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Perspectives

Sex Stories We Love: Sex-Positive TV, Parenting and What It Takes to Be a Male Porn Star

I am lucky enough to be writing this edition of Sex Stories We Love beside a roaring campfire whilst cottaging in Central Ontario. Yes, I said cottaging. Which meaning, you wonder? I'll (probably) never tell!

Sex in the Media (It's Getting Better)

I am guessing that a lot of people have jumped off the fangs of "True Blood" as it wraps up its final season. At times it was super-sexy TV and even now continues to be groundbreaking in depicting sexuality and sexual fluidity. Actually, it's still is with a recent episode making a solid statement about slut shaming. And the stars aren’t just out to act their way to a sexy paycheck. Nelson Ellis recently called out a former cast member for quitting because a planned story arc was "too gay," and here is Anna Paquin confidently correcting Larry King on the reality of bisexual existence and identity. The show itself might be a little long in the tooth, but it still has bite.

Another strong and positive representation of sex in mainstream media is this feature on sex super blogger Cara Sutra. She is one of my own online heroes, and it's great to see her work represented. Cara pours so much of herself into her work and it pays off with sharp writing and great information. Having her work and story out there helps more people learn and grow in their own sexual lives.

What It Takes to Be a Male Porn Star

Do ya wanna be in pictures, fella? Do ya think ya got what it takes to be in the movies, er ... moanies? Recruiting for male porn stars used to be as simple as asking these two questions:

  1. Do you have a big cock?
  2. Can you get it with crew in the room with you and a director barking orders?
Now, Pegas Productions of Quebec, Canada, has taken the initiative to set guys who want to get into porn on a more responsible path by offering their Pegas 101 Introduction to Pornographic Acting Course. Sure, these dudes still need to pass a physical inspection, but in this course they are also going to be taught a theoretical section that "outlines the actual duties of a male porn actor, includes some safe-sex tutorials, and serves to dispel certain myths of the industry."

Sounds like a great approach, even if the exam is hard.

Sex Positive Parenting in a Not-So-Positive World

Being sex-positive can be tricky at the best of times in a world that just does not want get on board. But one of the hardest ways to maintain the outlook is when dealing with your kids and their sex education. Most of us have been taught a shame-based version of sexuality and these shackles are hard to shake off when questions of sex and sexuality arise in our own parenting.

If you are experiencing these issues yourself (I certainly have), read of this brilliant essay by Lea Grover.

The Power of a Sex List

I make lists. Lots of lists. Lists for work, lists for projects, lists for groceries, and you'd better believe I made a big list for this cottage trip. So does it seem reasonable to make a list of the aspects of your sexual relationship?

OK, you might not need to make an actual physical list of ways to keep your sex life juicy and your relationship running smoothly, but what Dr. Carlen Costa offers here will certainly be a great jumping off point. She offers a tremendous selection of talking and thinking points for you and your partner. And writing down thoughts - whether sexy or difficult - can ensure that both you and your partner's needs, issues and desires are addressed.

How's Your O Face?

Have you ever seen your orgasm face? Anyone ever commented on it? Do you want to see it? Expert Annabel Knight offers up some thoughts on our pleasures pusses - including what to do if you feel the urge to laugh at someone's orgasm face. Personally, I've known what I look when I cum for years and years. I had to know. Not because I am self-conscious. I just wanted to know because I thought it would be hot. The hardest part? Keeping my eyes open enough to look in the mirror!
Jon Pressick

Jon Pressick is a sex-related media gadabout. For more than 20 years, Jon has been putting sex into our daily conversations at his long-running site SexInWords—as a writer, editor, publisher, sex toy reviewer, radio host, workshop facilitator, event producer and more. These days, he focuses on writing for Kinkly, GetMeGiddy, The Buzz and PinkPlayMags and editing Jason Armstrong's series of Solosexual books. In 2015, Jon edited Cleis Press' Best Sex Writing of the...