It feels ironic to me that masturbation was shrouded in so much secrecy back then, especially now that I can openly celebrate it as being pivotal for unlocking some of the most deeply shrouded secrets of my own personal identity. It’s also shocking that in 2016, more than 20 years after self-pleasure was such a taboo topic for me and my schoolmates, female masturbation and pleasure are still saddled with some stigma.
It’s clear to me now that masturbation, and a willingness to discuss it without shame or disgust, is essential for maintaining mental and sexual health. It provides a platform not just for sexual exploration, but also for understanding and accepting who you are, who you’re attracted to, and the sorts of fantasies you may be wanting to share with another person.
There is, after all, no escaping our true selves. If we consider masturbation to be something of a physical, pleasurable form of meditation then it’s no surprise that our subconscious can sometimes present us with an assortment of ideas that we weren’t even aware of. This is crucial at all stages of our lives, but it is especially important in our formative years in terms of helping us to navigate our sexualities and to ease us into feeling comfortable with whatever form they take.
As a result, masturbation can be shocking, informative, exciting and sometimes even disturbing, providing us with that plateau of serenity where arousal meets the mind without the interruption of a secondary party. Just how many of us have fantasized about a man or a woman during masturbation and realized that we may, in fact, be gay? At the very least, our fantasies often show us that gender identity and sexuality are far more complicated than a straightforward label could ever ascribe to us.
