Cookie-Jarring refers to a dating behavior where someone keeps a romantic prospect "on the back burner" as a backup option, while they actively pursue a different relationship or partner. It’s essentially treating someone like a "just-in-case" option, using someone to fall back on if a current romantic interest doesn’t work out.
In the context of relationships, cookie-jarring can be emotionally harmful. The person being "jarred" often believes there’s potential for a deeper relationship when, in reality, they’re only being kept around for convenience or security. This behavior can lead to confusion, frustration, and feelings of being undervalued.
Cookie-jarring is considered problematic because it manipulates trust and creates an uneven dynamic in relationships. The person keeping someone as a backup may avoid being fully honest about their intentions, leading the other to believe that a committed relationship is on the horizon. This lack of transparency undermines trust and can be emotionally damaging, especially when the person realizes they’ve been used as a backup plan.
How to Spot Cookie-Jarring:
- The person avoids defining the relationship or giving clear signals about where it’s headed.
- They are inconsistent with communication or only reach out when their other romantic pursuits are unavailable.
- There’s a lack of commitment, even if they seem interested at times.
Addressing Cookie-Jarring:
The key to avoiding or resolving cookie-jarring is open communication. If you suspect you're being cookie-jarred, having an honest conversation about intentions, expectations, and the direction of the relationship is crucial. Prioritizing self-worth and ensuring that both parties are on the same page about their relationship goals can prevent emotional harm.
Like any behavior in dating, cookie-jarring highlights the importance of clear communication, mutual respect, and emotional honesty.
