Fruitful Fellatio: How to Give and Get at the Same Time

When it comes to oral sex, I never enjoyed 69. Multitasking has its place in life, but with sex I’d rather be able to soak up all of the delicious feeling from one activity before moving on to another. That’s just me. Plus, there’s no reason why you can’t suck cock for your own pleasure. As a matter of fact, if you’re going to suck cock, I highly recommend doing it precisely for that reason. The good news is that if you do it for your own pleasure, the owner of the cock will likely enjoy it too. That's right, the key to giving great oral sex is to get back as much as you are giving. (Oh, and just a heads up: this article is written from the point of view of a heteroflexible cis woman.)

So what are the best positions for owning that blow job and loving every minute of it? I have a few tips.

Read: The Ultimate Guide to Giving a Great Blow Job

Get Off on Your Sexy Self

My top two tips for having the best oral sex experience are to get off on your sexy self and to literally get off on your sexy self. Let me explain. Let’s imagine I happen to be wearing gogo boots, a push-up bra and a dress so short that when I get on my knees and start to spread my legs, my panties peek out as my dress rises up over my ass. That is hot - both for me and my partner. As I’m going to town on his cock, I can’t help but look up at him to see the pleasure on his face, to see him looking down at me and although I am focused on my work, alternating between licking up and down the shaft and taking him fully in my mouth, I am also focused on this image in my mind of how he sees me. This gets me hotter and wanting to please him all the more. It’s a win-win situation.

But you can literally get off too. Have him lie down on his back in bed, totally relaxed, totally open. You can then lie down next to him with your thighs wrapped around his lower leg . Here you can create a rhythm with your mouth and his hips moving towards you and whenever you feel the urge you give a squeeze of your thighs and push your clit against his shin bone. As long as he doesn’t mind a wet spot on his leg - which I can’t imagine he would, given that his cock is in your mouth - you’re all good.

Relish in the Sensations of Giving

To give is to receive, but when it comes to oral sex we often get so focused on our partners that we forget about what we are feeling. Which is a shame, because it might just feel really good. Our lips are densely packed with nerve endings and offer us lots of opportunity for intense waves of pleasure. Have you ever just let yourself be kissed by cock flesh? Close your eyes and feel the soft skin against your lips. Take a moment to inhale his scent. At some point you may be ready to take that whole cock inside and just suck with every cell in your body, but take your time. The head of the penis is the most sensitive part. Take the time to let your lips and tongue explore it before going for your deep throat moment. Wherever you decide to take it, take time to focus on the sensuality of the process and how touching him feels to you. Find touches that are pleasurable for you and relish in that pleasure.

Consider Control

There are other factors to consider. With him standing and you on your knees he has more control over the depth of penetration. This giving up of control may be a turn-on.

With him lying down or seated, you have more control. Maybe that's a turn-on on for you.

Another way you can control depth while giving him extra sensation is by using your hands at the base of the penis. You could apply some coconut oil or a flavored lube for extra slipperiness here too.

And don’t forget to play ball. Those testicles are sensitive. So don’t play rough (unless requested), but play with intention. You can cup them, stroke them gently, lick and suck, maybe taking them fully inside your mouth. Depending on your man’s comfort level with other body parts, you can let your tongue glide along the perineum and maybe, just maybe a little analingus if you’re both feeling it.

Read: How to Deep Throat

Don't Be Afraid to Get Messy

The first time I watched a woman giving head to a man I learned the secret of spit. She was down there for a while, her face buried in his lap, as he leaned back against the couch moaning. And when she finally came up for air, I must admit my first thought was she looked like a hot mess. Because she did. Her long hair was wet and matted to the side of her face. I thought he had come. There was so much wetness everywhere. But I noticed by looking more closely at what she was doing that she was working saliva up in her mouth and using it to keep everything nice and slippery. She created her own lube and he was in ecstasy.

These are just a few tips but here's the most important one: take your sweet time. We rush enough as it is through life. If you take your time giving pleasure, you will have more time to find the things that please you as well. And when fellatio is pleasurable for you, you'll be in position to give your best to your partner.