It's April 16th, and you know what that means! It's a great time to revisit sexual pleasure and give it the care, focus, creativity, and time it needs to really flourish.
But wait...why is April 16th so special?
If it's something people love, there's probably a national holiday for it, and being horny is no exception!
Every year, National Horny Day happens on April 16th!
This informal holiday got its start around 2019 as a social media holiday. To celebrate, people were encouraged to post things that revolved around sex. For the average person, this might look like posting puzzling memes that call you "dirty" for seeing a pair of breasts instead of two ceiling lights. For people who are more comfortable sharing their bodies, this might include posting nude or erotic photos of themselves.
You can join in the social media depravity — or you can dive deeper into the holiday as a great excuse to jump-start your sex life.
"National Horny Day? Well, that sounds cool. But how do I DO anything about it?"
Well, I have just the idea for you. Take this awesome day and draw it out to 14 different days — each complete with their own sexual challenge to make National Horny Day as sexy and fun as possible.
In fact, I'm making it even easier by including the challenge right here in this article. Each day has its own challenge. There are options for solo folks or folks who would like to include their partner. It's entirely up to you!If you want to undertake the challenge, though, remember that everyone has their own way to celebrate National Horny Day. I know you're dedicated to this challenge, but if you have a partner, they may not have the same available time that you do. That's why every day of this sex challenge can be done solo — but each day also includes an optional way you can also include a partner if they're available.
If doing it duo is an option, I'd definitely recommend it. Taking the time to think, talk, and explore each other in no-pressure situations can be a great way to feel closer to one another. (You might even find that these 14 days feel more romantic than the Horny Day itself!)
So let's do this thing!
It's hard to figure out what you might want to change about your sex life if you haven't given it a second thought. After all, you're taking this sex challenge for a reason. What is it? Are you wanting something in your sex life that you don't feel like you have? Have you been craving something lately?
Don't just focus on the negative, though. What is good about your sex life? Even if you're hard on yourself (I'm the same way!), you can at least look at how proactive you are in undertaking this challenge in the first place.
Take 15-20 minutes to think this through; if you're comfortable with it, consider writing it down. Our desires can be so fleeting sometimes that looking back in 6 months and seeing if you still feel the same way can be neat.
With a Partner: You can do this challenge with a partner too!
When doing this exercise with a partner, try to focus on positive statements and active ideas that you can put into play within the month to fulfill some of those cravings. This means that your sharing may look like: "I've really been desiring more naked snuggle time with you; I love your body pressed on mine" instead of "I don't feel like we touch each other enough."
Since that can be hard to come up with on the fly, you both might want to take 5-10 minutes individually before coming together for the full discussion. This can give you some time to reflect on your desires while refining the idea enough that you can frame it well for your partner.
If you're like most people, most of the touches you give yourself are probably focused on a specific task like washing your body, achieving orgasm, using the restroom, or putting on clothing.
What would happen if you gave yourself a massage? What if you touched your body for the sake of touching it without a goal in mind?
That's today's challenge: make your body feel good for the sole purpose of making it feel good.
While massage is a go-to for many (foot massage, anyone?), massage may not be your jam. If not, consider a relaxing stretching session where you move and stretch your body in whatever ways make you hum with pleasure. This is all about what feels good for you.
Try to set aside 15 minutes today to simply exist in your body and touch it to make it feel good — for no other reason than making yourself feel good.
With a Partner: Take the same idea — and apply it to touching your partner! This may look like a partnered yoga stretching session or taking turns giving each other massages.
Remember, though: the idea is to make the other person feel good — not to use these messages as a segue into sex. You have the rest of the challenge to focus on sex, so enjoy this light sexual tension while you can.
Real estate experts say, "Location matters!" and that phrase applies just as often to sex experts. If you always pleasure yourself in the same location, your brain gets used to that location — and you'll lose out on the thrill that simply picking a new spot can provide.
Instead, today, you're going to try masturbating in a new space. You can get as adventurous as you want (in the car in your garage, maybe?) or keep it within the confines of your home.
