Imagine walking into a room full of complete strangers, without any clothes on, and talking about your sex life. Well, that's what the Bodysex workshop was like...literally. The workshop included two days of sitting in a circle, completely nude, and talking about our body image issues and orgasm experiences. Each participant did a genital show-and-tell (yes, that's exactly what it sounds like), and performed a guided masturbation. We talked about our sex lives and bonded over the many similar experiences that we share as women. Certainly not every woman would feel comfortable in a Bodysex workshop, but something that I quickly realized is that when women can learn to be vulnerable with one another, they are that much closer to overcoming genital shame and other sexual barriers. This vulnerability leads to a huge positive shift in how we experience sex. For example, most women will admit that they have never looked at their vulvas. As a sex therapist, I often talk to women about body acceptance and will recommend that they use a hand mirror really take a look at themselves. The first time I saw my vulva was an experience was like no other, but confronting myself in the mirror allowed me to get in touch with my body and feel more open and comfortable. (Read 10 Things You Don't Know About Self-Love for more ways to boost your sexual confidence.)
Finding the Words: Talking About Sex
In Betty’s workshop, we were often given the floor to share how we felt about our sexual experiences. For some women, this was the first time they had talked about sex publicly. It was difficult to find the words to truly articulate such a deeply personal part of our sexuality. As a sex therapist, I talk about sex all day long. In the workshop, it wasn't talking about sex that was difficult for me, but I did find it challenging to focus on myself and my own sexuality. Talking about sex is medicinal in that it can heal the wounded body, heart, mind, and soul. I once came across a quote that has been my mantra in my professional work ever since: "Talk about sex and change the world." Once we begin to talk about sex, something changes within us. If we can talk about sex, we can talk about anything. (For more on the importance of communication, read Why We Should All Be Talking About Sex a lot More Often).
