If you’re familiar with BDSM, it won’t surprise you to hear that collaring a submissive partner is a common practice in the kink space. Collaring can mean different things to different folks, particularly based on the BDSM dynamic you subscribe to. For couples who identify with Daddy Dom / Little Girl dynamics, a collar can be a way to signify that dynamic, both in and out of the bedroom.
Curious about DDLG collars? Whether you’re new to the space or have reached a place with your play partner where you’re considering a collar, buckle up (literally). Here’s the down-low on what collaring means in a DDLG relationship, and how to choose the collar that best suits your needs.
What does a DDLG collar symbolize?
While donning a sub collar can be part of many different BDSM dynamics (see: Sadist/masochist, Owner/pet, etc.), littles often have their own distinct reasons for wanting to be collared.
“A collar sometimes represents ownership commitment, or clear-cut designations within the relationship,” Dr. Ashish Sabharwal tells Kinkly. “In the framework of the DDLG power exchange, it may also emphasize protection, nurturance, or other caring characteristics related to this kind of dynamic. It reinforces an emotional bond that guarantees that when in the hands of a Dominant they feel secure and cherished.”
According to sexologist Aliyah Moore, being a little in a submissive collar is kind of like a child wearing a comfort accessory gifted by a parent.
“Wearing a collar can also be an outward expression of the submissive's identity and role within the relationship, serving as a visible sign of their unique bond,” she elaborates. “Thus, the collar not only symbolizes the power dynamics but also deepens the emotional and psychological connection between partners.”
In essence, the DDLG collar is representative of things that make this dynamic unique: Protection, coddling, and enforcement. A collar can act as a physical tribute to the reasons you cherish your partner, which you find worthy of commemorating with a visual symbol.
Things to Consider Before Buying a DDLG Collar
Choosing a collar is an intimate decision that needs to be considered in context with the preferences of both partners, as well as the nature of the relationship. Start by having an open dialogue with your significant other about why you’d like to incorporate collaring into your existing relationship. These reasons will change depending on the role you play in the relationship. If you're the little, are you looking to make a long term commitment to serving your partner? If you're the Daddy, are you turned on by the thought of your submissive wearing your collar in public, symbolizing their obedience to you?
Regardless of the reason(s) for your desire to collar, there are a variety of criteria to consider:
Comfort and Safety
If you’re considering a collar that can be worn and enjoyed 24/7, there are many sub day collars that are better suited to routine use. Consider something slim, made of a seamless material, that’s easy to conceal under regular clothes.
“Check that the materials used for making the collar do not irritate or bring discomfort to the skin. Breakaway clasps can also keep in check any accidents that may occur,” adds Dr. Sabharwal.
Symbolism and Significance
During your initial conversation about collaring, discuss what the DDLG collar means to both of you. The specifics of this conversation might guide you in the right aesthetic direction while shopping.
For example, if age regression is prominent in your relationship and you’d like something that reinforces that, there are cute DDLG collars that reflect the adorableness of being a little.
Style and Aesthetics
“From subtle day collars for littles to wear in public places only, to elaborate designs made specifically for private use, there are different types of collars,” Dr. Sabharwal points out. “Choose a design that identifies with what your submissive does every day or one that reflects their style.”
Durability
Some submissive collars, particularly those used by short-term or casual play partners, don’t need to stand the test of time. But if you intend your collar to represent an extended commitment, look for and invest in something durable.
“High-quality materials like metal or leather usually last longer, reflecting long-term commitments,” says Dr. Sabharwal.
Fit and Adjustability
Safety first! When purchasing a collar, make sure the fit is neither too tight or too loose. Either will ultimately result in discomfort. An adjustable collar can account for any changes over time and be adjusted at a moment's notice during play so that the submissive is never in pain. Or, at least, more pain than they want to be in, if that's their thing and they've consented.
Personalization
Personalizing your collar can contribute to the sentimental value of a DDLG collar, especially if you’d like the sanctity of your relationship to shine through.
