Why keep sex to just the bed with an entire world out there to explore? Why not enjoy the naughty thrill of hiding your pleasure while others are near or feel the grounding touch of grass against your bare skin?
Not only do exhibitionism (and voyeurism!) rejuvenate your sex life with a sense of novelty, but they can be done while solo or with a partner. Take yourself out to enjoy the tease, or draw out your foreplay with a partner by taking it outside first.
We'll go over some tips and tricks for exhibitionist public play and talk about some easy ways to play nice — or up the risk with naughty play — in public spaces.
But first, let's talk best practices.
While most of the public play fun is all about that taboo, "might get caught" vibe, it's vital that you actually try not to get caught. A random passerby didn't consent to see nudity or sex on their walk in the park.
Whether you're playing online or in-person, there are risks to doing sexual things in a non-private space. This can include being arrested, being publicly shamed, losing your job, losing custody of your kids, and more.
Not to scare you, but anything you choose to do should be viewed through this "worst case scenario" lens so you can make an informed decision about taking the risk. Sometimes our horny brains can convince us something is great when our rational brains would not agree.
A lot of things can happen when you're playing outside of your personal space. Not only do you not have access to your usual condoms or lube, but things can go sideways in ways you don't expect. Your vibrating toy's battery might die, or your stomach might start to feel upset even though you have a plug in.
Plan for the "what ifs" to make your exhibitionist play as fun and stress-free as possible.
Your chances for safe exhibitionist play may be short and fleeting. Dress for easy access (and easy redressing) to enjoy yourself without saying exposed longer than you need to.
While you should keep the consequences of exhibitionist play in mind, you also need to consider your physical safety. If someone unexpectedly comes across your sexual self, you can't predict what they might do. Assault or sexual assault are potential outcomes here.
Make sure to think about where your nearest "out" is when playing in public. Naked and parked in an abandoned cruising park makes it difficult to get help if something goes awry.
Given it some good thought and decided you're still excited by the idea of exhibitionism? Here are some inspirational ideas for releasing your exhibitionist side.
Go for "Nice" if you're looking for something with less risk, or try the "Naughty" suggestion if you're okay with a little more risk.
The hustle and buzz of a restaurant can be a great spot for discreet public play. Partner that with flirting at a bar or sitting across your lover on date night, and restaurants can be surprisingly exhibitionist-friendly.
Protip: In case of oopsies, I recommend picking a restaurant you're familiar with, but not a favorite. This way you have a good idea of what to expect with noise or seating, but you won't have the attention that comes with being recognized as a regular.
Wear a piece of your kink gear out to a restaurant. Day collars or a simple, basic wrist cuffs can double as trendy jewelry nowadays, and if you're otherwise dressed like you fit in, people won't give it a second glance without getting too uncomfortable.
If you're into something a bit more adventurous, wear long sleeves or long pants and wear wrist cuffs or ankle cuffs into the restaurant. With them hidden under your clothing, only you'll be the wiser. I've even known a couple who used to attach a short leash to a submissive's wrist cuff. When they were walking, they'd "hold hands" for the dominant to discreetly hold the leash loop. When they sat down for lunch, the submissive would tuck the leash up into the arm of their sweatshirt.
Grab your wearable sex toy, and head out for dinner or drinks. Use a Bluetooth-enabled toy — like the We-Vibe Bond for penises or the Satisfyer Top Secret+ for vulvas — to offer real-time control the sensations as you sit.
A lover can control it as they sit next to you, but you can also offer real-time control to anyone with an internet connection too. Feel free to sext over dinner and provide updates as your long-distance lover controls the sensations between your thighs.
Your car can be parked virtually anywhere for portable private space. Once there, all of a car's nooks and crannies make it easy to keep any sex toys or changes of clothing you need right at hand. You don't have to travel light if car play is your exhibitionist venue!
Protip: Safer sex barriers can break down in the heat of a car. If you need them for safer sex, make sure to keep them on your person and bring them into the car when you're ready to have a great time.
Take your car to any public place that sparks your fantasies, and enjoy a bit of pre-home play. This can be a great time to rub your hands on the outside of clothing or to sit on a hands-free vibrator like the Wild Flower Enby 2 or Orion VibePad 2.
Once you're all hot and bothered, safely drive yourself back home, park in the garage, and get naked to your heart's content!
Your car can park anywhere you want, and you can use that to your advantage when you want to get a bit naughty. Simply sliding your hand, or a partner's hand, down your pants or underneath a dress can give you an easy out if anyone approaches the car. Just make sure the car is safely parked before getting down to pleasure; we're all about safety here!
