Other people prefer attending swinger parties at adult clubs. Group sex at these events rarely involves emotional intimacy or connection as most participants do not know each other.
Online kink communities or sex groups can be an excellent way for anyone interested in group sex to connect with like-minded people.
Most people start small, with a threesome at someone’s private home or hotel, before working up to foursomes or moresomes in more public settings. Experimentation can help people figure out what type of group sex they enjoy, if any. This experimentation may include varying the number of participants and activities and exploring digital options such as VR group sex, which aims to provide an immersive experience via a virtual reality headset.
Group Sex Etiquette
Being considerate of all participants in group sex helps everyone have a good time. Some common group sex etiquette guidelines include:
- Shower and groom yourself before play.
- Play according to any house rules the organizer or host of a sex party sets.
- Respect the boundaries of all participants.
- Pay attention to all participants rather than focusing on one person to ensure no one feels left out.
- Don’t bring guests to events without asking permission.
Safety Tips for Group Sex
While group sex may seem more liberal than sex with a single partner, that doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all. Consent is vital to ensure every participant feels respected and safe. Consent and communication should be ongoing to ensure participants feel comfortable throughout the encounter. Agreeing on a safe word and signal can empower participants and help them withdraw consent at any time.
As the participants of group sex usually interact with more than one sexual partner, this type of sex carries a higher risk of sexually transmitted infections. Barrier methods like condoms, dental dams, and latex gloves can minimize the risk of infection. These barriers should be changed between each partner to prevent the spread of bodily fluids. People who regularly have group sex may like to get tested regularly to further reduce the risk to their partners and take PrEP to minimize the risk of contracting HIV. It can also be wise to take a COVID-19 test before any group sex party to minimize the risk of passing this virus on.
Aftercare can help participants feel safe and supported after group sex. This process may involve cuddling, talking about the experience and the emotions raised, and taking time to transition back to normality. Honest communication can help people navigate challenging emotions like jealousy or shame.
Careful planning can help organizers of group sex events keep their attendees safe.
“If you’re organizing your own event, then I'd say you should have a contract that people sign before they’re allowed to enter. Really, you should be interviewing people both via a pre-party online interview, and then again over Zoom or even in person before the event,” explained Emme Witt-Eden, a sex and kink expert and the author of "Confessions of a Middle-Aged F-Girl."
“You need to discern why they want to come to the party. What are their past experiences with events? (Do they have references?) How do they identify sexually? Who are they coming with? That, and I’d have them sign a contract with the rules of your event that stipulate the importance of consent. I’d also say it’s important to be clear about what kind of event you’re planning. The more you can describe the purpose of the party, while making your expectations for conduct known, the better you’ll be able to vet attendees and the fewer problems you’ll have.”
