2. Be Verbal
In order to be honest, you obviously need to verbalize your likes and dislikes. This can be done in a few different ways. A candid conversation with your partner would be ideal. It is easier to approach this topic outside of the bedroom, not right after a sex session. If you bring it up too soon after a romp, your partner might take it as criticism instead and be less open to listening.
Alternatively, you can verbalize your likes during sex. Notice it says likes and not dislikes. Instead of saying, “I don’t like when you touch my clitoris directly,” you should aim to phrase it in a positive way “I like it more when you touch the area around my clit”. Instead of criticizing, you’re pointing out something that you like. Non-verbal communication also helps – moaning, sighs of pleasure, or body movements can be a huge indicator for your partner. Typically, the loader the moan, the better the pleasure. If you stop moaning, they should probably get the hint. If they don’t, you might need to verbalize in words. Remember: Silent sex doesn’t benefit anyone (except maybe the neighbors).
3. Be Open Minded
Communication works both ways, so you need to be OK with receiving information and suggestions from your partner. Your partner may communicate ideas or fantasies that you have never previously considered. Your first reaction should never be a negative one. Even if you find the suggestion initially off-putting, you should never express this as disgust. You can ask questions, do your own research, and have an informed conversation about it. Consider that your partner took a brave, honest step. You need to respect that. You can always say ‘no,’ but your partner will appreciate that you were willing to listen, learn and consider. Alternatively, their fantasies might amp up your sex life and lead you to exploring more together. Together, you might just discover the next best thing in your sex life. Remember: be open-minded about ideas and honest about your limits.
