A blow job (aka BJ, fellatio, giving head, sucking off etc) is a form of oral sex wherein a sexual partner uses their mouth to stimulate the penis and surrounding area. While blow jobs are often referred to as “foreplay” they can be an extremely intimate act and are themselves a legitimate way to engage in partnered sex.
How to Give a Blow Job
The mechanics of a blow job can vary person to person or even day to day but the basics involve wrapping the mouth around the penis and engaging in an up and down motion to provide stimulation. That said, there are so many ways to provide enjoyable stimulation during a blow job.
Different oral techniques — including licking, kissing, and moving the head in different ways — can all change the sensation. Incorporating the hands, especially while utilizing lubricant can really take things to the next level. And don’t forget to stimulate ALL of the parts of the penis as well as the testicles.
“You can also use a flavored lubricant,” suggests Sofie Roos sexologist and couples therapist working at Swedish sex positive magazine Passionerad.
Roos also has some tips for folks who want to experiment with Deepthroating, a type of blow job in which the penis goes deep into the giver's mouth or throat.
“You must have a way of communicating when it’s getting too much for the one giving. Since the one having the penis in their mouth won’t be able to talk, you should have a signal such as tapping with the hands or shaking the head when it’s time to cool down.”
Blow Job Safety Tips
Folks can fall into the trap of thinking that oral sex is not “real” sex and thus doesn’t carry the same risks. Unfortunately, this is not true.
“Many people think it’s safe to perform, or receive, blow jobs without a condom, but that’s incorrect.” Roos explains.
While blow jobs don't carry the risk of pregnancy like vaginal intercourse does, STIs can be transmitted via oral sex, including blow jobs.
“If you’re not in a monogamous relationship and have tested and talked about STDs, then you should always use a condom when giving head to protect yourself, but also to protect the one receiving the blow job.”
