Bondage is a very common kink, and it's also one of the first things people tend to try when they’re considering getting kinky. (It is the “B” in BDSM after all!)
If you're here, it's probably because you're considering joining the group of kinksters who make bondage a regular part of their play. And that's great! Bondage can have a variety of benefits for your relationship and your sex life -- if you approach it correctly.
With that said, here are some bondage sex positions to get you started -- and some all-too-important info on safety considerations, negotiation and aftercare before you dive in.
READ: How to Tie Bondage Knots: A Guide for Beginners.
Bondage comes with some serious safety considerations that often aren’t considered before play begins.
Here are some basic best practices to keep your bondage as safe as possible. Keep in mind, however, that bondage comes with some inherent risk, and all partners involved should understand and consent to these risks before diving in.
Before trying bondage, it’s important to spend time considering what you and your partner(s) are hoping to get out of it. Aligning your goals and desires is the only way to make sure the positions and play you choose will be the right fit for you.
You need to consider everything from your fantasies to your triggers before you start. For example, some people may react badly to having their hands tied behind their back or being blindfolded. That’s why every aspect of your play needs to be discussed and negotiated in advance. Are there any body parts you'd like to keep un-bound? Any body parts you want to emphasize? Sex acts you specifically want, or don't want, to engage in?
Discussing the scene in advance doesn't kill the mood -- it sets the stage for the safest, most fulfilling experience for everyone involved.
When you’re considering adding bondage to the bedroom, don’t try it on a whim. Instead, start the conversation far enough in advance to consider every detail. This also helps build anticipation and helps you consider what fantasies you’d like to enact.
Try using tools such as bondage erotica to come up with ideas. Also, discuss your likes and dislikes in different potential scenarios before you dive into anything serious on your own.
Once you start a bondage scene, it’s essential the rope bottom stay supervised until they’re untied. That means no quick bathroom breaks, and no running to get your phone or a glass of water.
Treat bondage play like a road trip: Attend to all of your basic needs before you start and keep essential items within arm’s reach.
Whenever you play with rope, you need to have safety shears on hand.
These are the same scissors EMTs use to cut off clothing -- the kind with rounded tips that can’t cut skin. In case of an emergency, you need to be able to get someone out of rope quickly, and sometimes untying won’t be fast enough.
From water and snacks to inhalers or medication, never leaving a partner alone means having everything you need right there.
So, fill your water bottle before you play and consider what might be needed in an emergency. If someone has a medical condition that can become acute quickly, make sure whatever they need is right there.
READ: Water Bondage 101.
A lot of things seem like a good idea -- and will maybe even go smoothly -- when everyone is conscious and playing along. But what if someone falls or passes out?
It's unsafe, and ill-advised for beginners, to put someone in a position that requires them to support their own weight -- for example, tying someone by the wrists and then attaching their wrists to a point above their head. What happens if that person is no longer able to hold their weight on their legs? Wrists and arms often can’t hold a body’s weight without injury, and someone could be in real trouble if they’re dangling by their wrists. Not only that, but it’s nearly impossible to cut them down and hold their body so they don’t fall further when you’re by yourself.
In short, don't shoot for bondage positions beyond your experience level; and always make a plan to handle any "What if?"s.
From body-safe rope to properly installed hard points, it’s important to use the right tools for the job.
Yes, bondage rope can be a little pricey, but there’s a reason for that: The rope you can get at the hardware store isn’t safe to use against skin. And the plant hooks in your ceiling aren’t designed to hold more than a pothos.
Don’t improvise when it comes to your bondage gear -- use the right tools or find a different way to play.
Once you’re confident about how to play safe, try out the following fun bondage sex positions.
Read: The Top 7 Bondage Sex Toys for Getting All Tied Up
Most people are familiar with the Spread Eagle Position, but adding bondage to the mix can make it more exciting. By securing someone’s wrists and ankles to the four corners of the bed (whether they’re face up or face down), you can have complete access to the front or back of their body. The vulnerability this pose creates can make it very exciting for everyone involved, and it allows for a variety of sexy or kinky activities -- like with blindfolds or impact play.
READ: The Ultimate Guide to Impact Play.
One thing to remember: Whenever someone’s arms are above their heart, circulation can become a problem, so make sure to check in with the bound partner regularly. And make sure the restraints on wrists and ankles aren’t too tight. A good rule of thumb is to ensure you can fit one to two fingers between the bound partner's body part and the cuff. (An under-the-bed restraint system can help! It provides soft ties and adjustable restraints to help keep your captive safe and comfortable.)