If you have tinted windows or can put up window screens to add some privacy, all the better! Just remember to keep things looking somewhat normal; a car with a blanket on top of it in a park would set off all the red flags for anyone at a quick glance.
If you're lucky enough to have your own backyard, nature is right outside your patio door. For many city dwellers, though, you might need to take a short trip to a campground or outdoor park with enough privacy for play.
Protip: Remember to put your safety first if you're in a desolated area. Don't allow someone to take you into an area that's too far away from others.
Get out your tent! Tents can offer the freedom of privacy no matter where you are. Feel free to "pop a tent" up in your own backyard or at a local campground. If you have a lover, the two of you can enjoy less exposing activities against the trees, like making out or grinding through clothing, and save all of the lewd things for the privacy of your tent.
Having sex or masturbating outdoors with the breeze, moon, or sun on your skin can feel amazing. It also can be very illegal, depending on where you're at. Make sure to plan ahead to find a private space where you're unlikely to be discovered.
Don't want to leave the privacy of your own home? Are you more turned on by getting fully naked and showing off actual sex acts? If so, there are lots of corners of the internet that are dying to meet you.
Protip: In the days of concerningly restrictive pornography laws, you will likely be required to show a legal ID to sign up for some of these services. You'll need to decide if having that ID attached to your antics is part of your risk profile. And vote with where your beliefs lie when you see local politicians pushing for this.
If the idea of showing off carefully-curated parts of your body sounds hot, there are lots of websites where adult photos and videos are accepted. Set up the scenarios and looks you want to showcase in the privacy of your own home, and then upload them to your website of choice. Lay back and enjoy all of the feedback!
Find a sex-friendly space that allows for Live Streaming. Sign up, and set up a free Live Stream, taking requests and showing off the things that turn you on. If you're really into the interacting aspects, a Lovense vibrator, like the Lush 3, can vibrate every time you get a tip.
If you're not looking to make any income, set the tip threshold to a single token and enjoy that interactive, back-and-forth play with any person who happens to come across you.
Strip down and go for a swim! Choosing an adults-only or private swimming area — like a nude beach or a pool at a resort, your backyard pool, or a secluded swimming hole — makes it less likely that you'll offend someone.
If you love showing off, there are some awfully skimpy swimsuits out there. As long as you have everything legally covered, the worst that can happen is that you get asked to change or leave.
Just make sure you keep everything covered. Some skin glue can help make that happen if you're going ultra-micro!
If you find a discreet corner of a secluded swimming area, you might be able to get away with sliding that swimsuit to the side for a photograph or a lover's view. Just remember that cameras are everywhere in public spaces nowadays. At a public pool, you might be better off trying to sneak into a changing room for a quick exposure instead of doing it at the pool.
If you're at a nude beach or in your own backyard pool, strip all the way down and enjoy the view!
So far, everything we've talked about has probably been a spot you've gone to within the last year. If you really want to get frisky without some of the usual legal risks, though, a sex club might be exactly what you're looking for.
When looking for a local sex club, phrases like "Sex club," "Swinger's club," or "BDSM Play Party" may bring up your local options. Many of these clubs are hard to find, though. They intentionally try to fly under the radar to keep from becoming the latest target in a Puritan campaign.
Protip: Plan ahead before hitting a sex club. Many require applications and background checks before you can attend. Even after approval, many clubs limit the number of single people allowed on any given night, so buying tickets in advance is usually recommended.
Dress up in your sexiest or kinkiest attire before hitting your local sex club. There's nothing wrong with scoping out the local space and looking hot while doing so.
If you're the social type, there's a lot of flirting to be had that can set your loins on fire without needing to have sex that night. Don't worry, if you have a great time, you can always come back!
Head to your local sex club dressed to impress and with an intention to play. I highly recommend having a vision in your head of what you want to do and a strict promise to yourself to avoid deviating from it. If your local club serves alcohol, which many do, it can be easy to let reduced inhibitions, arousal, and pressure, unintended or otherwise, convince you to do something you wouldn't otherwise.
Some ideas for your first adventure into a sex club could include:
Remember: you can always come back another time. It's better to play it easy your first time, ride the arousing high, and come back later to do even more. You want each visit to your sex club to keep feeling exciting, right? So make sure to save some new activities for later!
Now that you've got some naughty and nice ideas, get your inner exhibitionist out there and play!
