotica destination. Dipsea is basically naughty Audible. The site and the accompanying app host thousands of erotic audiobooks and audio stories. The production team at Dipsea partners with professional erotica writers to produce some of the steamiest stories on the market.
You can find short stories, epic erotic novels with new chapters released on a regular basis, and even "moan audios," which feature real, live sex sounds and leave the rest up to your vivid imagination. Dipsea also has an entire Wellness section that features sexy meditations (yes, that's a thing!), breathwork meditations to get your mind and body prepared for sexy time, and guided masturbation tracks that talk you through bringing yourself peak pleasure.
Audio erotica is awesome for mutual masturbation because you can keep your eyes entirely on your partner while your ears soak in all the arousing input and create a mind picture that will have you beyond ready to touch yourself.
You need a subscription to access the full Dipsea library; however, there are multiple ways to access the site's auditory pleasures. The best way is to sign up for a 30-day free trial. But if you're not one for subscriptions and you just need a little inspiration to get you started, you can also listen to five to six minute previews of some of their best audio tracks for free on the site or in the app.
With Dipsea, you can press play, turn up the volume, and start getting frisky. Or grab some earbuds and make sure you press play at the same time, which could be a great way to explore virtual mutual masturbation as well!
While Dipsea offers some amazing options, audio erotica aficionados will want to head over to Quinn, the crown jewel of audio erotica. Quinn features a massive library of all sorts of audio delights: erotic audiobooks, erotic short stories, guided masturbation, and quick and dirty podcast-style episodes.
The best thing about Quinn, though, is the searchability. Everything is tagged with categories so you can easily search for the arousing audio that really gets you going. The site and app also display a list of trending categories like boyfriend, MDom, praise, wlw, FDom, degradation, aftercare, couple, gentle, in public, co-workers, guided masturbation, edging, voyeurism, strangers to lovers, and friends to lovers (actual categories from the app!) as well as a long list of all their categories so you can click right through to a list tailored to your erotic interests. As is evident from their list of trending categories, Quinn has erotic audio catering to a wide range of kinks and fetishes.
The only downside to Quinn is that there's no free option. You have to subscribe to access any of their content. But it's only $3.99/month if you sign up for a full year upfront or $4.99/month if you want to pay monthly, with the option to cancel at any time.
With Quinn, you and your partner can choose audio erotica about that kinky thing you both love (or that kinky thing you both really want to try) or a steamy guided masturbation, turn it up, and focus all your visual attention on each other while you imagine yourselves acting out what you're hearing. That's sure to get those hands wandering all over your bodies... and each other's bodies.
For sex toy enthusiasts (which is all of us, right?), the best way to try mutual masturbation is definitely with toys that pair with mobile apps, like the toys made by We-Vibe. These toys connect to an app that you can download to any Apple or Android phone, and you or a partner can use the app to control the toys. Yes, even remotely, which also makes We-Vibes app-enabled toys perfect for experimenting with virtual mutual masturbation.
With app-controlled toys, you and your partner can each find a toy that pushes all the right buttons for your anatomy, download the app, and then hand the controls over to each other. Using the app, you can adjust the intensity, pattern, and sensation of your partner's toy while they're doing the same with your toy. There's something uniquely delicious about controlling your partner's sexual arousal during mutual masturbation, especially if you're both into domination and submission dynamics.
If letting your partner control your toy is a bit much, you and your partner can control your own toys via apps on your own phones. This allows you to customize your pleasure while you watch your partner create their own pleasure. Make sure the app is paired with the right toy before you start!
Obviously, trying mutual masturbation with app-controlled toys requires an upfront investment, but we promise you'll never be disappointed that you bought a We-Vibe toy. And when your partner's not around, you have a brand new toy for all your solo sex as well.
Just like with any other partnered sexual activity, finding out what works for both of you will take some experimentation. Maybe you love the idea of mutual masturbation while watching porn, but when you actually try it, you're both too distracted by the visuals to focus on each other. Or maybe you try mutual masturbation with some audio erotica and get so wrapped up in the actual story that you're not concentrating on your pleasure.
Or maybe you discover that the masturbation techniques that work for you when you're alone don't really get you there when you're with your partner. Don't get discouraged! Try a new tactic or move on to another activity you know you both love and try mutual masturbation again another time.
Eventually, you'll find something that works for both of you, and you'll get to enjoy all the pleasure that comes from masturbating with someone instead of alone.
