The term squish refers to a strong desire to be close to another person in a manner that is not romantic. Someone who is experiencing a squish, which can also be referred to as a platonic crush, may find themselves experiencing a strong pull towards someone they want to be friends with or, if they are already friends with the individual in question, they may feel like they want to become closer to that individual.
Much like a romantic crush, a squish might include things like frequent thoughts of the person in question, a desire to be around that person, becoming embarrassed, nervous, or flustered, around the object of the squish, and even a feeling of wanting to be physically close with that person. That said, what makes a squish different from a romantic crush is that the person with the squish does not think about the other person as a possible romantic partner. Any emotional connection and physical closeness involved in a squish is not considered romantic in nature.
“Platonic attraction is based on admiration, as well as on a strong mental and emotional connection.” says Sara Sloan, LMFT, CST Couples and Sex Therapist at Austin Concierge Therapy “A regular crush includes admiration and erotic desire, as well as the occasional mental and emotional connection. The primary difference between a regular crush and a platonic crush is the presence or absence of erotic desire.”
The term squish can also be used to refer to any crush that is not of a romantic nature, including a desire to be in a queerplatonic relationship which is an intimate committed relationship that does not include a romantic component.
Squishes and Aromanticism
Squishes are commonly experienced by aromantic as well as other aro-spec individuals but the experience is neither exclusive to them, nor universally experienced by them.
Aromanticism is a romantic orientation in which one experiences little or no romantic attraction. The aromantic spectrum (aka arospec or aro-spec) covers a large range of different experiences and includes people who don’t feel any romantic attraction at all, people who feel romantic attraction only under specific circumstances, people who occasionally experience romantic attraction, and more.
Identities on the aromantic spectrum include but are not limited to:
- Aegoromantic individuals derive some pleasure from romance but have no but have no interest in being involved in a romantic relationship.
- Aroflux people may occasionally experience some level of romantic attraction but do not always wish to have their feelings reciprocated by the object of their attraction.
- Autoromantic people experience self-love as a romantic relationship.
- Biromantic individuals are attracted to individuals from more than one specific gender.
- Cupioromantic people don’t experience romantic attraction but they do experience the desire to be in a romantic relationship.
- Demiromantic individuals experience feelings of romantic attraction only if an emotional connection has developed.
- Greyromantic people may experience infrequent romantic attraction. They may also experience attraction with no interest in pursuing a relationship.
- Lithromantic individuals do not need to have their feelings reciprocated by the people to whom they feel attracted.
- Panromantic people experience romantic attraction based on who a person is, not their gender identity.
- Quoiromantic people are unsure of their romantic orientation. This might involve disdain for or confusion about romantic identities or a simple inability to identify one that fits them.
- Recipromantic individuals experience romantic attraction only for those who have already expressed attraction towards them.
