In this article ▾
What Is Pussy Worship?How to Worship a PussyWhat Can a Vulva Owner Do During Pussy Worship?What If the Pussy Owner is Uncomfortable Being the Center of Attention?But Isn't Pussy Worship Just Regular Sex?Conclusion: Above All, Have Fun
Here we take a deeper look at pussy worship and provide some guidance for incorporating it into your play.
What Is Pussy Worship?
"Pussy worship" sounds like a whole lot of different things, right? And, well, that's because it is.
Pussy worship is very unique to the people within the dynamic -- and that's because it's all about what makes the vulva owner feel worshipped, and what activities help the giving partner stay in the right frame of mind.
Here are some examples of scenes that could be considered pussy worship:
One
The giving partner is sitting on the living room couch in a room lit only by flickering, scented candles. The comforting, warm, vanilla candle scent fills the room, and a pulsing, gentle music is playing in the background. The vulva owner enters the dark room, wearing only a black robe, and steps in front of the couch. The giving partner slides off the couch and onto their knees, taking the robe's belt and unfastening it as they do. The robe silently drops to the ground while the giving partner buries their hands and face into their partner's body.
Two
The vulva owner lies on a comfortable bed, dressed in a skirt and underwear. Despite the soft, plush surface, the vulva owner looks nervous -- past trauma has made them uncomfortable with any intimate touch, but they've desired it with their current intimate partner and they've agreed to try pussy worship as a slow introduction to a touch that feels honoring to them.
Instead of stripping off clothing, the vulva owner's partner focuses on their whole body, Tantric touching for over an hour. When it comes time to do the "pussy" worship, the giver only plays around the edges of the underwear line. The experience feels validating and healing for the vulva owner, and they agree to try this again sometime soon.
READ: Finding Healthy Attachment After Trauma.
Three
The giver is laying comfortably on the bed. The vulva owner is sitting on their face, queening style, with their knees on either side of their partner's head. The receiver is playing a video game and occasionally giving praise to the giving partner underneath them. They remind the giver to pay attention because the receiving partner is going to quiz them on the taste, sensations, scents and erogenous zones later.
Four
The vulva owner is tied to a bed, spread eagle. They're wearing a bra and T-shirt but they're naked from the waist down. A sensual blindfold covers their eyes, and a Pliia Love Mat lies underneath them. They've been here for over an hour as the giving partner kneels between their legs, alternating between their hands, sex toys and mouth to pleasure the receiving partner. As the receiving partner reaches climax, they comfortably ejaculate with their Pliia Love mat protecting the bed underneath.
The Pliia Love Mat - Circle in Maldive Water.
Between the giver's administrations, the giving partner verbalizes any compliments or praise that comes to mind, swooning about the vulva owner's taste, how hot they look while turned on and even how sexy they look while simply blindfolded.
READ: 8 Bondage Sex Positions From Simple to Extreme.
See how varied pussy worship can be?! It's all about the people involved -- and what makes them feel the energy of the worship.
How to Worship a Pussy
Worshipping a pussy can be broken down into three big categories:
- Before the worship.
- During the worship.
- After the worship.
Remember, though: Pussy worship is unique to you and your partner(s) as individuals. If you don't feel like one of these tips honors your set-up, simply ignore it! There are no hard-and-fast rules in pussy worship -- except that the goal is to come away from it with a positive experience.
1.Before Pussy Worship
Pussy worship is all about the intention and scene behind the physical acts. Taking the time to really set that intention ahead of time can make a world of difference during the pussy worship scene itself!
This doesn't have to be a big thing -- especially if you're busy -- but it will require some effort. Here are some suggestions to set the pussy worship scene:
- Choose your location. Most pussy worship scenes will have you settling in for the long haul. What areas and positions will be comfortable enough for you to stay in the same spot for hours? Remember to consider both the giver and the receiver's comfort.
