How to Build a Customized, DIY Strap-On Kit

Welcome to the fun world of strap-on play and pegging! Now that you're here, I want to make sure you have the best experience possible. Step one for fun and pleasurable strap-on play is having the right gear. You don't need the most expensive gear out there, but you do need gear that works for you and your receptive partner's needs. Frustrating gear doesn't make for a fun time. So how do you get the best gear? Well, you choose a DIY strap-on kit instead of picking a pre-made package that includes a harness, O-ring, and dildo!

Crafting your own, customized strap-on kit means it's tailored to your needs instead of a generic person's needs. I know it can be scary when you check out a retailer to find thousands of options to choose from, though. So, I'm here to help you narrow those options down and pick the best strap-on harness set for you and your needs.

Let's get started!

Choosing a Strap-On Harness

When it comes to strap-on play, the harness is the most important part. An uncomfortable or droopy harness will impact your scene — and your enjoyment of strap-on play. We want your experience to be as amazing as possible, and that starts with the harness.

Here are the things you should know about strap-on harnesses while browsing harnesses for your DIY strap-on kit.

Types of Harnesses

Strap-on harnesses usually come in three basic designs. These names are based off of the strap style that holds the harness onto your body. While every hip harness will encircle the hips as the strongest anchor point for keeping the harness on, where the rest of the straps fall is what differentiates the different harness types.

Single-Strap Strap-On Harness

A single-strap harness has a single strap that runs between the legs (and up against the genitals) — much like a thong. Like the Sportsheets Bare as You Dare harness:

Single-strap harnesses can be great for people who want something that feels "familiar" as they can feel like wearing a thong. And they have less straps to hassle with, which is a big plus for beginners.

On the downside, that single strap that runs between the thighs can be impossible to wear if you have a penis and balls. It can also "block" some of the spots you might want to play with if you have a vulva.

With less straps, it also doesn't hold the dildo as firmly against the body which gives the dildo more wiggle room when playing. This could be a pro or a con of these harnesses. If you want more maneuverability for the dildo, the wiggle room is great! But if you're a beginner and not confident in your strap game yet, the looseness of a single-strap harness might be frustrating.

Double-Strap Strap-On Harness

A double/jock-strap style harness has two straps that run between the legs (usually falling into the crease between the pubic area and the thighs) and underneath the butt cheeks before hooking back up to the hip straps — much like a jockstrap. Like the Spareparts Joque:

The dual-strap design of this harness offers a more secure fit for the dildo, which will wiggle around less in a jock-strap style harness. This design also allows room for a penis, like in the Crotch Rocket harness, and it covers less of the vulva if playing between the wearer's legs is a priority for you.

At the same time, some people don't like the look of the two-strap harnesses, and you have an entire extra strap to worry about getting down to the right size.

Panty-Style Strap-On Harness

Finally, the "panty" style harness is just that. It's a wearable panty with very little in the way of straps and buckles. It's simply a panty with a built-in O-ring in the front that's designed to hold a dildo. Like the Spareparts Sasha:

Panty-style strap-on harnesses offer the easy, simplest wearing experience. Just pull them on, and you're good to go. They can also look like lingerie which can make any wearer feel their sexiest.

However, since panty-style harnesses need to fit a variety of bodies without the same strap-tightening systems of the other type of harnesses, these panty harnesses can feel less secure. The fabric needs to be able to stretch enough to act as clothing which isn't usually the same "super tight" feel you want to hold a dildo in place.

Your DIY Strap-On Kit: Which harness is best?

So, which type is best for you? In an ideal world, you'd try them all out before you made your final purchase. In the real world, well, that just isn't how it works (unless you have some amazing kinky friends or lots of disposable income).

If you're looking for the most comfortable strap-on harness for all-day wear, panty-style harnesses are probably your best bet. They feel and behave just like a familiar pair of underwear. You can pack a packer into them throughout your day, or you can simply be "ready" to slide a dildo in when the main event happens later on.

However, panty-style harnesses have the smallest size ranges, usually have built-in O-rings, which limits the variety of dildo sizes you can use, and may not offer as much dildo contact during pegging. Depending on the fit, most users find that the dildo gets pulled away from their body because of the panty's stretchy material.