If you want to turn the standard Spread Eagle Position up a notch, attach the rope bunny's arms and legs above their head. For safety and adjustability, use a separate piece of rope for each limb so you can adjust or untie as needed.
And if you want to learn some new rope work, try a taught line hitch for securing the legs. This is essentially a slipknot, which you usually want to avoid in bondage. But in this instance, it will give you a ton of flexibility to lengthen or shorten the rope holding your partner’s legs so you can make the position more or less extreme at will.
Reminiscent of the classic "damsel in distress" popularized by Betty Page, one of the first ever fetish models, the Chair Bondage Position is a fabulous entry-level bondage sex position.
Because the bound person is sitting, this position is easy to maintain. However, it can limit sexual access unless you use bondage furniture or a chair modified with a hole in the seat. There is still plenty of fun to be had without genitals, though! This position can work for oral sex or a variety of forms of kink.
As an entry-level sex position, it can also go well with more mild sensation play, providing a full kink experience that’s still beginner-friendly.
An easy way to achieve this position with furniture you likely already have is simply tying your rope bunny's wrists to the arms of a chair and tying their ankles to the legs of the same chair. If you go this route, be sure to check in advance that your chair is sturdy enough to withstand whatever activities you plan to try.
For this position, try some using some simple bondage rope or secure your partner using wrist and ankle cuffs.
READ: Bondage 201: What to Do After You Tie Up Your Partner.
Tying the arms behind the neck creates instant vulnerability, and is also easier on the shoulders than having your hands tied at your lower back. The Armbinder Gag position is fantastic because it doesn’t require a great deal of flexibility, but it still takes away control.
A fun addition is to add a gag -- which can be built into the position if you’re using rope or can be added separately if you’re using other forms of bondage.
A gag can be an exciting sensation, as filling someone’s mouth is incredibly intimate. It also adds drool to the mix, which can be part of the fun.
When you’re gagging someone, ensure you establish non-verbal safewords (AKA "safe signals") in case the bound partner needs to stop play.
If you’re already a fan of the Doggy style sex position, why not spice it up with some bondage?
Start with someone on all fours—just like the Doggy style you’re used to—then enforce the position with bondage. Tie their wrists together and secure them to the headboard (or a leg of the bed, if you’re playing on the floor) and then use a spreader bar to keep their ankles apart. It'll look something like the Leapfrog Bondage Position or the Bound Love Triangle Position, pictured below.
The Bound Love Triangle Position.
If you want some extra security, you can also attach a spreader bar to the bed's headboard or footboard, depending on which direction would prevent them from sliding.
Finally: enjoy! This is a great position for spanking, sex toys or even penetration (maybe with a strap-on?) if you’re agile enough to dodge the spreader-bar bound ankles.
READ: 8 Hot Sex Positions That Are Better With a Spreader Bar.
The Shrimp, AKA or Forced Bow, bondage position is similar to the Hogtie in that it is harder to maintain than it looks. Designed as a torture position, it requires the bound partner to bend over, which restricts their breathing. For this reason, it’s vital to check in frequently with the restrained partner and to let them out before they are too uncomfortable or too short of breath. This position isn't designed to be held for a long time!
One of the useful things about this position is that you can secure someone when they’re sitting up and then tip them over for access to their ass and genitals. Because this position keeps the legs out of the way, it’s more intercourse-friendly than a Hogtie.
Bondage rope can help you achieve this position easier.
Want to test your balance and flexibility? Try holding a bent-over position during sex or kink play. You can do this in a wide stance, like in the downward-facing dog yoga position, or a narrow stance with your hands near your feet. If needed, using an ottoman or sex furniture (like the Liberator Flip-Ramp) can provide an elevated surface to provide a gripping point for better balance.
Either way, you might need your partner's help to keep you up. But since hands tightly gripping your hips are part of the fun in this position, getting an assist shouldn’t be a problem.
Using a spreader bar is a simple and effective way to bind someone for this pose.
Feeling flexible? The Leapfrog position is easy to get into and provides several options for access. Once someone’s wrists and ankles are bound together, you can turn them onto their back to change things up while you’re playing.
READ: So You Think You're Bendy: 5 Best Flexible Sex Positions.
For even more options, you can choose whether to have the bound partner's wrists inside or outside their ankles. Some people’s bodies will have an easier time with one or the other and, for liber bottoms who can do both, this will change how the position feels.
Try an adjustable spreader bar for an easy way to bind someone in this position.
If you like the shrimp tie position, consider it’s crustacean cousin, the crab tie.
