Shower sex is any type of sexual activity that occurs in a shower. The term usually refers to oral or penetrative sex in the shower with one or more partners. However, some people also consider solo play in the shower to be shower sex, especially when it involves the shower head.
Bathroom sex
Bathroom sex is an umbrella term for any sex that occurs in a bathroom, while shower sex is sexual activity that occurs in the specifically in the shower. It's a type of bathroom sex. However, bathroom sex might also happen against a bathroom wall, with one partner propped up on a sink, or even on a toilet.
Golden showers
While they have similar names and both involve liquid, shower sex and golden showers are two very different sex acts. A golden shower is the act of urinating on a partner. This might occur in a shower but can happen in any setting. Shower sex usually doesn’t involve urination.
How common is shower sex?
This sex act is relatively common, with 56 percent of couples saying they’ve tried it, according to Bustle. These results are similar to those of a survey conducted by UK bathroom company Drench, which found 54 percent of Brits had tried shower sex.
The shower is also the most common place men want to have sex, with 73 percent reporting a desire for sex in this setting. That makes shower sex fantasies more common than dreams of joining the mile-high club. Women seem less keen though. Only 48 percent said they wanted to try shower sex.
It seems most people who’ve tried shower sex loved the experience, with 81 percent stating they want to do it again.
Why do some people like it?
Shower sex is a very sensual activity. Many people enjoy the feel of their partner’s wet body and the way their body slides freely against their partners. The feeling of warm water spraying down can also enhance the experience.
“The fact that you can set the water temperature and use that for temperature play is also a big upside,” Sofie Roos, a licensed sexologist and sexual health expert at Passionerad, told Kinkly. “Try both hot and cold — they give a different feeling!”
Shower sex can also be very visually appealing. Some people love the look of soap and bubbles over their partner’s naked body.
Many people also enjoy shower sex because spending time in the shower is pleasurable to them.
“People often enjoy sex in the shower because it provides a relaxing atmosphere,” Suzannah Weiss, resident sexologist for Biird and author of "Subjectified: Becoming a Sexual Subject," explained to Kinkly. “Most people associate the shower with relaxation, luxuriating, and self-care. The heat and water help to melt away tension, and the setting is also intimate and private, especially for those who may have kids or others who may interrupt them elsewhere.”
Spending time with a partner in the shower can also increase intimacy. Many people take the opportunity to wash their partner’s body or hair while they’re showering together. These intimate acts may help couples feel more connected before they have sex.
As shower sex occurs in the shower, both parties are usually clean. This can be a real plus for people who are sensitive to body odors or concerned about how they might smell to a partner. People may prefer shower sex when they’re menstruating, as the water washes away the blood. Similarly, people with some messy kinks like golden showers, may prefer shower sex for easy clean-up. There are also no sweaty sheets to wash after shower sex.
And for some, shower sex can simply be an appealing way to spice up their sex life.
“Sexual variety is correlated with sexual satisfaction and orgasm,” Weiss said. “Having sex in a new setting like the shower can help you and your partner to rediscover each other’s bodies. A simple setting change can allow your mind to break out of your usual routine and approach sex with a blank slate.”
Shower sex in pop culture
Shower sex is often idealized in popular culture. It’s seen as as beautiful way to bring characters together in many romantic dramas including Nicholas Sparks’ “The Lucky One” and “The Longest Ride,” queer cult classic “Better Than Chocolate,” “Fifty Shades Darker,” and “St. Elmo’s Fire.”
Some modern romances have subverted the trope and showed a more realistic side of shower sex. For example, in “(500) Days of Summer,” Tom and Summer amusingly fail to recreate a shower sex scene they watched in a pornographic film.
There have also been shower sex scenes in leading TV shows including “The Big Bang Theory,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” “Girls,” and “Riverdale.”
Seeing shower sex on screen can influence viewers to act out what they see, or at least start thinking about it. In the months after the release of "Fifty Shades Darker," which featured a famous shower sex scene, an Australian sex toy manufacturer noted online searches for “shower sex” and “sex in the shower” increased by 724 percent.
How to have shower sex
Shower sex can work in various positions, depending on the shower space available and individual preferences.
“Unless you happen to be venturing into shower sex in a five-star hotel, the chances are that the amount of space you have to maneuver will be limited,” Vicki Lyons, a sexual wellness expert and chief editor at Bodyjoys, explained to Kinkly. “This reduces your position possibilities, leaving you with just standing positions either from the front with some stretching and balance — one leg on the floor and one wrapped around the partner for a woman to allow for easier penetration, or from behind doing an awkward stand-up doggy style. Again, it's easier to prop one leg up on the shower wall or held by your partner to make penetration easier.”
Standing sex positions also offer secure footing that suits small spaces. Along with the positions described above, one person could also stand while their partner bends down or kneels to give them oral sex. Alternatively, both partners could also sit on the shower’s base for the wet lotus position.
Shower benches increase the options, as they provide space for reclining. For example, Weiss suggested a position called the reverse lapdance.
“If there’s a bench in the shower, one person can sit on it, and the other can sit on their lap, facing away from them, and ride them. Some people say this position is great for stimulating the G-spot.”
Tips to make it better
The following tips can make shower sex more satisfying:
- Use plenty of silicone-based lubricant. It’s a long-lasting lube that replaces the wetness the shower washes away.
- Experiment with positions. With limited space getting comfortable can be more challenging, but experimentation can help couples find positions that work best for them.
- Focus on erogenous zones. “Pay attention to the nipples, neck, earlobes and inner thighs,” Lyons suggested. “Using your hands to experiment with your partner’s whole body will create greater sensation and a bigger build-up to climax to make up for the lack of position options.”
- Add waterproof sex toys. Waterproof toys can add variety to shower sex and increase both partners’ pleasure.
- Make use of the shower head. Shower heads can direct water onto erogenous zones at various pressures for an added sensual thrill.
- Think beyond penetration. “Unless you’re in a very big shower, it can be challenging to position yourself. You might prefer to engage in manual or oral stimulation,” said Weiss. “You can start foreplay in the shower and then move to the bed when it’s time for sex.”
- Communicate. Checking in with a partner regularly can ensure everyone is getting the most out of shower sex.
Safety
Shower bases can get slippery, so it’s important to have firm footing. If someone slips, they might hurt themselves and their partner. Laying down a non-slip mat inside the shower and a plush mat outside the shower can help people avoid slips. Couples may also like to wash away any soap or shampoo before they begin shower sex, as these products can make the shower more slippery.
Gentle sex usually works best in the shower, as rough play increases the risk of falls. Couples can steady themselves on shower fixtures, but they should make sure anything they grip is secure and able to support their weight.
As water washes away the body’s natural lubrication, people who have shower sex are more likely to experience discomfort and vaginal tearing. Silicone-based lubricant is an ideal substitute that makes shower sex more comfortable.
Men and other people with penises can use condoms in the shower, but water makes keeping them on more challenging. Couples can reduce their risk of pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections by putting on a well-fitting condom before getting in the shower. Condoms are more likely to tear without proper lubrication, so it’s doubly important for couples who use them to add a silicone-based lubricant. They should also avoid using bath oils and bubble baths, which can degrade latex condoms.