Want more contact with the dildo? A double-strap/jock harness may be your best bet. The two straps help hold the dildo more firmly against the body which means the dildo will make contact with your clitoris (if you have one) more often. However, these harnesses have more straps, which may be intimidating to a first-time user. And some people don't like the more "masculine" appearance of the harness.

Your middle ground is the single-strap harness. It's easy to step into and go right to town, but it doesn't hold the dildo as securely against the body. It also offers the ability for the strap-on giver to attach internal toys of their own right onto the between-the-legs strap. But that's some advanced-level homemade strap-on kit planning!

Strap-Ons and O-Rings: Built-In vs. Interchangeable

O-Rings are the rings that hold the base of the dildo in the harness, and it's important that they have a snug fit. Harnesses come in two varieties of O-rings: built-in O-rings or interchangeable O-rings.

When the ring is too large, the dildo will be floppy and move around a lot. If the ring is really too large, the dildo might pop out entirely. When the ring is too small, the dildo won't fit into your strap-on harness.

The O-ring is such a small part of your DIY strap-on kit (literally the smallest part), but it has a surprisingly large impact on how well it all comes together in the end.

Harnesses with built-in O-rings have a hole made of a stretchy, sturdy type of rubber that's sewn into the fabric of the harness. These built-in O-rings are crafted to stretch out to accommodate your dildo's size. This way, your O-ring is always a snug fit around your dildo, and you never have to give the O-ring a second thought.

However, there's a limit to that stretch. If you play with dildos over a 2" diameter, many of these built-in O-rings simply won't stretch large enough to fit your dildo. Luckily, most retailers will list the size of the O-ring on the product page to help you figure out whether your dildo will fit.

Shown above is an Interchangeable O-Ring system. These harnesses allow you to swap in different sized O-rings, which are entirely separate from the harness. You can purchase more O-ring sizes at a sex toy store or, if you're the crafty type, O-rings can be found at hardware stores. (Just make sure it's extremely smooth or you might slice holes in your dildo when you put it on!) Most interchangeable O-rings are held in by a system of snap buttons, allowing for a quick and easy change.

What strap-on harness O-ring is right for me?

This is where having an idea about your potential dildo's width is helpful. If you know you'll likely want an O-ring dildo that's over 2 inches in diameter, be careful purchasing harnesses with a built-in O-ring for your DIY strap-on kit. Some built-in O-rings can stretch that far — but not all! However, if you think you'll always stick to sex toy diameters under 2", a built-in O-ring might mean never giving your O-ring a second thought again.

It's also worth considering how often you'll want to change dildos mid-session. If your harness has a built-in O-ring, you'll need to pull your harness down in order to swap out dildos. Alternatively, most interchangeable O-ring harnesses have button snaps on the front side of the harness that allow you to swap out the dildos without removing the harness.

Strap-On Harness Sizing: How to get it right

Like any piece of clothing or any harness, your potential strap on harness has a size. Luckily, since manufacturers want to ensure their harnesses fit wide varieties of shapes (and so they don't have to make 10 versions of the same harness in slightly different size variations), most strap-on harnesses are very adjustable.

Single-strap and double-strap harnesses are the most adjustable. Since they are made up primarily of straps, their design really allows for adjustability. Just tighten or loosen a any strap to fit the harness to your own body.

On the other hand, panty style harnesses behave like a pair of panties from the store. Most panty style harnesses are made from stretchy material, which can help you get a good fit, but panty style harnesses can't quite offer the same level of versatility that strappy harnesses offer.

If you're plus-sized or tiny-bodied, you might want to pay special attention to the listed sizes that the harness will fit. Most hip harnesses run between 30 inches and 56 inches. Some harnesses manufacturers, however, are starting to craft harnesses for an even larger size range up to 82".

Measure your body where you want to wear that strap-on harness. For most people, it will be the widest point of your hips. However, if you want to wear your harness further up the tummy or further down the abdomen, measure that circumference. You want to make sure to get a harness that fits where you want to wear it on your own body.

Since harness straps are only limited by how much strap fabric they have, any person smaller than that strap fabric number can simply tighten the straps down further. If you're much smaller than the largest circumference, remember that you can always cut off excess strap material. Just think about whether you have a larger partner who might want to wear your harness before you make those cuts!

