DILF is an acronym that stands for "Dad I'd like to fuck." A DILF is sometimes called a FILF, or “Father I’d like to fuck,” although this term is less common. This alternative can sometimes have negative connotations due to its early use on pornographic websites.
What is a DILF?
A DILF is an attractive father. Men called DILFs are usually between the ages of 30 and 50 and typically ruggedly handsome, confident, and charming. People may use the term DILF to refer to older men of any body type, from muscular men to less-toned gents sporting “dad bods”.
DILFs are usually proud parents who embrace their domestic responsibilities. However, Edward Reese, a gender and sexuality expert at Taimi and trans* non-binary expert, told Kinkly that as the term has evolved.
They noted that “To be an actual dad to actual children is not a must.”
Origins of the term DILF
The term DILF originated in the late 90s as an alternative to MILF, or mom I’d like to fuck. However, it didn’t become popular until the social media era, when people began tweeting about favorite celebrity DILFs including Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman, and David Beckham.
The term has endured through popular memes, hashtags such as #dilfsofinstagram and #strollermeat, online threads, and online accounts like DILFs of Disneyland and All for DILFs.
What does calling someone a DILF mean?
Calling someone a DILF simply means they are attractive. Unlike MILF, which simply praises aesthetic beauty, DILF tends to celebrate everything that makes a man attractive, including his looks, his personality, and often his commitment to fatherhood.
While some people use the term MILF for any older woman, whether she has children or not, this doesn’t happen as often with DILFs. Their status as paternal figures, and typically as parents, is usually, but not always, a key part of their appeal. DILFs are sexy because they’re dads, not despite being dads.
Perhaps because it’s so holistically positive, DILF also doesn’t seem to have the negative connotations that MILF does. While some people feel the term MILF is derogatory and objectifying of women, the term DILF is almost always seen as a compliment.
Reese suggested that misogyny lies at the root of differing perceptions between DILFs and MILFs. “The older man in our fantasies is the one who does the fucking, the one who protects and cares. The older woman is portrayed as a sexual object, often promiscuous, desperate, and deceitful. Modern society looks at aging for men and women differently. While DILF is rooted in the search for a perfect dad, the classic MILF (see Stifler’s mom from "American Pie") is a porn character who only thinks about giving herself to the younger man in bed. She often lacks other personality traits or hobbies.”
DILF vs. Daddy
While the terms DILF and daddy may seem like synonyms from the outset, they can refer to different older men. A DILF is an attractive paternal figure, while a daddy is an umbrella term for any attractive older, dominant man who may or may not have children or a paternal nature. DILFs are also daddies, but a daddy isn’t necessarily a DILF. The term daddy became popular in the LGBTQ+ community before gaining more widespread acceptance.
DILF vs. Zaddy
Zaddy is a more modern term attributed to rapper Ty Dolla $ign. While his 2016 song of the same name stated that a zaddy is a daddy with sex appeal, the term has come to have wider implications of excellence.
A zaddy is a top-tier daddy, an older man who is stylish, intelligent, and ultra-charismatic. As with other daddies, a zaddy doesn’t necessarily have children or a paternal nature a DILF does. Only the most appealing DILFs with serious X factor can also be called zaddies.
Why people are attracted to DILFs
People are typically attracted to DILFs because they’re seen as the whole package. The archetype of a handsome, confident man has long been attractive to people who desire men.
However, a DILF’s status as a kind, caring father figure gives him some added appeal. They’re strong, but they’re also sensitive. People who love DILFs can imagine how they might care for them and any children they might have together. DILFs are also seen as safe, stable options that are unlikely to let their partners and families down.
“It’s not only the inner values that make a DILF attractive. These people [who like DILFs] also like a more mature body with better facial and chest hair and a bit older but still well-trained body,” Sofie Roos, a sexologist and writer for Passionerad, explained to Kinkly. “There’s also details that make a DILFs appearance appealing to some people, such as more visible smile lines, rough hands, and thicker underarms. Many people that are turned on by DILFs also find the idea of their (most likely) great experience in bed as a big turn-on, since the rumor says that mature good good-looking men really know how to treat a sex partner in bed!”
DILFs represent a modern shift towards men who demonstrate their masculinity in new, more nurturing ways. These engaged, caring men are the antithesis of the detached, emotionally distant dads, commitment-phobes, and “clueless fathers” of the past.
By subverting expectations that people may have of men with children, they’re seen as rare and incredibly appealing. This new type of masculinity can be especially attractive to queer men.
“I would connect it to the issue many queer men have with their own dads,” Reese explained. “Older men are more likely to be homophobic and transphobic and treat their sons not in the best way. LGBTQIA+ people often experience violence, abuse, and abandonment from their fathers. So, intentionally or not, some of us tend to seek a lost father figure in a partner, and the DILFs come to the rescue.”
Synonyms: FILF
