Sex Stories We Love: Copstitutes, Condom Couture, and Colorful Bedrooms

Confessions of a Copstitute

We’ve all seen movies and reality TV shows of female police officers working undercover as sex workers on the streets, but what really happens on the job? Even this anonymous cop said her assignment was nothing like she saw on the screen. “When I started, I had the impression ... that you had to be attractive … The stuff that's in movies … it goes the exact opposite,” she says. So are the johns, which she says included a Jewish teenage boy who was fetching women on the Sabbath. “They had to notify his dad, but Dad can't drive because of religious obligations, so he had to call a taxi to pick his son up,” she says.

Condoms Are Fashionable

When the Boulder Valley Women’s Health Center put on an event, it didn’t just want to make a statement about sexual health. It wanted to make a fashionable statement. At its recent Condom Couture show, one of the models was strutted down the runway in a Frida Kahlo-inspired dress completely made of yellow, orange, red and black condoms, and it’s absolutely stunning.

"We want to bring something to the runway that is iconic, something that when you spot it, you think, 'Yes. This is inspired by Latino culture,'" says Victoria Gómez Betancourt, communications and development director of Colorado Organization for Latina Opportunity and Reproductive Rights (COLOR), a co-sponsor of the event. "We are going to make a statement and use it as a conversation piece to bring back the subject of sex and sexuality in our community."

Indeed, it did.

Colorful Sex

Perhaps Fifty Shades of Grey should have been titled Fifty Shades of Red. According to a survey of 1,500 people, those with red bedrooms had sex an average of 10 times a week. Those with black and purple bedrooms weren’t that far behind in frequency by having sex nine and eight times a week. The 45% of those that have white or cream colored bedrooms might want to consider heading out to the hardware store to pick up a can of paint. They reportedly didn’t see much action. Perhaps they might want to pick up some rope and chains while they’re there, too.

Is No Nudes Good Nudes?

If Playboy magazine will no longer be featuring photos of nude women in its print magazine, how will it survive? Of course, the proliferation of pictures of nude women on the Internet have made the iconic men’s magazine’s centerfolds somewhat irrelevant. However, the New York Times says the granddaddy of smut will now feature the work of visual artists because research found that’s what its coveted younger readers want.

Playboy will continue its tradition of providing investigative journalism, provocative interviews, and in-depth features because people really do read it for the stories. (Even I do on occasion.) It will also be adding a sex-positive female sex writer.

Playboy may never recover the 5.6 million readers it had at its height of popularity in 1975, but it still makes money from licensing its branding and logo, one of the most recognizable in the world, on products.

Why Sexual Assault Survivors Feel Guilt

It might seem ironic that sexual assault survivors feel guilt, but there are reasons why those feelings pop up. This strip of comics literally illustrates the way guilt can manifest itself both in negative ways and in some surprisingly positive and healthy ways. It’s a great read for survivors as well as friends and loved ones who truly want to understand and be supportive.

Just for Laughs

We’ve all had at least one embarrassing sexual moment, but college life, especially having sex in a dorm room, can take awkwardness to a whole new level. Dorm rooms weren’t made for banging, especially with thin walls, having to go down the hall to use the bathroom, and roommates don’t exactly make having private time easy, but it can be funny, especially these stories to figure out what kind of dirty sex toy Barbie you are. It’s one of those quizzes you take to find out what kind of person you are that seem silly, but are really your guilty pleasure. I took the quiz a few times to see if Topless Dancer Barbie came up, but apparently, I’m either Sex Toy Virgin Barbie or Sadomasochist Barbie.

Only at Walmart can one buy a gun and Gun Oil. Not for an actual gun, but if you’re familiar with the brand name of a personal lubricant marketed for men, you probably see where this is going. A customer took a video of himself finding and picking up a bottle of this brand’s water-based lube at the gun counter at a Walmart in Alabama. His commentary while reading the label at the store known for its low prices was priceless … “Wetter, lighter feel than silicone. Oh that sounds good. That sounds really good. I think my gun would work really good, wetter and lighter.” According to this article, a Walmart employee says that the lube is routinely mistaken for a sporting goods item and is often returned to the gun counter.