Choosing a Dildo for Your Harness

OK, we've got the "hard part" out of the way. Your DIY strap on harness makes the largest difference in the wearer's enjoyment of the strap-on activity and, to be fair, that's what's important here.

The receiver should definitely enjoy the experience too, but if it all of this was all about the receiver, you could just use your hands to push the dildo in. We want this to be so enjoyable that the dildo wearer will want to strap on the dildo instead of just using their hands, and that's where that good strap-on harness you picked will come in!

That being said, picking a dildo is mostly about the receiver. While the wearer should enjoy wearing the toy, the dildo is what matters for comfortable, pleasurable penetration for the receiver.

When you're shopping for a dildo for your homemade strap-on kit, here's what you should keep in mind:

The Biggest Factor: Dildo Width

The width of the dildo matters more than anything else about it. Ensure that your dildo's diameter is slimmer (or the same) as your strap-on harnesses O-ring. That ensures it will fit into the harness.

Of course, the dildo needs to fit into the receiver, too. Especially if you're playing anally, it's important that your receiver is able to comfortably take the size of the toy. Because the wearer has no sensation in this strap-on cock, it's easy to hurt the receiver, especially if they can't comfortably receive the dildo.

This means that dildo width should be your starting point when you're shopping. Start by narrowing down your dildo choices by diameters and then start selecting your favorite options within that size. Don't worry, I've got some tips on figuring out what diameter is a good starting point in a bit.

It's also important to note that any dildo you plan on using in a harness will need some type of flared base. Most strap-on dildos you'll see have a noticeably wide flat part at the bottom. We call that a "flared base." This helps anchor the dildo into the harness so it doesn't go flying out of the O-ring as soon as you start having sex.

A flared base dildo doesn't have to look so standard and plain, though. The testicles of some realistic dildos can act as a flared base. In others, manufacturers build a suction cup into that flared base, offering multiple ways to play with the same toy.

Dildo Length

Though dildo width is the biggest limiting factor to most beginners, dildo length usually comes up in discussion first. Ever heard something like "I can take 7 inches?"

I have, many times. For some reason, especially for people interested in receiving pegging, length seems to be at the forefront of their minds when shopping for a dildo.

Length does matter, though, especially if someone is new to pegging or strap-on sex. It's very possible to have a dildo that's too long, though it's generally not as limiting for most beginners as width.

This has a lot to do with individual internal anatomy. Both the vagina and the butt have walls you can "bang into" if you insert too deeply with a semi-rigid object. The vagina has the cervix. The butt is a bit more complicated.

You've probably heard that you need flared toys to play with the butt because there isn't a set "end point" to the butt like there is in the vagina. This is true. However, about 6" inches inside of the bum (varies by anatomy), the anal canal has a sharp curve in it caused by the pubo-rectal sling. The angle this creates varies from body to body and how you're positioned. Sometimes, this angle can be a gentle curve, or it can be sharper than a 90-degree angle.

Essentially, if someone's angle is very gentle, they might be able to take long dildos with ease. Longer, flexible dildos can simply follow the gentle curve of the internal channel with each thrust. If someone's angle is very extreme, though, it can be very difficult for the dildo to follow that internal angle, and the receiver will likely feel pain as the dildo bangs up against the internal walls. I promise, poking up against the wall of the colon with a dildo just doesn't feel good.

If someone's angle is particularly extreme, I'd recommend investing in a set of OhNuts. These penis limiters slide onto any point on a dildo and act as a plushy "buffer," preventing the dildo from sliding any deeper than where the limiters were placed. This allows the thruster to thrust with abandon without worrying about harming the receiver by going too deep.

Dildo length can also be important if either partner is larger. If the either partner has thick thighs or a squishy tummy, the thickness of your body might reduce how close your bodies can, quite literally, fit together. Nothing wrong with that; there's just more squishy material acting as a barrier between your bodies!. Since your bodies are further apart, it means you'll probably need more dildo length to make deep penetration happen.