“Consider engraving names, dates, or symbols that hold special meaning,” recommends Dr. Moore.
At the end of the day, the ideal collar will resonate with both partners’ needs and enhance the emotional and psychological connection within the DDLG dynamic.
“The best collar is one that both partners feel comfortable with and proud of, reflecting their unique relationship and the trust they have in each other,” Moore says.
The Best DDLG Collars
While there are plenty of personal factors that go into making a collar right for you, there are several factors that contribute to certain collars being the best in the space. Durability, accessories, and style, to name a few.
Here are some of the best DDLG collars for your consideration. Keep scrolling for more information about each one.
Sportsheets Heart Day Collar
When it comes to fashionable and functionable day collars for littles, look no further. The adorable heart pattern adorning this collar is perfect for honoring your Daddy throughout the day without provoking some of the questions that can come with wearing a collar. The supple material and adjustable fabric are an added bonus for lightweight daily wear.
Master Series Kitty Cat Bell Collar
The playful imaginative fun that littles cherish from their childhood is perfectly replicated in this kittenish collar. It’s perfect if you and your partner dabble in occasional petplay, and also features a non-locking buckle that’s adjustable to any neck.
NS Novelties Cosmo Bondage Collar
For the little who is also an exhibitionist, this little number's holographic lining ensures you’ll be the center of attention. The Cosmo Bondage Collar is all about the aesthetics – it stuns with its rose gold hardware (which is also nickel-free and bodysafe). This gorgeous collar is comfortable for day-to-day use, and it comes with a matching leash that can elevate play in the bedroom. The vinyl exterior even makes it easy to clean.
Sportsheets Orbit Day Collar
You know the saying about how every girl needs a little black dress? Meet the little black collar. For couples who are interested in a tried and true staple, the Orbit Day collar is pretty and functional. The O-ring on the front transitions this accessory from regular wear to any session.
Coquette Pleasure Collar
Some Daddies want to see their littles decked out in adornments that scream: “you’re mine.” The over-the-top design of the Coquette Pleasure Collar will please any Dom who gets off on control. Featuring a wider height and a large O-ring, it’s a feast for the eyes. But when Daddy’s in a gentle mood and just wants to relax with his baby girl, the O-ring pops off for customizable play.
Master Series Slim Kinky Kitty Ring Collar
Little girls with a brat kink, get ready to purr. This fabulous choker blends cuteness and BDSM for a collar that will look especially perfect while Daddy spanks you. It’s also slender enough to tuck into a jacket when you're on-the-go.
NS Novelties Elvira Collar
Prepare to feel like you’re entering your rebellious goth era when you don this sultry collar. It’s comfy and adjustable, but also the perfect companion for any little that’s a glutton for punishment. Just imagine how Daddy will react when his little is pouting: “It’s not just a phase!”
Sportsheets Neck and Wrist Restraint
This collar takes your average bondage handcuffs to the next level. A three-piece set complete with 9 different D-rings, it’s more than just a collar – it’s a Dom’s dream.
Use the cuffs to put a little in her place, or flip the collar backwards to bind her wrists in a subservient position. The Sportsheets Neck and Wrist Restraint is truly the “choose your own adventure” of collars.
Sportsheets Brat Collar
The unique, alluring pattern of this collar is perfect for littles who like to show off. Littles will love the rose gold hardware, and Daddies will love the front-facing D-ring that compliments BDSM play.
NS Novelties Electra Plaything Collar and Leash
For littles who like bright shiny things and rough play, there's the Electra Play Things collar. It’ll add a splash of color to any treasure chest, and features a buckle closure with multiple size options for versatile punishments, if that piques your interest. It’s also lined with neoprene so littles and their Daddies can enjoy hours of comfortable play.
Collaring is an intimate and personal way to honor your relationship, so don't be afraid to take your time finding the DDLG collar that truly speaks to your special dynamic. Whatever you do choose, remember that it's the intention and feelings behind the collar that truly make it special.