Some ideas:
With a Partner: Location matters for partnered sex, too! Today, try a new spot for pleasure. Bonus points if you use this excuse for a bit of spontaneous, unexpected pleasure.
If you don't have time for full-on sex today, a hot make-out session would totally count. It's all about trying new things, exploring your sexuality, and connecting with each other.
If you're a sexual person, we all have things that make us feel turned on - or at least open to the idea of sex. Your brain might instantly jump to adult movies, but that's a really limiting way to look at it - and a lot of people are turned off by commercial pornography!
Instead, think about all of the different experiences you've had that might have left a slight tingle in your body. Did you read an erotic story? Was it a sex scene in a movie theater after 2 hours of sexual tension between the main characters? Was it a simple Tweet that got your mind racing? Was it the way a villain captured a hero in a cartoon or movie? Maybe it's the way that a song's baseline makes you want to move — or maybe the song reminds you of a previous sexy situation, and that gets you going. Does listening to someone's voice tell you about their hottest experience get you going?
Once you have an idea of what types of content get your brain in that sexual space, you can try to seek it out. This can become a sexual superpower all on its own. Each time you think you might want to play, you can seek out these sexy triggers for your brain, putting you in a mental space where the sexual tension has already started building — whether you're going out for date night or staying in to masturbate to a special idea that won't leave you alone.
Your challenge today is to think about what those erotic triggers are for you — and try to seek out a few new ones to test your hypothesis. Do you think these will be easy ways to get your brain to "think sexy" in the future?
With a Partner: Complete the same challenge, but when you're done, share your "results" — even if you only have some vague guesses.
Knowing what content turns your partner on can be a treasure trove of information. Even if you aren't comfortable watching the same porn movie together, knowing what your partner finds sexiest can help you figure out how to best share yourself with them.
For example, if you know your lover burns hottest when they're listening to audio, you might consider recording yourself reading that erotic story you wrote for them. If you know that a simple Tweet gets them going, you might text them a short, two-sentence fantasy you've been thinking about and let them fill in the blanks. If you know that "mainstream" movies with a lot of sexual tension are their jam, you might go on a streaming hunt to find a new TV show you both can watch together.
Do you regularly work your pelvic floor? These are those powerful muscles that contract during pleasure and orgasm — so I promise, making them stronger can make a difference in your sex life. (They also have other benefits like reduced bladder leakage!)
Today, you're going to work your kegel muscles. You do that by simply squeezing those muscles as hard as you can. It's the same contraction you do to flex the biceps or your chest — only lower!
If you're not sure where your kegel muscles are, try stopping the flow of urine next time you're taking a potty break. Those are the same muscles you need to squeeze (but don't do your kegels while you're peeing! The body doesn't like that so much).
Try to do at least 30 squeezes today when you're out of the bathroom. Feel free to swap the tempo and take breaks to keep it fun.
With a Partner: "Working out" with your partner doesn't have to mean hitting the gym! Instead, your kegels are a "workout" you can do together from home.
Agree to the same cadence (or listen to an online video that instructs you both to do it at the same pace!). To up the connection potential, you can do this while facing one another and trying to maintain eye contact (that's hard mode!).
If you'd like to add some playfulness to this challenge, consider some additional props to make it fun. Kegel balls can be slid inside of a vagina to offer additional sensation and a physical "prop" to play with. A washcloth can be draped over an erect penis to offer additional weight and a different visual while doing your Kegels.
Have you tried lube before? If not, it's time. These bottles of slick, slippery lubricant make everything feel better. Even if your body makes its own lubrication, adding a bit extra can make everything slide around so much better - especially if you're using sex toys or going for a marathon session.
If you're going to explore anal play, lube is must too! The butt doesn't make its own lube, and the tissues of the bum are very delicate and prone to tearing with dry, forced penetration. Lube is a must-have for any type of anal penetration, and it feels fantastic for external rubbing on the anal entrance too!
You can always pick up a bottle of lube from Kinkly Shop (and they're transparent about what's in each bottle!), but if you're in a hurry, most drugstores and grocery stores now carry a small selection of lube, too.