To achieve this position, you’ll start by securing your partner’s wrists to their ankles. You’ll then want to attach their arms to their legs at several other points so their forearms are aligned with their shins. You can achieve this with a few double-column ties or by using a decorative tie, like a gauntlet.
Like in the shrimp tie position, from this position, you can shift someone from sitting up onto their back, depending on which body parts you want access to.
The Hogtie position is not for beginners. It can be can be potentially fatal. We highly recommend reading the sex position description -- and its safety info- - before diving in.
If you're a seasoned bondage practitioner and have taken ample precautions, though, this position can be great for sex with hands or sex toys. While it may look deceptively simple, it puts strain on several parts of the body at once. The challenging aspect of the hogtie makes it perfect for people who like to push themselves or who like to feel truly helpless.
Bondage rope works well for this position. You could also try a set of arm binders paired with ankle restraints or a beginner hogtie system.
Mummification is typically a full-bodied form of bondage, and it’s one where the restraint, rather than sexual access, is the point of the play. Perhaps the most extreme forms of bondage, it’s important to know how someone may react to restraint before trying this. Even experienced players can begin to panic when they’re encased from tip to toe -- so, discuss potential emotional triggers beforehand and establish safewords/signals before trying this.
READ: How to Be a Trauma-Informed Sex Partner.
It’s its extreme nature that makes Mummification appealing to some kinksters -- especially those who want to push their limits. You can use plastic wrap, bondage tape, vet wrap, rope, or even full body leather casings to customize your mummification experience.
If you do want to add sexual activity to your mummification play, you can leave holes or cut openings (using safety shears) over genitals or breasts. This form of bondage goes especially well with tease and denial or forced orgasm.
No matter what position you try, remember that sex and kink play is about the connection between the people involved. Don’t let the logistics overshadow the intimacy and make sure to communicate before, during, and after play to make sure everyone's needs are met.
This position takes one of the most comfortable bondage positions and makes it a real challenge.
For starters, you’re going to need a seriously sturdy chair. And you may still want to shore it up by having the back of the chair up against the foot of the bed or the back of the couch.
Next, secure the rope bunny into this position by tying their ankles to the chair legs and their thighs to the base of the chair.
As for their arms, you can choose how extreme you want this position to be. For the more advanced version, tie the bottom's hands behind their back so they’re leaning against the back of the chair for support. For a little more comfort, tie their wrists or arms to the back of the chair, or the back chair legs.
If the back of the chair has open slats, this is a great opportunity for some breast play, maybe using clothespins or nipple clamps. And if you’ve tied them far enough off the front of the chair (and you’ve been doing your squats) you can even try some penetrative sex.
For years, scientists have known what kinksters have known for decades (centuries?): BDSM can be good for your mental health.
Across a number of metrics, BDSM practitioners reported everything from lower stress and rejection sensitivity to being more willing to try new things and reporting better well-being.
READ: BDSM and Mental Health: When Kink Clears Your Head.
In my sex and relationship coaching practice, I’ve seen all these benefits and more. In particular, people who engage in BDSM are often better at clear and open communication with their partner(s), as well as having more tools for finding sexual fulfillment.
Even among couples who don’t consider themselves kinky, bondage can be a great way to build intimacy and connection. When you’re playing with bondage (particularly with rope) you focus on the other person’s body and experience in a way that many sexual encounters can lack. And it’s this focused attention that many people crave.
It's important to note that engaging in bondage in a way that’s safe and fun for everyone involved means checking in about needs and desires on a deeper level -- before, during and after play. These skills can carry over into other forms of sexual play -- and even to non-sexual components of the relationship.
Every intense activity requires aftercare -- and bondage definitely qualifies as intense.
Aftercare is a time to see to all of your and your partner’s immediate needs, both physical and emotional. Often that means wrapping up in a blanket, drinking some water, having a snack and snuggling. But everyone’s specific needs are unique, so it’s important to discuss aftercare in advance to make sure everyone is on the same page.
Often, aftercare includes talking about the play that just happened and reassuring each person that the play was enjoyable and that you’re feeling good about what happened and about the relationship. If possible, save critiques for a more complete debrief of the play for a later time when everyone is clear-headed.
READ: The Importance of Aftercare.
If you’re trying to find ways to get closer to a partner or to reignite a spark you used to have, bondage might be a great tool to try. However, this type of play is both physically and emotionally intense -- so be sure to take ample safety precautions beforehand, check in throughout the experience and always have a back-up plan in place to set the bound partner free if needed.
Looking for more kinky bondage sex positions to get tied up with? Try out some sex swing positions or group sex positions!
