Once you've been playing in the vast world of kink for a bit, you might consider creating a BDSM dungeon or sex room to truly set the mood for your intimate experiences. Does the thought send a little tingle down your spine? Good! The next logical question is, of course, how do I build a BDSM dungeon?
Don't worry young kinkster. We'll guide you through creating your very own sex dungeon; from designing and planning to cleaning protocols and everything in between. By the end of this, you’ll be well on your way to creating the space of your dreams; whether it’s a secret hideaway for you and your lover or a place that you’re proud to show off to all your kinky friends in the BDSM community.
If you don’t identify as kinky, don't stop reading yet! We'll also give you ideas for your own pleasure room so you can revel in any sexy aesthetic you want to create.
What is a BDSM Dungeon?
BDSM dungeons are dedicated spaces where your debaucherous desires come to life. Folks enjoy visiting or creating these spaces because just being there can help them get into a kinky headspace.
The decor and furniture create a mood, often “dark and dangerous,” but that doesn’t have to be the vibe for your dungeon! Explore your creativity!
When I was sketching out ideas for my own dungeon, Elysium, I didn’t want it to be scary for people. I wanted to create an atmosphere that was warm, welcoming, and inclusive for everyone, from novice to extreme players, whether you identify as a swinger, lifestyler, fetishist, nudist, hedonist, or something else entirely.
Before we get into how to build a BDSM dungeon, let's talk about the different types of dungeons you might want to create.
Home dungeon
When people transform an area of their home into their erotic playroom, that's a home dungeon. A lot of people will turn a basement into a dedicated kink space, but others may just take a spare bedroom or even a walk-in closet and turn it into a temporary escape.
Home dungeons are most often used for private play with romantic and/or play partners or small parties with close friends.
Professional dungeon
These types of dungeons are typically in a commercial space, sometimes a warehouse, where the public may have access to it. They are most often used as rental spaces for professional domination sessions but may also be used for private exploration, photoshoots, parties, or even a special date night!
If you're wondering where you can find a professional BDSM dungeon near you, a simple internet search can be your best friend!
If you visit a professional dungeon, there are usually strict rules in place that must be adhered to if you want to be welcomed back. These rules put a huge emphasis on safety and consent. One of the pillars of BDSM is informed consent which is that everyone is aware of the activities about to take place and their risks. If the professional dungeon you visit doesn't have clearly communicated rules about safety and consent, you might want to consider finding another dungeon.
How to Build a BDSM Dungeon
As a professional dungeon owner, I can say from experience that a lot of thought, effort, and planning goes into creating the playroom you truly desire. Sometimes you'll find it's not even possible due to limitations of the space you start with.
But don't fret! I’ve put together this guide to help you get started and move forward with as few hiccups as possible. For some more expert advice about the process of building a dungeon, I spoke with Lady Pim, owner of The Kneeling Room.
Planning and Designing
The very first step of the process is least sexy part — figuring out all the legal stuff, which can be a tricky depending on where you live and the surrounding area. Even if you're building a home dungeon, you may need to deal with zoning permits and other bureaucracy. I’d recommend checking with a professional in the legal field before moving forward.
Once you do that and you get the go-ahead to start, the next thing you’ll want to do is think about why you're creating this space. Is it to have your own little fantasy world to indulge in or are you looking to have huge play parties with lots of folks there? Figuring out the scope of your dungeon will help you choose both the location and the equipment, like furniture, your dungeon requires.
Another aspect to consider is how often you want to use this dungeon because that could help determine how much money you actually want to put into the project. If you're going to use it regularly for all kinds of play, you might want to invest a lot of time and money. On the other hand, if it’s not going to get used too often, you might want to stick to a tighter budget.
If you're choosing a location outside your home, think about what is important to you. For her professional dungeon, Lady Pim “was looking for a discrete entrance, central/accessible location, reasonable soundproofing, and something that made sense size-wize,” which might be factors for you to consider as well. If you’re building a BDSM dungeon for other people to enjoy, don't overlook accessibility. Consider features for those with disabilities or mobility issues.
Once you’ve decided on your place, consider the limitations and your layout options. What do you want people to see when they first enter the room? Design the rest of your room around that! Figure out your theme so everything you purchase for your dungeon will fit your aesthetic and flow well, right down to the color scheme. You might want to watch some BDSM dungeon porn or, if there are any in your area, visit a few professional dungeons to get some inspiration.
If your space allows, it can be beneficial to have different areas for different activities. This might look like a space for a bondage rig, another space for impact play, and a designated aftercare section to collapse into comfort after an intense play scene. There should also be a designated area for cleaning supplies to ensure safety.
Finally, ensure that your space has accessible emergency exits, and create an emergency plan with your space in mind to address any incidents that might happen. Better to be prepared than trying to figure out all the details in the moment!