Your challenge for today is to give a sex lubricant a try. I highly recommend a water-based lube as it's an all-purpose lube for anything you want to use it with. Try adding a little bit to your fingers before masturbation and add more as desired.
If you've already tried lube before, I'd challenge you to try a new type of lube. If you've always stuck to water-based, give silicone-based a try (not near your favorite silicone sex toys though!). If you've always tried standard lubes, consider a warming or cooling lube if your body isn't sensitive to ingredients. If nothing else, try a new brand to see if you like it better!
With a Partner: Lube is for lovers too! Lube can be even more important for partnered sex. Not only does it help facilitate faster, fluid penetration, but it's also a must-have when quickies or marathon sex are on the docket.
Today, add some lube to whatever partnered play you have in mind. This might be some play with your hands, a flavored lube for oral sex, or some full-on intercourse. Work with how much time you have available!
Now that you've strengthened those muscles and tried some lube let's explore the magical areas within your body.
Your body likely has a g-spot or a p-spot — the Grafenberg spot and the prostate, respectively. However, unlike the clitoris and the penis, both of these nerve-packed areas are located inside of the body, and you'll need penetration to best pleasure these spots.
But don't worry! Educators and toy manufacturers are very aware of how pleasurable these spots can be, and there are a lot of resources out there to help you stroke these ultra-orgasmic spots.
If you're trying to hit your p-spot (which is the most likely option for penis owners), you'll want to slide a dildo or your fingers into the bum, curling them towards your belly button. Feel for an area that feels soft, rubbery, and smooth. It may feel different than the surrounding tissue, and it may make your body jolt in surprise at the different sensations.
If you're trying to hit your g-spot (which is the most likely option for vagina owners), you'll want to slide a dildo or your fingers into the vagina, curling them towards the belly button. Find an area that feels a little thicker, firmer, or ridged than the surrounding area. If you're really turned on, it may be swollen compared to the surrounding tissue.
As always, stimulating any erogenous zone is easier when you're turned on, and I recommend spending some time today to arouse yourself before going into this challenge.
If you don't find your "spot" today, don't fret. You've been running on a sexual "high" for the last seven days, and your body may be feeling a bit worn out from all of the attention. It's much easier to find the G-spot or P-spot when you're turned on, and getting really turned on becomes easier with a bit of sexual build-up. Instead of getting frustrated, read some of the extra resources below (there's a lot out there about the g-spot and p-spot!) and revisit this after the challenge. It's all about the journey!
With a Partner: I recommend people find their G-spot or P-spot alone. With a partner, there can be social pressure — even if you have the most understanding lover on the planet — to let this journey end in "success" for them. It can also be hard to mentally focus on yourself to "feel out" where your internal spots are. You might not know this, but it can take people a long time to find their G-spot or prostate!
Instead, if your lover would like to participate in today's challenge, encourage them to read up on the g-spot or p-spot (for themselves or you!) for future playtime. They might even take this excuse to try and find their own spot for themselves!
In the future, when you go on this adventure together, you'll be better equipped with a bit of knowledge to help guide them along the way.
Doing the same ol' thing will get you the same ol' experiences. That's why novelty is so darned important in your sex life. If you want things to feel "exciting," you have to give your brain new things to get excited about!
That's why, today, you're going to try a new sex position! Sex positions aren't just for coupled intercourse; they're for solo masturbation, too. There are hundreds of ways you can twist your body while still pleasuring yourself. Have you explored them all?
Today, try a new masturbation sex position. If you normally do it lying down, try sitting up. If you haven't tried laying on your stomach, try that. There's always up against a wall, lying on your side, or curled into a comfortable fetal position. If you start adding in sex furniture, you'll find even more options available to you! (Look at some of our favorite sex furniture sex positions!)
With a Partner: We're pretty sure you can figure out how to make this one a two-person activity. ;) Invite your partner to try a sex position challenge with you. Just make sure they like the look of the new position, too! (Browsing the Kinkly Sex Position Database together to mark out your favorites can be a great foreplay activity!)
Have you heard of "edging"? Today, you're going to get a first-hand experience of this unique way to masturbate within this sex challenge.