A Simple Dildo Sizing Trick

If you're getting ready to try pegging or strap-on sex, you've probably used your fingers to penetrate before. If you haven't, you might want to start there before shopping for a DIY strap-on kit. Your fingers can be a quick "cheat guide" to figure out what dildo size you should go with.

Just insert your fingers to the place where you normally enjoy penetration, and then pull them out and measure that circumference. For sanitary reasons, I recommend using an old, throwaway ribbon. Just wrap it around your fingers at the point where they were inserted, and lay it out next to a tape measure. You now have a good idea of what circumference is a good, comfortable fit for you. Compare circumferences of sex toys, or calculate the diameter from your circumference measurement.

If you're uncomfortable using your fingers for penetration and want to move straight onto buying a dildo, look for a dildo that's about 5" in length and 1.25" (or less!) in diameter.

Any of these toys can be a great start if you're not sure what to pick for your first dildo:

Remember: you can always buy another toy if the current toy you purchase is too small. Until that new, bigger toy comes, you can still enjoy playing with your too-small toy and enjoying the sensations.

If you purchase a dildo that's too big, however, you won't be able to play with the toy at all, and you'll be left with a useless paperweight. So, all things considered, err on the side of "too small". At least you can still play with it then!

Dildo Material

Now that you have the basic gist of determining size when purchasing a dildo, let's move onto materials. To start, check out Kinkly's guide on sex toy materials. It's worth skimming this guide to get a basic understanding of sex toy materials in general before you make your final dildo purchase.

At a minimum, you're looking for a dildo that's phthalate-free. (If you want easy shopping, all of the dildos at the Kinkly Shop are phalate-free!)

If you're planning on anal penetration, understand that toy materials that can be sanitized (like a waterproof silicone dildo) are less likely to retain an anal scent after play. For me, that's all the selling point I needed. All my pegging toys are pure, body-safe silicone.

Check out the manufacturer's instructions for cleaning and maintaining the dildo as well. You'll want to make sure that it's easy to take of so you can get years of use out of it.

Other Things to Consider

We've gone through all of the practical features of a dildo, but appearance matters too. Not only does your dildo's appearance change how the it feels, it can change how you feel about it too. Some dildos look extremely realistic (with testicles and texture and different skin tones), while other dildos are made in solid, bright colors with no realistic detailing.

You should choose a dildo that turns you both on. You might be surprised to find out your partner or playmate hates realistic toys when you were in-love with the thought of having your own realistic penis. Or you might be surprised to hear that your your partner or playmate thinks your favorite design won't do much for them sensation-wise. Open communication here is best!

Remember: part of the awesomeness about strap-on sex is the fact that you can have any dick under the sun. ANY one. Huge, thick, and realistic? It's doable. A fantastical vibrating dildo? Done. A silicone dildo that cums? Yep, that's doable too. This wide, huge open opportunity is amazing, so don't be afraid to experiment with shapes that pleasure the receiver and the wearer.

Some dildos also come with additional features. A number of strap-on dildos come with with vibrations. Vibrations can be fun; not only will the receiving partner feel the sensations, but depending on the toy you choose, the wearer can also feel the vibrations against their own body!

However, vibrating dildos can also be more expensive, and they may present unique cleaning problems if they aren't waterproof. You'll want to weigh both sides before deciding if vibrations are a good fit for you.

If you're on a budget, you also might want to consider the versatility of your potential dildo. Do you want to hold it for other types of play? Are you hoping to masturbate with it, solo, when you're not with a partner? Consider other ways you might want to use your dildo. For example, virtually every flared base dildo will fit into a sex toy mount for hands-free riding when you don't feel like pulling out your adjustable harness.

What about strapless strap-on dildos?

It's my personal opinion (and entirely my personal opinion) that beginners should shy away from the strapless strap-on dildos. While they can be a hot fantasy, and something to explore down the road, strapless strap-on dildos add multiple additional factors that you need to manage on top of your DIY harness and dildo.

This includes things like:

• Lube and comfort for the dildo wearer.
• Ensuring the angle is right for the wearer.
• Making sure the wearer's insertable portion is comfortable for them.
• Prepping, foreplay, and warm-up for the wearer for penetration as well as the receiver.
• Picking a harness that works for a strapless strap on dildo.
• Keeping the dildo securely inside the wearer's body.

