My partner and I have been together a few months, and it's been difficult to have sex because his penis falls out or bends no matter what position we try. I'm wondering what we can do?

Porn gives us some unrealistic examples of what sex looks like. For the sake of the camera, sex in porn involves the penis pulling all or most of the way out so that penetration is visible. But for most folks, this isn’t the most pleasurable form of sex. And remember, porn can simply edit out any time the penis falls out, or misses the entry point. 

Try getting on top of your partner and focusing on grinding or frottage, potentially with some bonus penetration. This way, you can both experience stimulation with less risk that his penis won't stay in. 

Sex Toys Can Help

If you’re open to adding some tools and toys to the mix, you’ve got lots of options. A penis pump can provide significant help gaining and maintaining an erection. With the style of pump that includes a cock ring, you can trap that blood flow in the penis after it’s been pumped. 

A penis sleeve is another tool that may help you both have the sex you’re hoping for. By providing extra stability (and potentially extra length, depending which one you choose), penetration might be easier to maintain. Also, depending on the sleeve you choose, you can each experience unique sensations provided by different sizes and textures. 

Try Non-Penetrative Sex

Finally, the advice most sex coaches and therapists give (but people often don’t want to hear) is to focus less on penetrative sex. While porn (and R-rated movies) would have us believe most pleasure, and even simultaneous orgasms, come from penis-in-vagina (PIV) sex, studies show differently. 

Try adding other forms of play before, or even instead, of penetrative sex, at least some of the time. Stimulate each other with hands, mouths, and toys.

For yourself, try having one or more orgasms before penetration begins so that you’re already mostly satisfied and penetration is just a bonus.