You've heard about it before, but do you actually do it?
Because you should.
That's right -- if you'd use safer sex protection with a particular partner for anal or vaginal sex, you should also use a barrier for oral sex. Some STIs can be spread via oral sex, so it requires the same diligence as other kinds of play.
But it can be hard to make protected oral sex happen. Not only are some oral sex protection options harder to find (looking at you, dental dams!), but the taste can be a turn-off for some. Plus, let's get real: Sometimes protection, even if it's necessary and important, can be a hassle -- especially when it just won't stay where you want it.
So, let's talk about the tools for oral sex protection -- and how we can make it fit as seamlessly as possible into our sex lives.
Curious about your safer sex options? Let's talk:
You've probably seen or heard of a condom before. But did you know it can be just as useful for oral sex protection as it is for intercourse protection?
A condom is a long "tube," usually made of latex, sheepskin or polyurethane, that unrolls onto the penis' shaft. Once unrolled, this tube now covers the shaft, placing a barrier between the giver's mouth and the receiver's body. It also has the added benefit of keeping any fluids (like precum or ejaculate) from making contact with the giver's mouth -- which can be great if they don't enjoy the taste or feeling of ejaculation.
Condoms are relatively easy to access and come in flavored and unflavored varieties. In the United States, they can be found at almost any store (including gas stations!). For the giver's comfort, try to avoid textured condoms for oral sex fun; the constant up-and-down motion of the texture on the giver's mouth can be extremely uncomfortable.
If you aren't performing oral sex on an erect penis, though, you'll probably need to use one of the other oral sex protection methods; condoms are notoriously difficult to slide onto a flaccid penis.
READ: Sexualizing the Soft Penis.
As the name implies, dental dams are protection methods initially designed for use by dentists. Now, though, they're often called "rubber dams" in the world of dentistry to avoid the sexual connotation the term has taken on. In dentistry, rubber dams are used inside the mouth to stop bacteria and infections from entering a specific area during a dental procedure.
As it turns out, the basic premise of rubber dams was also really useful for safer sex: There are things we want to do during sex that would also benefit from reduced bacteria transfer.
Nowadays, if you pick up a dental dam, it's a large, flat sheet of (usually) latex. It looks like a tiny little latex blanket! To use one for oral sex, simply lay this little "blanket" over the area you want to pleasure to create a barrier between the pleasuring area and your face. And voilà! You have a little device to help prevent the transmission of STIs during oral sex and fecal bacteria during rimming!
Since dental dams are almost exclusively used for oral sex, most come in flavored varieties to reduce the material's "medicinal" flavor.
Dental dams may be the barrier method of choice for people with an enlarged clitoris that might be difficult to slide into a condom. (Although, some people with an enlarged clit prefer the glove method mentioned below!)
Relatively new to the scene, you can think of Lorals like dental dam underwear. They are, essentially, a pair of panties made from latex. Since the barrier is wearable, you don't have to hold it in place, which some people find a convenient shortcut for safer oral sex/rimming.
However, that convenience comes with a few downsides:
READ: Big Love: Sex on the Plus Side.
But if your finances allow it, Lorals can double as safer sex lingerie, and that can be a blast -- especially for special occasions!
Remember how dental dams can be hard to find in stores? Well, they can. I can't tell you the number of sex stores I've walked into looking for dental dams only to be told they don't carry them. And that's not to mention how you can't get them them at pharmacies or regular stores. They're, quite honestly, a pain to get a hold of, and for many people, a kink-friendly space or an online sex toy store are probably the only places you can get them easily.
This means people have DIY-ing their dental dams for a while now. And while this method doesn't have the same built-in flavoring and easy-use design, it can still work.
Here's what you'll need:
While it's hard to find condoms that still use spermicide, make sure to choose a spermicide-free condom to avoid ingesting some nasties.
Now, here's how to turn a condom into a makeshift dental dam:
Here's how to turn a pair of medical-safe disposable gloves into a DIY dental dam:
Sunny Megatron has a really fantastic video about how to turn a glove into a dental dam.
And, while people argue back and forth about whether this is a good idea, Planned Parenthood endorses the use of non-microwavable saran wrap/plastic wrap as a dental dam if you're in a pinch. Even if it isn't FDA-approved, some protection is better than none!
Reality check: Sometimes protection can be a pain in the butt.
Dental dams move. Latex can taste odd compared to human flesh. Condoms can unroll. It's the truth: Even if barriers protect us, not using barriers is generally less frustrating.
(Though, if you're sensitive to infections after penis-in-vagina sex, some vagina owners find that using a condom for intercourse can help drastically reduce the number of infections they get. So that's kinda cool!)
If you're going down your journey of safer sex barriers with good intentions, here are some tips to help make it as seamless as possible:
READ: 6 Simple Ways to Make Safer Sex Super Hot.
The easiest way to avoid using protection is to simply get tested and ensure all partners involved are comfortable with each other's results.
Of course, this assumes partners are sexually exclusive, and it's definitely a financial and time commitment that signifies a certain step in your relationship, so it's not a good fit for everyone.
READ: Ethical Non Monogamy and Trust: How to Make it Work.
For the rest of us:
I admit: A good chunk of my resistance to safer sex barriers for oral is the taste and smell. I'm just not a huge latex fetishist. (But if you are, it should be easy to add safer sex barriers to your play!)
Flavored lube can be a good way to introduce different flavors into your mouth instead. While it can take a while to find a flavored lube you enjoy, once you do, the taste can add a distracting element to your safer sex barrier to make it easier to ignore the latex.
READ: 7 Fun Ways to Use Flavored Lube.
You may also want to experiment with flavored condoms or dental dams. I've found that the latex "marinating" in the flavor within the packaging tends to reduce some of the strong latex scent and taste versus simply using flavored lube.
If you're new to dental dams, they can be a bit of a beast to control. While most of us have a (literal) lifetime of using condoms on penises, we're brand new to dental dams. So, first off:
Be kind to yourself when it isn't flawless at first.
There's a lot of technique that comes with learning to use dental dams and keep them in place. It can be unique to the individual, too -- and even the sex position! It's, simply, a flat piece of latex. This can mean you'll need to learn to wrangle it into the best spot for use.
Here are some pro tips for dental dam use:
Remember: if your dental dam gets too messed up, you may need to switch to a fresh one. For example, if the giving partner accidentally licks a part of the barrier that had previously been touching the receiver's anus, you're circumventing the barrier entirely.
Your dental dam is only as effective as you are.
If you're getting rough with your hands, or if the recipient's hardness fluctuates, a condom on the penis can begin to roll off during oral -- and that can be aggravating.
Here are some tips to keep it in place:
Condoms also are near-impossible to get onto a flaccid penis. If that's the case, consider another barrier method for protection. Betty Dodson specifically recommends the saran wrap method we spoke about earlier.
Remember: Your safer sex barrier is going to come in contact with the area you place it on. (Makes sense, right? But it's easy to forget mid-sex!)
So, if you want to go from anal licking to vulva licking, you can't take that dental dam with you. It will have anal bacteria on it -- and you could accidentally give the receiving partner an infection. Just remember the rules around anal bacteria when playing with safer sex barriers; they still apply here!
READ: The Ultimate Guide to Having Anal Sex.
Protection is just as important for oral sex as it is for anal or vaginal sex.
And, although that can be easy to forget in the heat of the moment, there are tips that can make your play sessions seamless, safe and sexy.
