Neopronouns are gender-neutral or nonbinary pronouns used by people who don’t identify with the traditional pronoun categories of he, she, and they. The term neopronouns literally translates to new pronouns.
Types of neopronouns and how to use them
Some of the most common neopronouns include:
- Ze, zir, and zirs
- Ze, hir, and hirs
- Xe, xir, and xirs
- Xe, xem, and xyrs
- Ve, vir, and vis
- E, em, and ems or eirs
- Ey, em, and ems or eirs
- Fae, faer, and faers
- Ae, aer, and aers
- Ne, nem, and nir
- Per, per, and pers
These neopronoun groups are organized into their subjective, objective, and possessive forms. Some sentences using neopronouns include:
- I’m so proud of Alex. Ze won a silver medal in the triathlon last weekend and broke zirs personal best.
- I finally asked xir to get coffee on Saturday morning. I don’t know why I waited so long because xe said yes!
- Ve said vis band is playing at the bar on the corner tomorrow night. I’m so excited to see vir play.
- Do you know Lee? I spent Sunday with faer and faers dog.
- I saw Chris yesterday and per told me about pers recent trip to Australia. Per went with pers partner Ziggy, and it sounded incredible.
People may identify using one set of neopronouns or many. They may also use a combination of traditional and neopronouns. Their pronouns, including neopronouns, may also change over time.
While the neopronouns above are common, neopronouns may also be individual to just one person. For example, someone might select a noun to describe themselves like “comet” or “cometself,” instead of “he” or “himself,” if it suits them best. This type of personalized neopronoun is a nounself neopronoun.
There are also emojiself pronouns, which are small digital icons used to represent someone. People use emojiself pronouns for online communication, so they’re not made to be pronounced. However, someone may have related emojiself pronouns and nounself pronouns. For example, they might refer to themselves as “heart” or “heartself” and have a corresponding heart emoji as their emojiself pronoun.
History
While the term neopronouns suggests these pronouns are new, that’s not true for all neopronouns. The concept of neopronouns originated several centuries ago when writers looked for new terms to describe subjects that didn’t assume their gender.
In the 14th century, the writer John of Trevisa used “a” as a neopronoun. In the 19th century, composer Charles Crosby Converse pioneered the use of the neopronouns thon and tho, two gender-neutral contractions of “that one.” Thon is one of the oldest pronouns still recognized today.
While the concept of neopronouns isn’t new, the term is. In the 2010s, academics within queer and trans circles began using the term. By 2017, it had gained traction outside these circles. Although the term neopronoun isn't in the Oxford English Dictionary yet, this publication added the neopronouns “ze” in 2018 and “zir” in 2019.
Modern neopronouns are mostly used to replace the names of trans, nonbinary, and gender-nonconforming people. However, they may be used to replace the names of any person, regardless of their gender identity.
How common are neopronouns?
A 2020 study from the Trevor Project found 4 percent of LGBTQ+ young people use neopronouns. They may use these pronouns exclusively or in combination with traditional pronouns.
“From my experience, folks don't use neopronouns as much as they used to like 10-15 years ago since using the singular they has become more widely used,” Kaleigh Cornelison, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in working with LGBTQ+ teens and young adults, told Kinkly.
Why use them?
Neopronouns allow people to self-identify when they don’t feel like traditional pronouns suit them. These pronouns offer many more options that give them greater freedom to identify themselves best.
“People choose these pronouns for themselves when they don’t want to connect to the established binary terminology and need more accurate wording to describe their gender identity,” Edward Reese, a gender and sexuality expert at Taimi and trans* non-binary activist, explained to Kinkly. “Neurodivergent people may prefer neopronouns because their perception of gender differs drastically from the neurotypical one.”
Using someone’s neopronouns shows you accept them as they are.
“Just as any person would prefer others to use their name, pronouns are essential and valuable,” Reese added. “Cisgender people who use pronouns of their assigned gender just don’t feel the importance of it. Neopronouns or singular 'they' can appear unusual, but we can get used to them if we want to be kind and respectful to others.”
The acceptance that using someone’s neopronouns provides can have a profound impact on their mental health and well-being. A 2024 study from The Trevor Project found transgender and nonbinary youth who surrounded themselves with people who respected their pronouns had nearly half the suicide rate of those whose pronouns weren’t respected. The same study also showed that 59 percent of LGBTQ+ young people felt respecting their pronouns was a key way to show support and acceptance.
When to use neopronouns
Using someone’s neopronouns after they share them is a sign of respect and acceptance.
“That's a part of their identity and it's extremely invalidating for someone to use the incorrect pronouns for anyone, neopronouns or not! I always tell folks that although it may seem like a small thing to you, it means a lot to the other person, so putting in that small amount of effort to get their pronouns right is worth more than you know,” Cornelison said. “Also, be sure to use their correct pronouns even when that person is not around, and correct others if they make a mistake.”
Some people may volunteer their neopronouns. It’s good etiquette to share personal pronouns with someone before asking for their pronouns. This practice creates a safe space which may help someone feel more comfortable sharing their pronouns. If someone shares that they use multiple groups of pronouns, asking whether they have primary or preferred pronouns is a good follow-up question.
Asking someone how they identify can be intrusive, especially if that person isn’t yet out about their gender identity. Some people may be unwilling to share their pronouns until they trust someone. It’s important to judge the situation carefully and respect the answer when asking this potentially sensitive question. Asking the question privately can also feel less intrusive than asking during a group conversation.
Sometimes people may forget to use someone’s neopronouns. Making mistakes is human. Gently correcting someone for the error can help them remember to use the right neopronoun in the future. Most people who use neopronouns to identify themselves will forgive any errors with a simple apology.
“If you made a mistake and used a wrong pronoun to a person, just quickly correct yourself and move on,” Reese added. “Trans and queer people don’t need extensive repentance sessions, and more so, they don’t need you to make it about yourself. Mistakes can happen, it’s no big deal. Pronoun proficiency will come to you sooner or later if you’re willing to learn. It might become a thing when you make the same mistake multiple times in a row. Then you should consider whether you are genuinely interested in being a good ally to this person with neopronouns.”