Equipment and Gear
Now that you’ve decided on your location and general layout, the next step is filling your special space with all the fundamentals of a bonafide dungeon.
When asked about essential equipment for a dungeon Pim said “I wanted a spanking bench and St. Andrew's Cross for sure, and then after that I figured I could get a bit creative with the larger pieces. I had wooden stocks custom made, also a gorgeous leather swing, and I'm waiting on a CBT chair as well. I have a winch with three suspension options, which I consider a bit unique.”
What you purchase for your space is going to depend entirely upon your kinks, fetishes, and play practices. Some general items that most BDSM dungeons include are bondage equipment like restraints and ropes, impact toys, and maybe some larger installments.
Now, let's get a little more specific about the bondage equipment you'll need for your dungeon.
Cuffs may be better for newer folks as they ensure that it’s not too tight or cutting off circulation which is a great concern when using rope. Try to get restraints that have a quick release option because they are the safest.
If you opt for rope, you'll need to think about the materials you'll prefer such as cotton, hemp, jute, and nylon. Make sure to learn proper knots and technique to ensure everyone is playing as safe as possible. Always have safety shears and a sailor’s tool with a marlin spike as they are the best tools to have on hand in case of a bondage emergency. Regularly inspect all rope for wear and tear.
When it comes to suspension gear like a rig, ring, carabiners, etc, please make sure that you're researching the equipment thoroughly before you make a purchase. Also, be sure the people who will be using this gear have the proper training and education. Rope suspension can be one of the more dangerous types of play.
Impact play is one of the more common and populars forms of BDSM play so having a variety of implements for delivering impact in your dungeon is a good idea. Floggers are a beloved toy for many folks and it’s a great place to start. They are typically made with materials such as leather, suede, silicone, and rubber. Paddles are a more traditional type of toy and can be made from wood, leather, silicone, and acrylic. When playing with paddles, make sure that the edges are smooth so you don’t inadvertently break someone’s skin open.
Maybe you’re not into the heavier forms of BDSM but just want to explore sensory play. Some items on your shopping list might be a blindfold and a wartenberg pinwheel. Blindfolds are a popular sensory deprivation tool as it’s fairly simple to use and holds little risk. Make sure they aren’t too tight because you don’t want to cause pressure on the eyes or head. The wartenberg wheel was once a tool used in doctor’s offices to test sensation but kinksters have adopted it because it offers just a light prickly touch.
Some larger pieces to include in your BDSM dungeon might be a St. Andrew’s cross, a spanking bench, a bondage table or bed, and maybe a cage.
A St. Andrew’s cross is typically a sturdy wood or metal frame that is securely anchored to the wall or floor. It must be checked regularly for stability to avoid unwanted injuries. Usually, people get attached to the four points of the cross with cuffs or other forms of bondage, but it can be used without someone being anchored.
Spanking benches come in a variety of forms so you’ll want to do some research to see what might be most comfortable for you or your lover(s)/play partner(s) and what will fit into your space. They’re often padded with non-porous leather or vinyl built on a sturdy wood or metal frame. Make sure there are no sharp edges and that it’s stable during use.
A bondage bed or table may be beneficial if your space is big enough because it offers a spot for people to lay down, eliminating the risk of falling over and getting injured. They are often heavy-duty and padded with several tie-down points. You might want to use a waterproof blanket like a Liberator Fascinator Throw to protect what’s underneath from any bodily fluids.
When purchasing equipment and furniture for your dungeon, be sure to consider weight limitations! This is a crucial part of keeping everyone who visits your dungeon safe.
Construction and Setup
Some people will stick with the original construction of the space they're using, not doing much to alter it. However, others will start with a space that needs a lot of work to transform it into the BDSM dungeon of their dreams. To get more insight into the construction and setup processes, I spoke with Horror Daddy J, who has been a union carpenter for 18 years.
He said “before beginning, check the codes in your area, especially if you live in a historical district. Any major construction or alterations may require permits with the city or township.”
If you’re renovating space in an older home, check what the walls are made of because if it’s built before the 1980s there could be asbestos in the walls and there is a whole process when dealing with that.
Pim suggested “[installing] a new floor that would be easy to clean,” which can be super important if you foresee your dungeon's floor being exposed to a lot of bodily fluids. Horror Daddy J suggested that ‘tile or finished hardwood would be best for your dungeon space.”
Invest in a stud finder to find secure anchor points in your walls, and mark them with painters tape. In the ceiling, you’ll need to find the rafter or joist, depending on if you’re in the basement or another room of the house.
