Sex Stories We Love: Buck-off and Enjoy Yourself, DIY Orgasm Fun, & Accepting Anal

It is another week of change—which is great! Devices, attitudes! Everything is up for grabs right now and, I think, moving in the right direction.

Buck-off and Enjoy Yourself!

Isn’t watching the world change before our very eyes one of the most glorious things ever—particularly when it comes to sex? More and more, society is starting to understand that there are different people all around us who have different needs. The same old just won’t do anymore. We ain’t perfect yet, but we are changing. One of the long-time champions of the movement to recognize trans folks is Buck Angel and he has just made another strong move—releasing his signature sex toy for transmen. As Lynsey G. notes, while many sex toys can be repurposed for different bodies, the new Buck-off is specifically designed to maximize pleasure for trans men. This is just another change, one recognizing the need for sexual pleasure some people desire, that marks a move to a better world.

Pornography and Poor Health?

I love sex research. I love hearing about new studies. I love reading about people discovering ideas or validating research. I wish I had the abilities to conduct this research on my own. This work makes such a difference in the change we want to see. It makes such a difference in taking sex from the dirty topic nobody speaks of to something commonplace and relatable. Then, we get articles like this that strike fear about the dangers of pornography by being completely singular in scope and without factual data to back it up. Look, I think we can all concede that the book is still wide open when it comes to porn. Yet when the BBC comes out with an article that one psychosexual therapist says that porn is “damaging men’s health” it is going to get picked up all over the place and people are going to read and believe it—with no true validating factual information in there! Seriously, it actually says “There are no official figures” and then only references one patient. Argh! That proves nothing. I hate to think Angela Gregory’s work is invalid, but I fear it is being misrepresented. Better yet, ignore this article and seek out verifiable sex research.

DIY Orgasm Fun

One thing that hasn’t changed is that a lot of people do not make a lot of money. The disparity between the rich and the poor is huge. For some reason, some folks seem to think that only those with money should have the opportunity to enjoy pleasure. This is kinda sorta the case with sex products. It might not be that manufacturers and retailers are actively deciding poor folks can’t afford hot toys, but rather their margins have to be met and sometimes sex toys are pretty damn expensive. Unfortunately, that means some folks will miss out. However, if you’ve got a DIY spirit, you can still definitely get off in creative ways with different household objects. Hell, an ex and I used to use my electric hair clippers―which were pretty damn close in strength to a Magic Wand!

Ooh La La! France Maps the Clit!

Consider how long people have been cutting dead people up and looking at all of the parts we carry around on the inside. We’ve looked at all of the bits and pieces and mapped out our anatomy. So, why then did it take until 1999 to get a fully mapped out representation of the clitoris? Well, the primary reason is the male bias that dominates medical research. Fortunately, yay, more change! While the debate over sex education rages, France is taking the initiative to help people grow with an understanding of the clitoris by sharing a 3D model in schools. Hopefully all of their teaching isn’t entirely in the context of relating clits to penises, but it is still a step in the right direction.

Sex Ed: Not Just in School and Home

Sex education is still a hot button topic for school boards. It's great that kids are getting some guidance and leadership in understanding the world of sex that awaits. But really, sex ed doesn’t only happen in school and (hopefully) home. We’ve always gotten sex ed from a variety of sources. These days, kids are likely going to be informed by social media, the Internet, and porn. That’s life in the digital age. Take it back a few decades, in a Stranger Things way, and you see how casual sex ed was something entirely different. Books, magazine, movies...those were the media I had to grow up with. One thing that hasn’t changed, then, now, or anytime in history—much of our sex “education” comes from talking with friends.

Accepting Anal

Finally, one of the most successful changes in the world of sex has been the emergence, acceptance, and enjoyment of anal by so many different folks. It wasn’t long ago that people thought bum fun was deviant and disgusting. But slowly, over time, more and more folks have come to understand and accept anal into their sex lives. This has been, in no small part, due to sex activists and educators like Carlyle Jansen. Not only has she been blazing trails with her shop Good For Her, but her recent book Anal Sex Basics is all about anal sex is a must have for those curious and those in the know.