"Edging" is the cutesy name kinksters have given the idea of taking yourself up to the "edge" of orgasm — and then choosing to cease stimulation, allowing your body to come back down.
This allows you to ride the intense rollercoaster of pleasure, constantly getting near the highest peak but never quite toppling over that mountain. Especially for people who are "one orgasm and done" people, this can draw out the pleasure of sex or masturbation for a long, long time. (After a while, it can turn into "gooning," a meditative state for some.)
Edging isn't for everyone, though! If you have difficulty achieving orgasm in the first place, continually denying yourself can be angrily frustrating instead of playfully frustrating. Don't feel pressured into edging if you don't think it's for you.
If you think edging might be for you, today's challenge is to try it. Try to "edge" yourself to the edge of orgasm five times. If you're feeling particularly motivated, you might even consider abstaining from orgasm today to try a related kink: orgasm denial.
Try It with a Partner: You can "edge" with a partner! Today, choose one of you to edge and focus on pleasuring this person to the edge of orgasm — and then ceasing stimulation.
With another person involved (and potentially the source of the stimulation!), edging can be more difficult. Make sure to openly communicate how close to orgasm you are, and choose a method of stimulation that you can easily stop. (A vibrator without easy access to an off button, for example, may accidentally cause orgasm without the ability to pull it easily away from the body.)
I get it: "stereotypical" public play isn't for everyone. Exploring new places outside of your home can be hot, but it also comes with risks, and that risk profile isn't for everyone.
However, there are some very low-risk ways to explore the ideas of public play without necessarily putting yourself at risk.
Have you considered going to the park to read an erotic story on your phone? If the park scares you, what about reading that erotic story in the privacy of your car in the parking lot? What about wearing a non-vibrating butt plug to the grocery store? Does the idea of wearing skimpy lingerie underneath your clothes on a workday sound a little bit appealing?
"Public play" doesn't have to mean getting naked in your local grocery store and hoping for the best. Instead, try a discreet public play idea to try something new today.
(Some other, higher-risk ideas could include listening to audio porn on snug headphones, sexting someone, or trying to masturbate in a single-stall public restroom.)
With a Partner: You can take these same low-risk ideas and put them into play as a couple's sex challenge. Send each other naughty texts across the table over dinner at your local restaurant. While on the drive to the restaurant, the non-driving partner can read an erotic story aloud to the driver. On the romantic walk after dinner, you both can share a pair of earbuds to listen to audio erotica while you're walking.
Of course, the "quintessential" couple's public play idea includes remote-controlled vibrators and a willingness to share the remote, but you certainly don't have to go that far if you're not comfortable with it!
Today, try public play with your partner and see how you both feel about it!
You probably have a shower or bath in your home, but how often do you use it for sex? Today, we're going to change that.
Not only does water offer new pleasurable sensations, but it also offers a new location. How does your body feel when water is running along it? How does water feel on your ultra-sensitive, aroused skin compared to a standard Tuesday morning? Does the atmosphere — where nudity is required — make you feel sexier?
Many people also find freedom in the cleansing waters of their bathrooms. It can be easier to feel sexy when you're in the space you use to clean yourself.
Today, try a bit of self-pleasure in the shower or bath. You don't have to go all the way to orgasm, but I'd like for you to see how different things feel when you introduce water and a bit of a time limit (before that water gets cold!).
Aquatic sex can be polarizing. Some people love it, and some people hate it. Which side will you fall on? Well, you won't know until you try!
With a Partner
While intercourse in the water can be difficult and dangerous with the slickness and limited space, I'd challenge you to try simply bathing with one another. Use a soft washcloth or sponge, and take turns washing each other's bodies, finding out new things about how you prefer to clean yourselves.
If this turns into a bit more, great! If not, that's great, too! The intimacy and connection of sharing each other's private bathing rituals can be a powerful force to be reckoned with.
Sex toys and kink gear exist for one reason: to improve your sex and kink life. That's it. If you need a functional way to frame it, you can think of them like blenders. Yes, you could probably crush ice and mix things without a blender, but a blender can be a miracle in making things easier and more enjoyable.
