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Kinky sex

Cockwarming 101: A Lesser-Known BDSM Practice Worth Trying

Cockwarming is as much fun to do as it is to say! 

If you're not familiar with this form of intercourse, or some of its more fascinating associations, you're not alone. But cockwarming stars in special roles for a wide range of kinky communities, from BDSM dungeons to Mormon bedrooms. Yes, we did just call Mormons kinky. More on that later, we promise.

Cockwarming is easy and versatile. You can do it to keep your filthy little sub in their place, feel a closer intimacy to your loved one, or as a way to “stay pure," if that's something you believe in.

Don’t worry, we'll definitely explain the so-called purity of cockwarming as well as how to do it in different ways, why some people enjoy it, and what some of the benefits are.

So, let’s get balls deep into cockwarming!

What Is Cockwarming?

According to Anja Mack, a therapist, mentor, and coach for European escort service Erobella, cockwarming is “...the act of placing the penis inside a partner’s mouth, vagina, or anus, without the intention of thrusting.”

While that sounds as vanilla as a kink could get, you’d be surprised at how intense it can be. The urge to thrust or get any motion going is incredibly strong and needing to keep still will drive you wild. 

Cockwarming can be done as foreplay, act as the main event, or even post-coital for some extra sensation. 

What is Soaking?

Soaking is almost exactly the same as cockwarming, but it's done for a specific reason. Rumored to be popular among younger Mormons, soaking is seen as a loophole to have physical intimacy without breaking LDS’ rules around sex before marriage. This is not unlike the idea of “saddlebacking," where Christian teens use the same logic to engage in anal sex.

Mormon soaking has an interesting variation call Jump Humping, where a third party jumps on the bed while a couple is mid-soak. Now that is a good friend right there.

Cockwarming vs. Soaking

As mentioned above, cockwarming and soaking are only differentiated by their use cases. 

For members of the Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, aka Mormons, aka LDS, soaking is seen as a way of abstaining from sex in accordance with their doctrine. This loophole is not considered kosher by the church according to a blog post on LDSquotations.com. 

“Let me make it clear: The Church’s teachings emphasize not only physical chastity but also mental and emotional chastity, which include maintaining pure thoughts and refraining from any actions that may lead to sexual arousal before marriage.”

Even under these teachings, some young, unwed Mormons still view soaking as a viable alternative to being 100% abstinent. 

Outside of the LDS population, the cockwarming kink is popular in the BDSM community.

According to Mack “It can be used to dominate, titillate, or punish a partner, and there are many ways it can be worked into play. A Dom may place their penis inside a submissive partner for an extended period of time, or perhaps force their partner to perform an activity while they are being penetrated. The dynamic can also be switched, with the Sub being the person having their cock warmed, so to speak. There are lots of ways to play, explore, and enjoy this, provided enthusiastic, informed consent is given.” 

Read More: Welcome to the Dungeon: How to Join the BDSM Community

How Does Cockwarming Work?

Cockwarming may be simple, but there is beauty in simplicity. Thanks to this bit of no-frills phallic fun, you can explore the cockwarming kink in a variety of ways. 

  • Traditional cockwarming: Slipping a penis into a vagina and holding still.
  • Oral cockwarming: Holding a penis in your mouth with no sucking or motion. 
  • Anal cockwarming: Inserting a penis into a butt while both parties stay still. 
  • Pre-coital: Cockwarming can be used as a method of foreplay to really rev those engines.
  • Post-coital: After orgasming, either keeping the penis in and not moving or reinserting it for an extra burst of sensation. 

Benefits of Cockwarming

Besides feeling great, cockwarming comes with a number of benefits.

The first and most obvious benefit is how easy it is to do. If you’re looking for a new kink for you and your partner to enjoy, you’d be hard-pressed to find a simpler option. This is especially true if you both want to try some Dom and Sub play without needing to get out some equipment.

Another benefit of the cockwarming kink is that it can allow you and your partner to feel intimately close without having all-out sex. This could be because you are both too tired to give it your best, aren’t totally in the mood, or because you are battling deeper issues.

As Mack points out, “It can also take the pressure off if one of both partners are having struggles around sex… Rather, it’s just another way for consenting partners to be intimate together.”

If you’re a religious person, cockwarming or soaking can be seen as a way to get down and dirty with your partner while keeping your soul clean.

Cockwarming FAQs

Now that we are all warmed up, let’s soak up some answers to your most asked questions!

Is cockwarming safe?

It's definitely safe as long as you are using a condom or another form of STI and pregnancy protection. If you’re going in raw, then there is a risk of infection or pregnancy. Basically, the same risk level as normal sex.

How long can you cockwarm for?

You can cockwarm until the cows come home. There isn’t any real increase in risk with extending the time besides ejaculating, especially if you aren't using protection. Just go with the flow and do it for as long as you like. 

What does cockwarming feel like?

The consensus is that cockwarming feels awesome. But as penis-owner who has done a fair amount of cock warming, I would not call this "simple" practice “easy."

In terms of cockwarming as a form of intimacy, like when my partner and I are spooning and I slip it in (we call it “sporking”), it feels great, and there is an added feeling of closeness. Using it as foreplay is very intense, as the urge to move my hips is almost maddening. 

Cockwarming after the grande finale, my penis is extra sensitive. If I’ve pulled out and finished, sliding back inside is almost too much. Almost. 

For the perspective of someone on the receiving end of a cockwarming, here’s a quote from Reddit’s r/BDSMcommunity’s member u/thissub1 with their first foray:

“It was a VERY interesting experience. It did frustrate me, because I do like to f*ck back. But it also really spoke to my submissive needs - of following orders, being of service, and being simply a vessel for him to physically enjoy. Once I was released from warming, I did cum pretty hard, too.”

You can read the full post here for more of their thoughts, along with several comments from users talking about how cockwarming made them feel more in control or a greater sense of intimacy. 

If you’re on your own and want to try cockwarming solo, check out our shop for sex toy warmers like the Mystim Hot Rod Toy Warmer. Stick this baby in any stroker or masturbation sleeve and you'll have it warmed and ready for your penis in minutes.

The Bottom Line

As kinks go, cockwarming is one of the simplest and most fun to try!

Whether you’re playing with power dynamics, stoking your sexual flames, or are looking for a penetrative alternative to the Devil’s dance, then the cockwarming kink is for you! 

Justin Perlman

Justin Perlman has written about sex, dating, LGBTQIA+ issues, and Pop culture for Philadelphia Weekly, Women's Health Interactive, and Kinkly. He lives with his wife, two cats (Superintendent Chalmers & Dr. Whoopsy Daisy), and a puppy (Walton Doggins).