So, strapless strap-ons are a lot more to manage, not just a bit more.

Not to mention, most strapless strap-on dildos have thicker dildos attached to them. This means that they're not usually very friendly to receivers who aren't comfortable taking dildos that are at least 1.5" in diameter.

If you're relatively new to strap-on play, consider sticking with a standard dildo for a bit, and getting a strapless strap-on dildo down the line. When you're ready, my favorite is the Strap-on-Me Vibrating Bendable Strapless Strap-On. Strapless strap-on dildos are much more fun to experiment with when you already have a handle on the strap on harness and dildo side of things.

Don't forget about non-hip harnesses

If you've spent this entire article thinking a hip harness isn't for you, don't worry! There are other options. You don't have to "settle" for a harness that goes around the hips if that isn't sparking joy!

Instead, there are things like the Sportsheets Thigh Strap-on Harness. Using the power of easy-to-use Velcro, this allows you to simply strap a dildo onto the thigh - zero hip involvement required.

See?

This takes all of the focus away from the hips and puts it onto the thigh. Not only does this free up space on the genitals for mutual masturbation, but it also unlocks a whole host of new sex positions, including positions like the Mesmerthighs position (shown below).

It may not be your jam, but I wanted to let you know it's an option just in case it might be!

Should I buy a premade strap-on kit?

OK, I get it. I know I've spent this entire article outlining the benefits of buying a strap-on harness and dildo, and maybe an O-ring, separately. But there's no reason you have to. You might be in a hurry, or you might prefer to take the stress out of the decision by letting someone else choose the items for you, especially if you find a premade strap-on kit that seems perfect.

Now that you have all of this DIY strap-on kit information, you're in a place to make a better, more-informed decision about whether a premade strap-on set is right for you.

Take the Sportsheets New Comer's Strap-On Kit, for example. Designed specifically for people interested in pegging who don't want to fuss about the details (and want an affordable, one-stop-shop to get both a dildo and harness), the Sportsheets New Comer's Kit Special Edition makes everything as simple as possible.

The included, slim O-ring ensures that your beginner-sized dildos don't slide out. The velcro refastening interchangeable O-Ring system means you never have to hassle with snaps if you decide to upgrade to large dildos and O-rings. Plus, the adjustable design of the strap-on harness means it fits a huge range of body sizes. The New Comer's Special Edition Strap-on Kit fits all the way up to a 72" hip. Need it a bit slimmer? It adjusts down much, much smaller too! Plus, it comes with a super-slim, beginner-friendly dildo designed just for those new to anal pleasure (or those who love super-slim vaginal dildos) It's 5.25" in length with a super-slim diameter of 0.87".

While it probably won't be your "forever" strap-on kit, New Comer's Kit is great starting point to learn what works for you and what doesn't before you invest in a more-expensive DIY, customized strap-on kit.

Starting with a premade strap-on kit helps you answer questions like:

• Do you need/want padding underneath the dildo for your comfort?
• What about padding on your back? Is that something you need to help support your body?
• How important is an interchangeable O-ring to you?
• Is nylon a comfortable material for your harness?
• Where do you like your strap-on harness to sit?
• Is this a good resting point or would you prefer it higher or lower on your body?

Here are a few of our favorite premade strap-on kits for you to consider:

The Bottom Line

Building your own customized, DIY strap-on kit allows you to choose all the pieces that work best for your body and the sex you want to have. It's the best way to ensure that the harness, dildo, and O-ring all fit comfortably, make the wearer feel sexy, and make the receiver feel amazing! But, there's nothing wrong with a premade strap-on kit, especially if you're new to strap-on sex and aren't sure what you're looking for yet.

When you're ready, you can take your amazing DIY strap on set and expand your knowledge even further. Let us help you with some of our fantastic articles like:

• Pegging: Everything You Need to Know to Make It Pleasurable for You and Your Partner
• How One Woman Went from Hating Pegging to Making It a Weekly Part of Her Sex Life
• How to Prepare for Pegging
• 10 Pegging Tips for Plus-Size People
• A Step-By-Step Guide to Giving Your First Pegging
• He Wants Me to Peg Him. Now What?

Happy shopping, and enjoy some amazing strap-on sex!