If you need more support for your equipment, Horror Daddy suggested, "Add blocks to go in between the rafter or joist. Sandwich the beam with another block of the same size lumber so instead of one piece, you’re using three to support the weight. But it will have to run the full length of that section otherwise it’s only strengthening that one spot and you could have another weak spot down the length of it.”
You’ll definitely want to reinforce walls and ceilings where heavy equipment will be mounted.
Unless you have the expertise to install all your BDSM equipment and furniture yourself, Lady Pim suggested, “Get professionals to do it. The last thing you want is for someone to hurt themselves on your equipment because it wasn't installed or assembled correctly.”
If you want or need to soundproof your space, that will jack up your budget quite a bit. If you don’t have a huge budget for that or you don’t want to renovate the walls, Lady Pim offered this soundproofing hack:
“Add a lot of fabric, like rugs, foam, and curtains. I keep music on during sessions, and luckily there were fans in the washrooms and kitchen that could be turned on for a bit of added sound dulling.”
If you do want to go the route of renovating for soundproofing, you could use spray foam in the walls. This method has the added bonus of keeping the temperature regulated in the space. For the super budget option, get some soundproofing foam and attach it to the walls with velcro.
Finally, consider your lighting options and the ambiance you want to create. I definitely recommend color changing bulbs because they allow you to coordinate the lighting and ambiance with the theme of the night or whatever mood you’re in. If you are looking to make any changes to lighting fixtures themselves, definitely enlist the help of a licensed professional.
Safety Measures and Protocols
Safety is not a step to skimp on when creating a haven for BDSM activities. If you aren’t available at all times while the space being used, you may want to create a waiver that folks have to sign where you are not responsible for any injuries or mishaps that take place.
Pim offered, “I have a roster of trusted professionals in the rental rotation, but I didn't want my space to be inaccessible to civilians who want a play space. I give a brief tour, which includes training on the necessary equipment and proper sanitization procedures. I show them emergency exits, where the first aid kit is, and where the safety scissors are.”
When offering an introduction to your space — either to new partners, play partners, your community, or the general public — you should emphasize the importance of consent and negotiation prior to starting activities. If your space is going to be used by folks other than you for larger parties, consider employing the use of dungeon monitors who can watch the participants to make sure everyone is abiding by the rules, including photo policies.
Emergency plans should be clearly written and posted so all who enter know what to do if an incident occurs. Make sure everyone knows where the First Aid kits and fire extinguishers are and that they're easily accessible. To make your BDSM dungeon even safer, you might want to include an eye wash station or a portable eye wash station, just in case. All sorts of things can happen in a dungeon.
Maintenance and Upkeep
Though having your own personal BDSM playspace is incredibly rewarding, it can be a bit overwhelming, especially when you consider the maintenance and upkeep required.
The first obstacle a lot of folks run into is where and how to store, organize, and care for all the toys and gear their dungeon requires when they're not in use.
Don’t worry, Lady Pim provided these pro tips: “Like materials are stored together, for instance silicone toys are only stored with other silicone. Like colours are also stored together to prevent transfer. Anything longer that might be creased is hung on racks, for instance floggers or whips. Metal is sanitized and then dried thoroughly to prevent rust. Rope is wrapped properly after every use. Leather is conditioned regularly. Latex is washed and powdered before storing. Anything glass is kept in its original packaging.”
Hard cases or soft fabric pouches may be beneficial for more delicate items and silicone toys that are stored together. It may be a good idea to consider climate control for your space, not just so everyone is comfortable, but also for your toys and gear. For example, leather can crack if it’s dried out or mold if it’s too humid!
You'll also need to make a schedule for regular maintenance and upkeep for all of your toys and gear. Everything needs to be inspected regularly for wear and tear. Repair or replace any damaged items promptly and remove them from use. This includes regularly inspecting furniture for loose bolts or joints.
A rigorous cleaning and disinfection schedule is essential as well. All toys and gear should be cleaned after every use by using disinfectants like Cavicide, which is a hospital-grade cleaner that kills just about everything. Be sure to wear gloves when using Cavicide or Cavi-wipes as these disinfectants can harm the skin. Ensure that everyone who uses the space is following cleaning protocols. This helps protect everyone from infections and germs, especially sexually transmitted infections.
The Bottom Line
As you consider building your very own BDSM dungeon, take a moment to appreciate the intricate balance between creativity and structure, passion and safety. By crafting a place where your fantasies collide with reality, remember you are building more than just walls and equipment but rather an environment that reflects your deepest desires.
From initial designs and deliberate planning to the construction and safety protocols you’ve put in place, you’ll have transformed a blank canvas into your vision of a pleasure sanctuary.
I know it can be exciting to dive right in the second everything is complete, but remember to stop and have conversations about how to engage in safe and consensual play. Once that's done, enjoy your space to the absolute fullest!
