5 Tips for Finding Kinky Play When You Travel

Going outside of your hometown is exciting for a lot of reasons. Not only can you explore new restaurants, enjoy the tourist traps, see amazing landmarks, and shop in beautiful new downtowns, but there's a whole city full of people you've never met!

Especially when you're into kink or casual sex in a smaller city, it can start to feel like you've met all of your local options. Heading to a new city brings a whole new pool of people to connect with!

However, finding kinky play in a new city can be difficult. Not only does casual kink play come with its own set of risks compared to non-kinky casual sex, but trying to find someone with a common kink or fetish comes with its own list of difficulties.

Of course, before we get into the fun ways to find kink play while traveling, I have to caution due diligence. Quite a few of us (myself included!) tend to rush into things or skip steps when there's an abbreviated timeline.

Yeah, we know we should meet in a public space before heading to someone's house, but when we're trying to fit our play into the three hours we have between work meetings, that can seem less feasible. I know play (and the idea of play!) can be fun, hot, and super arousing, but let's remember that play with any new person - and especially casual kink scenes - can also sometimes be dangerous.

While it's a more sobering thought that the legions of orgasms you plan to have, make sure to keep your safety in mind.

That being said, here are some fantastic ways to find kinky sex partners while traveling. Just make sure to keep standard safety protocols in mind!

Look for Local Swingers/Kink Parties

What better way to meet people than to use the parties already designed to casually help you meet people? With the popularity of online communities (like Fetlife, Kasidie, or Swing Lifestyle), it can be as simple as opening up your profile and searching for events going on near your travel location.

Since the party is already happening and people there are looking for just the thing you're looking for, a play party can be a fantastic, travel-friendly way to play with others.

Make sure to check the pre-requisites for attending your potential parties. If the party requires a social event first, when planning far enough in advance, you may be able to contact the host and request an exception. Some groups may require a quick Skype meeting or others may allow you into the party if you're active in your own local scene. Most groups can be pretty understanding about travel circumstances!

Read: Everything You Need to Know About Your First BDSM Play Party

Use Fetlife Meet-Up Groups

Did you know there are entire groups on Fetlife dedicated to casual play and hook-ups between individual people? Those are probably where you want to be.

Before heading to your location, use Fetlife's search box to type in the place where you're going. From there, you'll likely see those groups pop up. Look for group names like "City Looking" or "Hook-Ups in City" or group names like that. You can also use this method to look for local groups that might be hosting events or play parties.

Once you find and join a good group, consider making an introductory post - or just reach out to others who have posted. When making an introductory post, be clear about what you want - and what you're offering.

Make sure you make it clear what dates you'll be in town and what experiences you're looking to have. It wouldn't hurt to mention what safety precautions you'd like to take as well. Generally, kinksters want to see that you take safety seriously too.

Read: 8 Fetish Gear Ideas for Kinksters Who Aren't into Leather or Latex

Update Your Online Profile Locations

What profiles do you use to meet people? Tinder? OkCupid? Grindr? Consider updating your location to your traveling location so the site displays people in your upcoming travel area. To prevent confusion with your local mates, you might consider putting a note in your profile about your temporary visitor's status.

For more time to find someone before the date rolls around, consider updating your online profile location a week or two in advance - and then actively look around ahead of time.

Depending on the website, however, your success might be limited. Be aware that not everyone is looking for a casual hook-up. Especially when using OkCupid or other social-focused websites like Fetlife, be aware that your quick travel itinerary is going to be a hindrance – and not a good thing - to many people look for a long-term playmate in their area.

Read: Vacation Sex! TSA Tips, Tricks and the Best Toys for Travel

Reach Out to People Online

If you're looking for something in particular or want to have a special connection with a particular someone, you can always reach out to people online before you're in the area. Online profiles make it easy to sort by location - and find someone with kinks that match your own.

When reaching out to an individual, make sure to put some time and effort into your message unless your recipient's profile makes it clear they also are into casual kinky play. Don't forget to include why you think the two of you would be a good match - and always make sure to include how you'll be going about this meet-up safely.

Like any other message you might send, don't forget to treat the other person with respect! Sure, you're looking for a sexy night of fun, but that doesn't mean that the other person is an irreplaceable sex doll for you. Make sure they don't feel that way.

Read: It's OK to Have Casual Sex on Your Summer Vacation - Here's How

Try Bars

Finally, if the other methods aren't for you, you might want to consider the standard, "tried and true" way of meeting people: bars and other social events. While I don't recommend bars, they can be a "last resort" when trying to meet other people.

Try to scope out the various kink and LGBT-friendly bars ahead of time as they're likely to have more kinksters than a standard downtown establishment. If possible, to reduce the likelihood of anything dangerous, avoid play that evening - when you both might be drinking. Instead, get the person's number and give them a call when you're both more clear-headed - and likely able to safely negotiate and figure out what your kinky selves want to do.

Of course, any potential connection with another person can be a chance for kinky casual play, but with the above suggestions, we hope to help you find a bit more success on your traveling adventures.

Make sure to keep safety in mind while traveling, but don't forget to have fun too! If nothing else, consider hitting up the local kinky toy store to whet your cravings to be around kink if you're not having much luck!

Read: Have Sex Toys, Will Travel: How to Take Them On Your Next Trip