While these nicely timed narratives are great for storytelling, real life is comparatively awkward and messy. Sure, some partners come at the same time. Many people don’t. And some people feel anxious about the stark contrast between their early cinema-influenced understanding of "The Way Sex Happens" and the sometimes stumbling, uncoordinated but (potentially) delightful real-world experience.
But you didn’t write asking "What is wrong with me wanting to have WeGasms™ with my husband?" You want actual, concrete steps to possibly, maybe make this goal a reality. First thing's first: Making this a checklist item on your sex list with your partner can make it even more elusive. You may end up feeling bad every time it doesn’t happen and begin an unproductive cycle of hope and remorse and resentment.
Instead, think of it as something nice to experience but not essential. Start with mutual masturbation. Be together and focus on your own pleasure. Learn how to bring yourselves to the brink in the presence of one another and hold yourselves from going over the edge. Take that feeling and start applying it to having sex together. Either way, you’re having fun and trying something new together.
