3 Ways to Get Kinky When Vanilla Life Intervenes

We all have a million and one other obligations - kids, parents, work, binge-watching Netflix - and they often interfere with our sex lives. Once you discover your kinks – and the fun you can have with them - sometimes you crave a little carnal fun. More sex, please! But real life sometimes seems intent on stopping your kinky fun.

What can you do about it? Don't let your vanilla life get in the way of your pleasure. Here are three ideas to keep the kink alive when the rest of the world demands your attention.

Bring Back Sexting

This is me assuming that you used to sext with your significant other early on in your relationship. If you never did it, now is the time to try it. There's nothing that feels riskier and kinkier than sneaking into the restroom at work, taking the money shot with your phone, and sending it to your partner.

Dick pics – as well as vag pics – are encouraged here. Of course, your partner has to want to receive them. (Consent is key!) But just think of their face when they surreptitiously check their phone during a meeting or on their coffee break, and there you are in all your glory. Pro tip: warn them early on they might receive sexts from you – that way they make sure no one is looking over their shoulder when the message comes through.

What other kinds of sexts can you send? Shared fantasies, acted out via a couple hundred characters on your phone. Kinky commands and plenty of “Yes, Sir/Ma'ams.” Want to make sure your kinky submissive is ready for you when you get home? Send them a text telling them to go to the restroom and edge themselves three times in the day. After a day like that, you'll be amazed at how quickly you find time to be together at the end of your day.

Only You and Your Partner Knows What's Under Your Clothes

I can remember the first time I was told to wear an anal plug to work. Holy hell, y'all, it was hot. There was the knowledge that I had an anal plug in at work. There was the fear that it may fall out (panties are a necessity with this one). There was the titillation that I was being kinky at work and none of my co-workers had a clue.

So what you can wear under your clothes?

• Nipple charms
• Cock rings
• Clamps – clitoral or nipple
• Anal plugs
• Remote mini-vibrators
• Special panties

For some, no panties at all is pretty daring. The sky is the limit on this one but remember that most things can't or shouldn't be worn for too long. Be prepared to take it off and conceal it from your co-workers. This is a good one to use with sexting, too. Send pictures throughout the day to your partner so you both of you stay on edge. (Get more kinky ideas in The Ultimate Submission: Remote-Controlled Sex Toys.)

Call in Late or Sick

OK, so I'm not condoning being a total slacker at work or letting down your team on the job, but if you can both swing it, find a day when you can call in sick or even just late, and get your kink on. If you've done your research on kink, you might think you need a few hours for a scene with your partner. When you've got the time, a full scene with toys, mind games, sex, and plenty of aftercare are hours well spent. But in real life, we don't always have that kind of time.

Even just an hour or two for rough sex, forced orgasms, a bit of bondage (bondage tape is nice and quick when you don't have a lot of time), can help you reconnect with your partner. Have even less time? For those who enjoy it, a spanking that lasts 15 to 20 minutes followed by a quickie can do wonders for your attitude – and your relationship.

No matter how kinky you are – from a newbie just exploring your desires to a full on 24/7 kinkster living and loving the BDSM lifestyle – real life will get in the way. Kids, work, friends, family, the newest season of your favorite show – sometimes it seems the whole world is trying to take away your kinky fun. With a bit of creativity and planning, you can be as kinky as you want to be – and only you and your partner will know what's happening.