Got a Halloween party coming up? Or maybe you just have a hankering for something ... scary. It isn't just kids who get to have fun on Halloween. In fact, we were pleased to discover just how many Halloween-themed sex toys are out there. They range from creepy to cool to, well, kinda shocking. And while these probably won't be everyday favorites, they sure look like a lot of fun, especially if all you've got going on on Halloween is a bag of candy and a night to yourself. Keep reading. We've saved the best - and most bizarre - novelties for the end.
It isn't just the kids who get to have fun. These toys are for adults only.
A Treat for the Grownups
Want to indulge your sweet tooth while indulging in a bit of bondage? A cherry-flavored candy ball gag could just add a little something sweet to seal up you or your partner's dirty mouth. Although if you don't like sticky drool, this probably isn't for you.
A Distinguished Strap-On Accessory
Are you going as a dashing gentleman for Halloween? Maybe part of a barbershop quartet? The MustachiO Vibrating Mustache accessory will make sure you're ready to give out the world's best mustache rides wherever and whenever they're needed. It comes in classic black or pink. Consider it the latest and greatest in "strap on" technology.
DIY Glow Sticks
Just when you think there can't be a better, more innovative lube out there in lube-land, you find something like Cosmic Bear Glow-in-the-Dark Lube. I can think of so many uses for this that go waaay beyond Halloween. I'd use it to highlight the path from my bed to the bathroom so that I can stop banging into things at night. I'd use it to decorate the outside of my house. Hell, this would be great before heading out for a night of clubbing. Or splatter it on all the walls to freak people out at a party! Oh yeah. And you could also use it as lube. Make your very own Halloween glow stick!
Lube Dressed Up As ...
Halloween is all about subterfuge. A sticky, red corn syrup solution that looks like blood, peeled grapes that feel like eyeballs ... and lube that looks exactly like ejaculate. Yup, you heard that right. It's called Spunk Hybrid Lube. It's got a solid reputation as a silicone hybrid lubricant - and it's great for your "There's Something About Mary" references. (Learn more about silicone lube in The Ins and Outs of Sexual Lubricants.)
A Vibrator That'll Scare Your Pants Off
Death by orgasm! At least that's what the Death by Orgasm Scorpion Bullet Vibrator promises. This creepy, crawly vibrator comes packaged in a coffin case - and it packs at 10-speed punch. It's the perfect addition to a party, a bedroom, or a re-enactment of a horror scene. You know, one where there's a scorpion down your pants. It also comes in Black Widow or Vampire Bride versions. Unfortunately, this creepy little vibe has been discontinued. Too scary, perhaps?
A Devilish Dildo
No Halloween would be complete without the devil. From the company that brought you the Baby Jesus butt plug, comes The Devil, a demon-shaped dildo. Well, why should trick or treaters have all the fun?
An Out-of-This-World Experience
Fleshlights tend toward looking rather human. Well, most of them anyway. The Alien Fleshlight and its companion Alien Dildo are an inhuman shade of neon blue. Buy the set and you'll have yourself an intergalactic party.
For the Necrophiliac in Your Life
Think alien sex is weird? Fleshlight has a whole line called Freaks, which includes all kinds of Halloween-themed characters, including aliens, Frankenstein, cyborg
and zombie-styled toys.
Kudos to Fleshlight for their commitment to realism; that zombie dildo in particular looks EXACTLY like a decomposing dick would (I guess? I'm imagining here). On the plus side; there's finally something for necrophiliacs. Oh, and for anyone holding a Halloween sex party. This is perfect for you.
Of course, if you don't like your sex toys creepy, you can always play dress up with your partner to get in on the Halloween fun. Happy Halloween!
