A voyeur is someone who is sexually gratified by observing people. Such a person may be said to have or identify as having a voyeur kink. Voyeurs typically become turned on watching people engaging in private acts, including sex. They may watch others in secret from a place where they are hidden from view.
Voyeurs typically become aroused through visual stimulation. They may enjoy watching people undress, shower, or masturbate. They may also enjoy watching people engaging in sexual acts with others.
Voyeurs may also become aroused through aural stimulation. For example, they may get turned on listening to people masturbating or having sex in another room. They may also get sexual pleasure from hearing someone talk about their sex life or a sexual experience someone else had.
You could also say that people who enjoy watching porn are voyeurs. While the performers consent to being filmed having sex, they do not know the people who are watching them; in effect, they are being watched in secret.
Many voyeurs manage their urges and find healthy and consensual ways to enjoy this kink. However, some people struggle with voyeurism. These people may have voyeuristic disorder, a recognized psychiatric condition characterized by persistent and intense urges to spy on people.
What are the origins of the of the voyuerism kink and term?
Voyeur is a French word meaning “one who sees.” It was adopted as an English word with sexual connotations around the start of the 20th century. It was originally used specifically for people who gain sexual pleasure from viewing others in private or intimate acts.
However, by the middle of the 20th century, its meaning had expanded to include any person or group interested in private or shocking details. For example, tabloid magazines may be called voyeurs because their stories pry into the lives of celebrities, often without their consent. While voyeurism has a history of being violating, education in the kink community around consent has changed this both legally and socially. In BDSM, the aim is to allow for the enjoyment of this kink in a way that does not violate in the boundaries and consent of others.
More About Voyeur
According to a 2016 study, voyeurism is one of the more common fetishes, and one that may occur at a higher rate than previously assumed. Other studies have noted that interest in voyeurism is as high as 35-47% among study participants. After all, while not everyone feels compelled to peer at unsuspecting people through their windows, many people feel aroused observing others when they are semi-clothed, nude, or receiving sexual pleasure. If you enjoy watching your partners masturbate, you are something of a voyeur in the common use of the term.
What are some of the ways people play out their voyeur fantasies?
Playing around with voyeurism can be a lot of fun. A voyeur may enjoy watching their partner masturbate, bathe, or shower. They may also organize for their partner to have sex with another person while they watch. For the person who has voyeuristic tendencies, watching someone in these scenarios can be a real thrill. The voyeur gets the chance to enjoy their partner in a different way, where they can pay attention to them without any distractions. People can also enjoy catering to their partner’s voyeuristic tendencies. Knowing you are turning your partner on is also arousing. Those who enjoy voyeurism can also safely enjoy this kink through sex or kink parties.
"I see voyeurs a lot in the community," says Mistress Mona, a Dominatrix based in Philadelphia. "There are various kink and sex parties that I go to where many people participate in the act of voyeuring, watching others, but there are also the specific voyeurs who are getting off on the fact that other people are getting off.”
Note, however, that while watching someone who is unaware they are being viewed may be a key part of the appeal for some voyeurs in the traditional sense, watching someone without their consent or knowledge is illegal. Knowing this, some voyeurs may feel gratified participating in fantasies with a partner’s consent. For example, they might watch their partner through a window and pretend they are a stranger.
Pornography is also often filmed to legally cater to voyeurs. For example, some of these sites show footage from “hidden cameras” capturing people in private moments, such as undressing and masturbating. While the people in these videos are consenting adults, they do not interact with the cameras so it seems as if they are being filmed in secret.
Enjoying a Voyeur Kink Safely
It's important to always prioritize consent with voyeurism. This fetish can create a particularly blurry line for people if they become obsessive and seek out voyeurism without the consent of the people they are watching. If you or someone you know has experienced this or is struggling with voyeuristic obsessions, reach out for help to a mental healthcare provider, or a licensed sex therapist. Paraphilic disorders can occur, and it is important to communicate them to a trusted healthcare professional to obtain help and ensure no one is hurt.
Some first steps in deciding if you want to explore voyeurism would be reaching out to a kink community. Or, if you have a partner or partners who you are interested in, a kink contract could be helpful in deciding boundaries and ensuring everyone’s safety and comfort.
