Some things to keep in mind, though. First, people often like to remain semi-anonymous and so asking someone what they do for a living, exactly where they, live or even their real name is, in general, not going to endear you to anyone. People will often use their scene name or just their first name. Be content with whatever level of information someone feels comfortable sharing with you at this point. You should also think about what you want people to know about you before going along.
Because most munches are held in public venues, you should wear whatever you would normally feel comfortable wearing to a bar or restaurant. Some discreet fetish wear is usually fine but nothing that is going to frighten the locals or even draw an excessive amount of attention to the group. Most munches try to operate with a certain amount of discretion to afford some privacy to both the people who attend the munch and also to ensure that the venue is happy to have them.