Do Swingers Have Better Sex? I Went on a Swingers’ Retreat to Find Out

My flight to Montego Bay was canceled – twice – due to storms along the Eastern Seaboard. Note to self: Don’t fly through Charlotte, N.C., during summer months. After some quick internet sleuthing, I was able to reroute myself on a SEA-DFW-MBY itinerary and arrive in Jamaica 30 hours later than planned with an overnight in Dallas.

All (OK, most) summertime travel stress melted away when I landed at Sangster International Airport and a Club Mobay concierge whisked me through customs to the comfort of their air-conditioned lounge and put a rum punch in my hand.

After two rum punches and a few finger sandwiches, I was collected by my shuttle service and on my way to Hedonism II in Negril, Jamaica, the granddaddy of nudist resorts.

An hour and a half later, I checked into my Premium Ocean View Au Natural room, high-tailed it to the Nude Pool bar for the last gasps of happy hour, then prettied up and slipped into something black, tight and sexy for Fetish Night.

I grabbed a pre-dinner cocktail at the main dining room bar to scope out the scene. Couples chatted with other couples. Flirtation appeared to lay the foundation for potential later play. It’s freeing to watch people have the space to flirt, touch and possibly fuck someone other than their significant other. As someone who practices consensual non-monogamy (CNM), whether I act on a feeling or not, the fact that I can at any time is highly exciting.

Hedonism II has been in the business of making sex-positive people happy since 1976. Whether you're a nudist, swinger or someone who merely likes to vacation on a gorgeous stretch of Caribbean beach, the resort offers sexy (and safe) environs for singles and couples to explore. People go to Hedonism from all walks of life and perspectives. Some couples go because they want to be in an adults-only, sexually-charged environment. In some cases, they never take their clothes off. That’s OK. Others come for the naked vibes and are strictly monogamous with their partners. That’s OK, too. Then, there’re those in the "lifestyle" (a.k.a. swingers), who are here to live out their fantasies - however mild or wild they may be.

Read: How I Became a Swinger

It’s hard to guesstimate what percentage of Hedonism’s guests are swingers. But during the week I was there, Young Swingers Week and AWOL (aka, Another Week of Lunacy) brought their sexy people (and antics!) to the resort. I’d guess that at least half the resort was open to or actively a part of the lifestyle. Although I was not part of either group, I interacted with them a fair bit. I paid close attention to guests. After all, I was here on a quest: I was looking to discover whether swingers had better sex.

The Stranger, an alternative weekly newspaper out of Seattle, recently published an article on the topic. It cited a study put out by the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. The gist? Researchers recruited monogamous and consensually non-monogamous (CNM) participants, then broke them down into groups, including those in open relationships or who practice polyamory or swinging. The individuals were then surveyed about sexual frequency and satisfaction. Self-identified swingers reported higher sexual satisfaction, higher rates of orgasm, and more frequent sex compared to the monogamous group.

I'm no scientist, but I'm a damn good observer. What I saw at Hedonism (at this as well as on previous visits) backs up the claim that swingers have better sex. At the very least, they have a whole lot of it.

I heard several stories of couples full-swapping (or having penetrative sex with someone other than their partner) for the first time, and such sexual exploration made my heart happy. More often, I saw couples soft-swapping, a term that can include a wide range of activities, from kissing and fondling to oral sex, depending upon a couple’s boundaries. I can’t speak to the sexual activity that took place behind closed doors (and I’m not going to kiss and tell about what went on behind mine), but I can tell you that the people at this retreat were enjoying some very hot contact.

After dinner the first night and the fetish show, I returned to my room to lose my dress, then headed to the Nude Pool for some late-night shenanigans. There, I saw young couples swapping partners, men and women tangled en masse in make-out/grope fests, and a gorgeous 60-something-year-old woman ride dick after dick in the hot tub. Sure, some couples sat on the sidelines and observed. The beauty is, whether you opt to engage or not, the experience of being there is intensely sexy. Things heat up at Hedonism after dark – from the nude pool to the playroom – so it makes sense that I saw a significant uptick in swinging later in the evenings. I wouldn’t say that swinging was a way of life for most of the guests. There seemed to be a lot of experimentation going on. The bigger draw, perhaps, was the acceptance of public sex. So, it's hard to say for sure if these swingers were having better sex. But it did seem like they were having more sex and social interactions than non-lifestyle guests. (I want to reiterate that a trip like this can be whatever you want it to be, without judgment, and there's no pressure for anyone to do anything they don't want to do.)

The following night, I talked with a young 20-something couple on their honeymoon. They'd never been on a vacation "like this" or identified as swingers. A few days in, they were having the time of their lives, had more than dipped their toes into the "lifestyle" – and liked it. All aglow, they vowed to return.

Another couple, easily in their 60s, were proud repeat visitors. I loved seeing them all decked out for the resort’s theme nights - boas, sequins and all - and flirting with other guests. They were clearly happy and confident in their marriage, and I appreciated the playfulness they brought to every interaction. They were an absolute delight to be around.

I’ve been writing about sex for a long time and I’m the keeper of countless people’s sex secrets – married, single and non-monogamous. From the scores of stories I’ve heard, it seems my non-monogamous friends (who are, in most instances, swingers) have the most frequent and varied sex. Is it better? I don’t know the actual nitty-gritty, between-the-sheets details. But everything I have seen at Hedonism II (and other lifestyle-friendly resorts) indicates that swingers have a lot of very hot sex. As long as all parties are consenting adults and there’s communication in place, a sexy, flexible romp can be an exciting way to enhance and explore your relationships and sexuality. Swap on!