When's the last time you truly took the time to go all-out on making out? For most relationships, as intercourse and orgasm-inducing activities find their way onto the table, our time spent in passionate make-out sessions decreases.
Myself included, honestly! It's probably been months since I made out with my partner just for making out's sake! When we turn towards each other, orgasms are on the table, so we tend to skip forward to the hands-on-genitals stages that get us closer to orgasm. Even writing it now, I miss those fervent, gotta-have-it-now moments that make outs can really lead to.
What if I told you (and reminded myself, too, clearly) that you could enhance your relationship and get more powerful orgasms by spending more time making out? It's true!
So, add some of the passionate sizzle back into your make-out session with some of these easy-to-implement ideas:
1. Take Orgasms Off the Table
The easiest way to up the ante on your make-out sessions? Ensure that there isn't an easy sexual alternative to turn towards. Our earliest make-out sessions with someone feel the hottest because it's as intimate as you'd gotten with that person.
Even now, think back to some of the hottest make-out sessions you've had outside of a brand new relationship. They probably happened when you weren't able to strip off your clothes or "relieve" that sexual tension in your usual ways. So, a make-out in the backseat of a car was all you had to work with - and that's part of what makes it so hot!
Easily replicate some of that heat from the privacy of your own home by agreeing that your make-out session will not end in any intentional attempts to orgasm. (Accidental orgasms by grinding can happen!)
If you're someone who finds sexual activity frustrating without an orgasm at the end, switch this out by adding a timer. Promise yourselves you'll enjoy making out for an hour - and only when that timer goes off, are you allowed to enjoy any under-the-undies touching.
Read: 31 Fascinating Facts About Orgasms
2. Add More Sensation with Toys
Making out doesn't have to mean foregoing some of your favorite sensations, though. If there are some must-have erogenous zones you need stimulated to enjoy yourself, seek out hands-free sex toys that can provide the same sensations. Not only do you get bonus, hands-free pleasure, but ensuring you choose a hands-free option ensures everyone still has all of their hands available to explore each other's bodies.
In order to make that happen, you might need to get a bit creative. Slide a flat vibrator like the Deia Arouser into the underwear for clitoral, perineal, or external anal pleasure. Slide a wand massager in between your snuggled-together bodies and enjoy as the sensation of the wand adds pleasure while grinding against one another. Strap a cock ring onto someone for added pleasure.
There are lots of ways to really up the intensity of your make-out session without taking away from the focus: the way your bodies fit together and the ability to explore each other's bodies with your hands.
3. Leave the Bed Behind
It's such a simple tip - but it's such a powerful one. The bed is now temporarily "off-limits". Instead, lean up against the kitchen counter. Try it against the shower wall while someone is naked. Use the living room floor. Find a safe and empty alley downtown to make out.
The point being: anything instantly feels hotter if you do it in a new place. So leave the bed behind and make out somewhere else. Even if you end up moving to the bed for comfort as your session goes on, starting your passionate embrace in another area helps add fuel to the erotic fire long before you make it to the bed.
Read: Beyond the Bed: How You Can Use Your House to Spice Up Your Sex Life
4. Touch More Often
Try touching (and kissing!) each other more often - without the expectation of sex. A few, five-second kisses can feel instantly passionate and ignite your sex drive on a daily basis - even if you're about to head off to work.
Sometimes, take that lingering touch and keep it going. Press your partner up against a wall or the kitchen table and enjoy a deeper kiss. Let your hands wander for a few minutes. If you both are feeling it, you can delve further into some sexual satisfaction - or you can break your embrace to leave you both feeling aroused and energized for your next tasks.
As you both get used to this routine, it can make those make-out sessions feel even more arousing because you never know if a quick kiss is about to turn into an arousing, all-encompassing make-out session.
5. Touch New Areas
Part of the appeal of a passionate make-out session is the exploration of one another's bodies. If you've been with your partner for awhile, you might feel like you've already mapped all of the surfaces (down to that birthmark on their butt cheek on the right-hand side), but you can still get in the spirit of an adventurer.
One of the easiest ways to do this is with a toy designed for sensual play like the Deia Feather. Adding a new toy gives you an instant excuse to "find the best places to use it" - which encourages you both to go exploring. As your lips melt together, try dragging the Deia Feather along your partner's back - or any other exposed flesh. See if it's a great fit in the crevice of their elbow. See what happens when it trails along the neck.
See if your sensual play toy can bring out erogenous zones you didn't even know about.
6. No Words Allowed
If you and your partner are master negotiators and familiar partners, you both might benefit from trying some nonverbal make-out sessions. Agree to keep words out of the equation - and let your bodies do all of the communicating for you. There are lots of ways to communicate without words: a press of the hips, a gentle tip of the chin, a vulnerable expression, an arch of the back. Explore with all of your communication tools - especially non-verbal options - to have you both viewing your make-out session in a different light.
(If you're going to play with this, I recommend having a "safe action". This is an obvious gesture, movement, or activity that signifies that you'd like to stop what you're doing. Squeezing a nearby squeaky toy, for example, could signify that you'd like things to stop. Especially after long periods of non-verbal communication, someone may find it difficult to speak up verbally if something is wrong.)
7. Make It a Game
Are you a couple that's driven by gamifying your goals? If so, you can make your own game for making out too! Sit down with slips of paper, and write down a make-out challenge on each one. Fold them up, put them in a container, and when things are starting to get a bit handsy, grab a slip from the jar.
Some suggestions for make-out challenges could include:
- No hands allowed for the first ten minutes.
- Shirts must stay on.
- You both must stay standing.
- We must use a sex toy.
- No neck kissing allowed.
- You must make the person reading this slip laugh - tickling is allowed.
Simply enjoy the fun of impromptu challenges - or make a "reward" for the both of you if you abide by the challenge until the very end.
Read: The Games People Play: How Sexy Games Shape Our Sexuality
8. Have Fun - and Keep the Pressure Low
Most importantly, if you want to revitalize your make-out sessions, the biggest thing you can do is to avoid making it a chore. Adding some of the passion back into your make-out sessions is going to be easiest if it's still something that feels amazingly passionate - and like a great way to connect with one another.
So don't let your pursuit of "new ways to make-out" become a chore that one (or both) of you considers a must-do.
It's always a hard balance to achieve. You want to ensure you're putting in enough time to make it happen - but not focus on it so heavily that it begins to feel like another task on the to-do list.
So, enjoy yourself first of all - and add in some of these tips as inspiration strikes to keep your make-out sessions sizzling hot!
