Google Glass: The Future of Sex Is Here … For Narcissists

It can't be denied that Google Glass is the wave of the future. If you're not familiar with this new technology, you should know that Google Glass is a wearable computer that looks much like a pair of ordinary eyeglasses .... only geekier. Also known as Project Glass, the space-aged-specs are purported to have about the same functionality as a smartphone. And, because Glass can take pictures and record video, it's only natural that someone would develop a sex-based application using this technology.

Sex with Google Glass, now known as Glance, is a voice-activated app that lets the wearer see …themselves, during sex. That's right, it's an app that lets you watch yourself during sex, seeing what your partner sees. Google glass doesn't impede your regular vision, so the app allows you see yourself and your partner at the same time.

I'm just wondering: Who the hell wants to watch themselves during sex?

Well, I suppose it might be neat to see my own O-face ... just once. But after that, it seems like any thrill would dissipate. Wearing it would have to feel at least a little silly. But wait, because the voice commands are an even sillier part of Sex with Google Glass.

To begin recording, simply say "OK, Glass. It's time." Just what any lustful partner wants to hear prior to intercourse. No word on whether or not Google Glass will let you change the voice commands. For me, the urge to name GG after a famous computer would be overwhelming. Who wouldn't want their own wearable version of "Ironman's" Jarvis, or 2001's HAL 9000? To stop recording, just say "OK, Glass, Pull out."

Yes, you really have to tell it to pull out. Apparently Google never got the memo on how unsatisfactory pulling out can be.

Contemporary porn star James Deen recently made a demo video using Glance that demonstrated its applications in pornography. In this mildly NSFW video, we see Google Glass taking occasional pics, offering information about the actress's shoes, and displaying pop-up ads in addition to the pantomime giggity of the glass wearers.

Let's hope that the sex apps get better for Google Glass. Personally, I don't think much of watching myself during sex. If I did, I'd get one of those amazing analog apps called a mirror. But what if I could see digital imaging of how the sex was affecting my own brain activity, or my partner's? That would be amazing! Or what about a green-screen app so that actual sex could take place in virtual locations? If Google Glass made it possible to have sex on a starlit beach (without the sand!), on the back of a unicorn, or in front of a fire in the Gryffindor common room, I'm all for it.

To my mind, the obvious application here is the webcam industry. I daresay that a pair of Google Glasses is probably a smart investment for savvy webcam actors. Imagine having webcam or live porn streamed right into your eye while co-workers or classmates are none the wiser. The possibilities of technology like Google Glass are infinite. As to how it will affect sexual trends, we'll just have to wait and see.