- Protect your location. Especially with a long, drawn-out pussy worship session, some wetness is to be expected. A Pliia Mat can really help here -- Pliia Mats are waterproof, laminated covers designed to be laid flat underneath bodies to protect your furniture. Because many vulva owners deny themselves ejaculation out of fear they'll make a mess, Pliia Mats encourage wetter orgasms by eliminating this fear. Available in both a circle and a hexagon shape (and many beautiful colors!), you can use the Pliia Mat that makes the most sense for your area.
Want to try a Pliia Mat for yourself? Use the code Kinkly10 at checkout for 10 percent off!
The Pliia Love Mat - Hexagon in Mauna Loa.
- Gather items ahead of time. While you can interrupt the pussy worship mid-scene to go grab something, it will be much easier for you to maintain your headspace if no one needs to go rummage through the sex drawer and see if they can find the last condom. If you find yourself in this situation often, a Mini Pliia could be the solution: Made of absorbent material, the portable altar cloth can fit snugly next to your bed and host your oil, lube, sensual food or toys to create a beautiful and arousing setting for love.
- Choose open time. There's no way anyone is going to relax into the pussy worship if you set a timer for 15 minutes before you have to run to a doctor's appointment. Choose a time where you have nothing else scheduled in.
2. During Pussy Worship
Here are some tips to set your pussy worship scene up for success:
- Consider preparatory couple's exercises. You might find Tantric, intimate bonding exercises ahead of your pussy worship can really help you get into the headspace required for pussy worship. This can be as simple as minutes of sharing your Pliia Mat for joint meditation, shared breathing, sustained eye contact and connective-focused touch.
- Keep your headspace. Keep an eye on your own headspace. Just like meditation, it's normal for the brain to wander, but try to gently bring it back to the current moment to stay present with your partner.
- Shower them in compliments. If your mental dialogue finds something nice ("Mmmm, they look so hot like that"), share it with your partner. This is all about worshipping their body, and especially their vulva and vagina.
- Satisfy your personal curiosity. While you're exploring your partner's vulva and vagina, take time to find new areas and pleasure spots you haven't explored before. If you're enjoying this fact-finding mission, consider asking your partner about a non-sexual pussy worship session later to find all of their body parts together. A small mirror designed for viewing one's own vulva, like the Pliia Reflection, can help the vulva owner see their own body during this adventure too.
The Pliia Reflection.
- Go beyond the vulva. There are a lot of erogenous zones around the vulva -- including the inner thighs, legs and stomach. If you'd like help figuring out the best ways to touch areas away from the vulva, the Sensual Massage course from Pliia was created to provide the confidence you need to go exploring.
(Psst! Use the code Kinkly10 at checkout for 10 percent off the Pliia Sensual Massage course.)
- Ask before penetration. If your partner says penetration is OK, involve this area very slowly. Start with gentle circles at the entrance of the vagina, and take your time (and lots of lube) with penetration! If you're using toys, start with super-slim ones (or fingers!) first and work up from there.
- DON'T go for orgasm. Aiming for the goal of an orgasm means you focus on the go-to techniques that get them there, and that may not encourage the exploratory, reverent mentality you're going for with pussy worship. If you both know you want to end your pussy worship in orgasm, consider spending the earlier half of the experience staying planted in "exploratory" mode before swapping to tried-and-true techniques.
- Use sex toys. You can use a vibrator, air suction toy or dildo in the same, reverent way you've been using your own body -- and get all new visuals and sensations to play with! To ensure the toy is a warm transition after your body, consider wrapping it up in the edges of your Pliia blanket to help it warm up a bit before use.
The Pliia Love Mat - Circle in Mauna Loa.
- Make them Feel worshipped. Compliment your partner's parts and their body -- and make it clear there's nowhere else in the world you'd rather be. Show your enthusiasm and appreciation for being allowed near such a private and sensitive place on their body, and use touch to make it clear you aren't simply trying to rush them to orgasm. Take breaks for even more compliments, lots of eye contact and touch and sips of water as needed.
READ: The Importance of Aftercare.
3. After Pussy Worship
OK, so you've tried pussy worship and had an amazing time. Now you want to know how else pussy worship can fit into your life.
