Sometimes we take sex WAY too seriously! As an intimacy coach, I have helped many couples reignite their sex lives, and one thing I’ve observed time and time again is that we can all benefit from having a little more fun, especially in the bedroom.
In this guest post, Intimacy Coach Magda Kay explains how to use bedroom games to deepen your connection with your partner... and have some fun!
Many of us lead busy and stressful lives, and it can be hard to leave all that stress outside the bedroom door. And sometimes, if we’ve been with our partner(s) for a long time, our sex lives can become routine and stagnant, even boring.
Keeping the passion alive in our relationships is completely possible, and introducing novelty and excitement is the way to do it! Introducing more play in the form of playing bedroom games with your partner is a great way to keep things interesting. It's also a great way to receive more of what you really want, especially if you've had trouble expressing your fantasies or new things you'd like to try due to embarrassment or fear of rejection.
The bedroom can be a playground, a place for us to be our true selves, and to enjoy our partners. Our intimate lives can be a place for us to play, experiment, get curious and let go of our inhibitions. And being more playful can actually allow you to be more vulnerable with your partner, which will build intimacy and trust between you.
So, I’m pleased to share my top five bedroom games with you. I hope you give them a try, and bring some lightness, fun and, in turn, pleasure into your sex life!
1. The Sexy Wish List
I love this bedroom game, because it’s a fun way to let your guard down and express some of your deepest desires and fantasies to your partner without any pressure or shame.
To begin, each of you writes a wish list of 10-20 sexual things you would like to receive from your partner on a piece of paper. Cut the paper so each wish is its own little piece of paper, and place them in a jar or a box. Then give your vessel of wishes to your partner.
Next, surprise your partner by granting one of their sexy wishes within the next week. Try to get creative with this. You could plan and prepare something special for your partner, or even catch them off guard when they least expect it!
To add to the novelty, you can choose a day of the week to be the "wish day." On that day, you'll each select a wish from the jar, keeping it a secret, and plan how to make your partner's wish come true.
This game allows both of you to receive something you really want, and the element of mystery and anticipation builds up the sexual excitement and tension throughout the week. Imagine how much you'll both look forward to getting your wishes granted!
2. The Alphabet Game
This bedroom game takes no preparation, meaning it can be played any time you want to bring a little creativity into your sex life.
Partner A silently goes through the alphabet in their head, and partner B tells them to “stop” at random. Partner A then reveals which letter they were at. For the next few minutes, partner B must pleasure partner A with an act which corresponds with that letter.
This is a chance for you to use your imagination to come up with all kinds of fun. For example, K could be "kiss," L for "lick," M for "massage," N for "naked," O for "oral," P for "pe…" You get the idea! Don't limit yourself to these suggestions, though. Come up with whatever you want!
Once Partner A has received their pleasure, it's partner B's turn to pick a letter and receive all the pursuant pleasure.
The Alphabet Game can be drawn out and played through multiple "turns," going back and forth between you as a form of foreplay. Or you may want to play a quick round spontaneously to connect with each other for a few moments.
You could also easily play this game with multiple partners as well, each taking a turn to be the one receiving pleasure from the other players.
3. Taking Things Public
Role play is a fantastic way to get out of your head and break any stagnant energy in your relationship. Although it may feel a bit daunting at first, I encourage you to leave your ego at home and give this a try. The more you practice role playing, the easier and more fun it will become. Again, this is a chance for you to explore your imagination and welcome play and novelty into your sex life.
For this bedroom game you and your partner can construct a scene, with each of you playing a character, and go somewhere public to play it out. Although this will inevitably end in the bedroom, make sure you start the scene in a public place. You’ll both be out of your comfort zone and this will build the excitement.
You might be two strangers meeting in a bar, or perhaps a couple on a blind date, for example. Spice things up by playing with power dynamics such as a teacher and their student, or a boss and their employee.
This game gets really fun and juicy once you build your confidence and get creative with it. The world is your oyster! Try out all different kinds of characters and scenarios. Use this game to play out your fantasies, and who knows, you might even develop some alter egos that stick!
4. Awaken Your Senses
This is a trusted favourite to fully engage with your partner and get all your senses fired up!
Start by blindfolding your partner and making sure they are sitting/laying in a comfortable position. With no sense of sight, their other senses will be heightened. Begin to slowly play with their smell, taste, hearing and touch.
Take your time to awaken each sense. Maybe feed them some of their favourite aphrodisiac foods, like decadent chocolate or sweet strawberries. Use essential oils to fill the room with relaxing or energizing aromas, play a sexy soundtrack, or even whisper some dirty talk softly into their ears.
Once these senses have been engaged, your partner will most likely be yearning for some touch. Save this sense for last, and slowly build it up by first starting with soft touch, maybe with some feathers or silk. You may want to eventually start to kiss, lick or massage their body.
This is a very sensual way to bond with your partner, and I’m sure you'll enjoy being on the giving end just as much as you enjoy being on the receiving end!
5. A Walk on the Wild Side
And finally, we have an exciting bedroom game that allows you to really let loose and bring out your inner wild animal. This is a chance for you to tap into your inner passion and desire.
In this game, you and your partner literally play like animals. Scratch, pounce, or playfully "attack" one another, biting a licking encouraged! Maybe one partner "hunts" the other around the room or house. Again, use your imagination and be free with one another.
This can be a great game for foreplay, to build up sexual desire and let your guard down in a fun way.
This game can feel a little silly, but allowing yourselves to be silly with each other is a great way to build trust and intimacy. Give it a try and let your wild side out!
Be Safe, and Have Fun!
I hope these bedroom games give you some inspiration for bringing more fun and playfulness into your sex life. Experiment with one or all of them, and if you're loving the vibe they create, maybe try coming up with your own bedroom games that incorporate your special bond!
