Letting Loose
Ethical non-monogamy, as a concept, is new for me. It, along with open marriage, swinging, and other forms of expanded relationships, is very in right now. While things are changing, it’s a slow process… with plenty of disapproval. We have lots of rules about how relationships are defined in this country, even when they don’t work or those folks making the rules are secretly breaking them. (Read more about one woman's foray into swinging in How I Became a Swinger.)
I’ve been fairly quiet about my decision to open things up, choosing to share it in a newsletter rather than on my blog. The first declaration brought an immediate loss of two subscribers. The second newsletter, with a little follow-up on my journey, brought two more. It could be coincidence, but I feel pretty certain my new, liberated lifestyle didn’t resonate with those readers. And that’s just fine.
What’s wrong with a 61-year-old woman choosing to have a little fun? The kids are all grown up, I’m self-employed, and there are no other concerns. Isn’t it time to cut loose and have a little fun when we reach at this phase of life?
When I used online dating and was still on the hunt for the "right" man, I found myself setting up fairly strenuous standards for the men I was willing to meet. I was evaluating each one who presented himself (as opposed to the hordes who never showed an interest or failed to respond to my emails) as a possibility for ‘til death do us part. This concept often had me focusing on the wrong things, rather than a few simple criteria: Is this man honest and in charge of his own life? Is he interesting? Could we enjoy some of the same things? Shifting that focus has allowed me to meet several fascinating guys who are looking for a similar woman. No testing and meeting of the family (at this point). No concerns about financial stability, political compatibility, or marital suitability.