Consider some of these tips:
- Talk about the idea of worship. Everyone has their own idea of what "worship" means. If you ask the vulva owner, you might find out that their ideal worship scene is leagues away from what you're imagining. Discussing this in advance can be a great way to increase the potency of your pussy worship scene.
- Discuss an end. Does the vulva owner want to hold onto this connective, deep energy and simply transition to date night? Do they want to end with an orgasm or penetrative sex? Maybe they have specific requests about what that "end" is -- like a g-spot orgasm or squirting on the safety of their Pliia Mat.
- Add rituals. If the connective energy of pussy worship appeals to you, consider turning it into a full spiritual experience. After you do connection exercises, set an intention for your pussy worship scene. Is it the receiver's pleasure? Is it helping the receiver feel connected to their body? Is it helping the giver feel one with their partner? Depending on the intention, you might want to include joint (or solo!) journaling time afterward. The Pliia Journal is made in the Rise design, which can match your Pliia Mat if a full, cohesive experience adds to your headspace.
Snag your own Pliia Journal for less by using the code Kinkly10 at checkout for 10 percent off!
- Leverage positive energy. For example, if you always do your pussy worship sessions on the Pliia Mat, pulling out the Mat during non-worship scenes is still likely to bring back all of those happy, satisfied memories -- which will help your non-worship scenes start off on an even better note!
READ: How Meditation Can Help You Have Better Sex.
What Can a Vulva Owner Do During Pussy Worship?
So far, most of this article has focused on the breadth of things the giving partner can do to "make" this pussy worship scene go off without a hitch.
However, it takes two to tango; the vulva owner needs to take some responsibility for the scene as well!
It can be easy for the receiver's mind wander during so much sensual, easy touch, but you're not honoring your giving partner's time and intention if you let that happen. Your mind will wander, but try to rein it in when it does. Keep your brain focused on the lovely sensations, your partner's undisrupted attention and the connection and energy between you.
READ: 5 Intimate Sex Positions Designed to Bring You Closer (Literally!).
You might consider adding in some mindfulness exercises during your pussy worship if you're finding it hard to stay connected to everything that's happening. You can do that by cataloging the various sensations that your senses are picking up, like:
What does your body feel? Is it the
Pliia Mat underneath you? Can you feel your body squirting onto it? Is the bed soft -- or is the floor hard? Where are your limbs and how do they feel in that spot? Are you warm? Cold?
- What does it smell like? A faint smell of sex? The candle that's burning?
- What does it sound like? Can you hear your own heavy breathing? What does this type of sex sound like? How is your partner's breathing? What about your own breathing?
- What does it look like? Open your eyes and meet your partner's. How do they look? As some people find it jarring to look at their own body, you can avoid that, but there are lots of things to see about your partner and the area around you.
- What's going on between your legs? How does it feel? Can you feel your pulse? What is your partner doing? How fast or slow is it? How does it make you feel?
These questions can really help you shut out the outside world and focus in on the sensations you're currently experiencing. Once you get through a few of them, you'll likely find you forgot your previous train of thought -- and can forego the rest of the questions to focus back on the experience again.
If something hurts or is uncomfortable, it's also the vulva owner's job to speak up. I'm sure the giving partner doesn't want something to hurt! So if an errant fingernail is catching, or something is tugging the wrong way, gently speak up and let them know so they can readjust. If the pain is keeping you from reaching a relaxed, appreciative state during your pussy worship session, that's definitely not enhancing your connective energy!
You also will want to communicate if orgasm is approaching -- especially if you tend to want to stop physical activity after orgasm. This can let your partner back off of what they're doing and make a mental note about what was "working."
In the future, if you decide to explore pussy worship with specific goals in mind, it will also be the vulva owner's responsibility to speak up about what feels best. This can provide the giver with a lot of new information and you both might discover new erogenous zones you'll want to hit again and again!
What If the Pussy Owner is Uncomfortable Being the Center of Attention?
Unfortunately, through societal messaging and past partners, some pussy owners are uncomfortable with the sight or taste of their vulva -- or being the center of attention for so long. Some vulva owners have also been at the hand of previous rude partners -- or even abusive ones (the same happens to people with penises!).