If you haven't explored sex toys or kink gear, today's your day to give it a go. I know budgets don't always align with our desires, so today's goal is to look around and see what appeals to you. This can give you something to purchase in the future (when budgets allow!) and give you more insight into yourself. If you find yourself really drawn to a specific blindfold, it might be because you're excited to try it in the back of your mind.
Today, spend 10-20 minutes simply window shopping for sex toys or kink toys. Since Kinkly has our own curated selection of the best options (at a variety of price points!) at Kinkly Shop, we'd recommend starting there.
With a Partner: Window shopping with a partner can be just as fun! (It's even more fun when you "have" to like with this sex challenge for married partners). If you can, try to look at the same screen and discuss options that catch your eye while you're both scrolling. Large computer screens or TVs with Screen Share options from your phone can make one-screen viewing doable, but don't be afraid to snuggle up on the couch and swap phones back and forth.
Try to get some nice skin-on-skin contact while you're doing this shopping! It can be an additional way to feel close to your partner while exploring your future pleasure options together.
A blindfold is one of my favorite "intro to kink" items to recommend because so many people have one at home. Even if you haven't received a store-bought "spa" gift set with an included blindfold, a folded-over t-shirt, pants, or scarf can instantly become a DIY blindfold without hurting your clothing.
Today, even if you've tried a blindfold before, you're going to try it again. A) Because it's fun and B) because it can help you tap into your other senses even better.
Today, you're going to make a goal to pleasure yourself while blindfolded. Focus on how the sensations feel and the sounds your body naturally wants to make. Try to really tune into how touch feels, and let your hands wander around your body wherever you're craving more sensation.
If you're someone who's very visually oriented to reach orgasm, if you need to, feel free to remove the blindfold and find your favorite content. However, I'd recommend trying to challenge yourself and see if sensations alone (or fantasies, thoughts, or audio!) might get you there instead.
With a Partner: You may have tried blindfolds before, but have you tried two blindfolds? Welcome to today's sex challenge!
If you undertake this challenge with a partner, you will both wear blindfolds today. I recommend finding a stable, wide space where you won't accidentally roll off the edge of the bed; this may require laying on the floor.
While you both are blindfolded, explore each other's bodies. Try touching one another and finding your way around them by the feel of their body instead of the view of it. You'll also get a test run of thorough communication as the two of you try to reposition your bodies without accidentally elbowing someone.
Once you have the blindfolds on, see where pleasure takes you. This can be a great challenge for mutual masturbation. Without sight, all you can listen to are the soft sighs of your partner's pleasure. If your exploration takes you to intercourse or oral sex, though, enjoy the ride; it's all about exploring each other today.
This 14-day challenge probably has your erotic energy running high — and it's hard to want to give that up. Luckily, you don't have to.
Today's challenge is to come up with a plan to revisit this sexually-focused side of yourself regularly. I know that a new challenge every day is too much for most people, but can you come up with a monthly challenge for the rest of the year? (Feel free to steal some of your favorite days from this challenge. I don't mind!)
Making sure your sexuality (and your focus on it!) is a regular part of your life can help your sex life feel more fulfilling, and it can help you ward off problems before they happen.
Today, craft your plan, write it out, and brainstorm ways to ensure its success.
No matter what happens, I'm proud of you for completing this 14-day sex challenge. You're a rockstar.
With a Partner: Today's couple's sex challenge is to take 5-10 minutes to sit apart and think about what you'd like to do within the next year. I recommend writing it down for easy reference. Think about what's doable within your schedules, what emotions and sensations you'd like to feel, and what activities you'd like to explore more.
Once you've done that, come together and compare lists. Talk about what things are a "go" for both of you. Once you have that list, talk about where you can rearrange your time and priorities to make sure you both can experience these things. Especially with a busy family, I'd recommend a monthly goal, but you both know your lives better than I do.
The most important aspect, especially with a partner, is discussing where you'll get the time and energy. When you're planning solo, you only have to worry about yourself. With a partner, you both need to make sure your schedules are cleared to make this happen. So, set yourself up for success by planning the non-sexy things so that you can fit that sexy thing in.
