Tips, Toys & Advice: How to Have Fulfilling Sex in a Wheelchair

While able-bodied people often wonder if a wheelchair diminishes sex, those of us in a wheelchair know differently. Sex in your wheelchair can be everything and anything you might desire from sex: passionate, intimate, rough, silly, kinky, spontaneous … the list is as varied as your desires. And there are a lot of possibilities. If you’re looking to expand your bedroom repertoire, here are a few suggestions for sex in a wheelchair that you might not have thought of - as well as a few ways to introduce toys to take sex in your chair to the next level.

Great Positions for Wheelchair Sex

People might assume that a wheelchair limits the positioning options for sex, but the range of positions you can attempt in a wheelchair is delightfully long. Start by exploring some of the classics—most can work perfectly well in a wheelchair with just slight adaptations.

Reverse Cowgirl Position

This classic takes on a new level of intensity when your partner can bounce on you with the added stability of your chair. Your partner can position themselves on your lap, facing forward, with their feet and legs tucked under them, into the seat of the chair around your legs. With your brakes on your partner can use the support of the wheels to ride you - gentle or rough.

Face-Off Position

Sometimes also called “The Lap Dance,” this position is great for slowly building to an enormous climax. Have your partner sit on your lap and wrap their legs around your waist, with their feet on the wheels or tangled around the back of the chair. This is a wonderful position for deeper penetration and it fosters a real sense of intimacy as the sex is face-to-face, chest-to-chest, belly-to-belly.

Shoulder Holder Position

In this position, your partner stands in front of your chair as they would if you were sitting on the edge of a bed, and then lifts your legs up and rests them on their shoulders. This position is fantastic for deep penetration and G-spot stimulation. If you back your chair up near a door or wall, you can get that authentic banging-into-the-headboard experience (but maybe bring a pillow too, eh?).

Seated Wheelbarrow Position

Your partner, facing forward and with their hands planted on the ground or a footrest, positions their pelvis over your lap and wraps their legs behind the back of your chair. Guide yourself into your partner by gripping their hips and cheeks, controlling their motion.

Oral Sex

A wheelchair is a fantastic spot for oral sex, offering comfort for you and easy access for your partner. Rest your legs over both sides of your chair and move your hips to the edge of the seat. In this position your legs will remain spread wide, giving your partner the ability to explore and play wherever their mouth desires.

The Hot Seat Position

Move to the edge of your chair and have your partner sit on your lap, with their legs and feet over yours. Your partner can use the armrests or wheels for support, and control the angle, speed, and depth of your sex.

Getting Into Position

Positioning aids can make both classic and more exotic sexual positions more stable and accessible during wheelchair sex, and even help you think up new options. A doggie-style strap can be used for a variety of wheelchair positioning needs. In the Face-Off example above - where your partner has wrapped their legs around your waist and the back of the chair - you can use the strap to help guide your partner’s rhythm as they grind into you. It could also provide a sturdier handhold for the Seated Wheelbarrow. A sex sling will make the Shoulder Holder position much easier because it will help keep your legs in place against your partner’s shoulders. You can easily wrap the sling around your neck or the back of your chair.

And speaking of wrapping things around your chair ...

Toys and Restraint Play Ideas for Wheelchair Sex

Beyond positioning aids, restraints and other toys can give you even more options for positions and wheelchair sex activities. The right toy will let you play with your partner (and they with you), and can be useful if you have difficulty controlling your hands or legs (or if you can find it a challenge to hold your hands or legs in one position).

• Lock your feet in place. Some wheelchair users enjoy linking their feet with leg restraints. For a toy with even more support, try a spreader bar and cuffs. With either toy, you can keep your backrest up or position the backrest down if your chair gives you that option - follow your own level of comfort. Slide your hips to the front of the seat and have your partner face your chair, and then position your legs over your partner’s head and rest them around their shoulders. This will keep your feet linked together over your partner’s head. It’s an ideal position not only for vaginal and anal sex, but also for all kinds of vaginal and anal play.
  • For added fun… Think about combining a spreader bar with a strap-on or an anal explorer kit. Place your restrained legs over your partner’s shoulders as they stand in front of your chair, and they will be able to explore a number of angles and positions with their strap-on.
• Make use of those wheels. Restraint toys like door cuffs and a leash and collar set make it easy to play off of the wheelchair’s natural mobility. You and your partner can take turns leading one another to, from, and around the bedroom. Or your partner can cuff your arms to a door as they play with your nipples or perform oral on you.
• Give them something else to ride. A thigh strap-on is a perfect toy for all kinds of fulfilling wheelchair sex. The partner using the wheelchair - and the strap-on - should slide forward to the front of the seat, giving their standing partner as much access to the thigh with the dildo while still supporting the leg with the chair. Some wheelchair users even like to wrap the thigh strap-on around a pillow for self-pleasure while they are in the chair - whether alone or while with a partner.
• Your chair can be a toy all by itself! If you’re able to get out of your chair, let your partner climb in the seat as you perform oral, attach nipple clips, or fit a cock ring snugly onto them. Not everyone is lucky enough to sex atop a throne of wheels, and it’s really a practice we need to share more.

There are endless options for exciting and inventive sex in a wheelchair. It takes exploration and communication, but what good sex doesn’t? To incorporate your wheelchair into sex you only need an open mind and a willingness to experiment to find the combination of positions, toys, and restraints that gives you the best sex on wheels.

This piece was originally posted on Sportsheets.com. It has been reprinted here with permission.