This can make a lot of people very hesitant about being the center of attention -- or even downright uncomfortable about having someone so up close and personal with their genitals.
If that's the case, there are a few things that may help -- if the vulva owner would like to try pussy worship but finds their own brain gets in the way of their enjoyment. Remember, there's no mandate to try pussy worship if you don't want to!
Start Small
Explaining to someone that a pussy worship session might last hours can sound overwhelming to someone who isn't used to more than five minutes (or zero!).
Consider small, tiny bursts of pussy worship as an introduction. Do it with the same reverence, compliments and focus on the receiver as you normally would -- but stick to five to 15 minutes at most. This can help someone get used to being the center of attention.
READ: Healing from Purity Culture.
Wear Underwear
Sometimes, the additional barrier of a pair of undies can help pussy worship feel a bit more guarded.
If that's how your pussy worship receiver would feel most comfortable, give it a try and see if it helps.
Ask For a Gift
Sometimes, reframing the pussy worship scene as a "gift" to the giver can help someone get over the fact that they're the center of attention.
After all, if pussy worship is being done selflessly for the giver's benefit, this can take the onus off of them having "asked for it."
Explore their Anatomy
With the way the vulva is placed, many vulva owners haven't seen parts of their own bodies! (If it wasn't for sexy selfies, I wouldn't have either!)
If that's the case, an exploratory session with the Pliia Reflection may help. This small mirror is designed to view one's own vulva with a composition that props itself up at the right angle to see what's going on.
If you're interested in exploring your anatomy with the Pliia Reflection, use the code Kinkly10 at checkout for 10 percent off!
Especially if someone is unfamiliar with their own anatomy, the idea of having someone else spend hours there can be uncomfortable! Normalizing this part of the body can really help.
Include Extra Compliments
Don't be patronizing, but if someone is uncomfortable with an aspect of pussy worship, try to include extra compliments around that arena. If there's a certain scar nearby, for example, that makes your partner self-conscious, compliment that area and reiterate how much it's a part of them and how you're glad they're still here with you.
The smell, taste, or even the look of your partner's vulva can all be points of self-consciousness. Pussy worship can be very restorative and self-esteem-boosting -- especially when someone was previously afraid to have anyone between their legs.
Even with these suggestions, remember that pussy worship isn't a replacement for a trained professional, and some people may find speaking to a therapist a life-changing (and sex-changing!) experience.
If your pussy-owning partner is uncomfortable with the idea of pussy worship in the first place and uninterested in trying it out, these tips will likely not change their mind. Simply put this idea on hold and revisit it down the line. They certainly won't feel worshipped if they don't even want to be there!
But Isn't Pussy Worship Just Regular Sex?
It's definitely sexual, but pussy worship varies from your usual oral sex and hand sex.
Regular hand sex and oral sex can feel amazing, but pussy worship generally goes beyond simply doing what makes the best sensations.
Pussy worship is about being fully present and aware of the experience. It's about pleasuring the vulva owner with intention; it's about really appreciating this part of their body and the fact that they share it with the giver. What tastes are involved? What scents are involved? How does this one spot vary in texture from a different spot? How does being in this spot make the giver feel -- and how can the giver show appreciation to the vulva owner while being allowed to touch this very intimate area?
In fact, some pussy worship doesn't even end in orgasm! While a lot of pussy worship activities will end in an orgasm (or more than one!), viewing pussy worship as an "orgasm-focused" activity can actually get in the way of the worship itself.
Conclusion: Above All, Have Fun
Even though it has the word "worship" in the name, pussy worship is still, at its core, a way to bond and have a great time during sex.
Your pussy worship scene might end up entirely serious, or you might end up in a fit of giggles. Either way, as long as you're having fun, you're doing it "right." Just keep doing that.
M
Written by
Mistress Kay
Mistress Kay has a fondness for all things sexual. With a house that's quickly running out of room for all of her reading and vibrating pleasures, she spends her free time reading, writing, and learning about the sexual universe with her partners. She can be reached at Kinky World.
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