Frotting is the practice of rubbing genitals against another person’s body for sexual pleasure. It usually refers to rubbing the penis, and sometimes the testicles, against someone else. The term frotting comes from the French word frotter, meaning “to rub.” It is also a slang version of the term frottage, which encompasses all non-penetrative sex or outercourse. It is often simply called "frot."
The term is most commonly used in the LGBTQIA+ community to describe rubbing penises together consensually. It is believed the term was coined by gay male activist Bill Weintraub in the late 1990s. He suggested frotting instead of anal sex, which he believed was a deviant activity. Along with other activists, he believed practicing anal sex would decline in the gay community with the growing threat of HIV and AIDS. He also believed frotting was the "true" gay sex, as it involved genital-to-genital contact. Frotting can be enjoyable for trans folks who feel body dysphoria from penetration and/or are experiencing changes in genital sensations as well. Frotting can rise to the level of a kink for some.
Why People Are Into Frotting
People practice frotting for a variety of reasons. Like the original gay activists, people may practice frotting to feel close to someone without penetrative sex. They may not like how penetrative sex feels or worry about the risk of STIs. People who dislike or prefer not to practice anal sex may also prefer the genital stimulation of frotting.
Some people feel frotting is more intimate and affectionate than anal sex, so it is a better form of lovemaking for them. They may also prefer the mutual sensations and the feeling of equality that comes with frotting. This feeling of equality differs from the power dynamic experienced during penetrative sex when one partner tops and the other bottoms. Some couples may also prefer frotting if they are abstaining from penetrative sex to retain their technical virginity or they experience pain or other difficulties having penetrative sex.
While frotters such as Weintraub shunned penetrative sex completely, not all people who practice frotting do. Today, frotting may be the main sexual event or part of foreplay along with other sexual acts, such as analingus and penetrative sex. Some people may reserve penetrative sex for very special relationships, but enjoy frotting in casual relationships. Couples in a sexual rut may also like to try frotting to spice things up.
Frotting and Other Slang Terms
Some people use the term frotting to describe people of any gender rubbing their genitals together. Others reserve the term frotting for rubbing penises together and use the term tribbing for rubbing vulvas together. There are several slang terms for frotting with penises, including sword-fighting, the Ivy League rub, the Princeton rub and doing it Oxford style. Dry humping and grinding are more gender-neutral alternatives to the term frotting. The term frictation may refer to frottage as a whole, but can also refer to penis-to-penis sexual contact. A fetish for frotting is frotteurism.
More About Frotting
Consensual frotting feels good for both participants because it creates friction against the genitals, especially the sensitive frenulum. The warmth emanating from the other person’s genitals and the stimulation that comes from having it touching along the whole shaft can make frotting more arousing than a hand job.
How to Frot and Frotting Positions
Couples can start frotting by facing one another when they are seated, standing, or lying down together. Alternatively, a couple may lie down in opposite directions, so their genitals meet in the middle. They move closer together to align their genitals and begin rubbing these body parts together. Many sexual positions can work for frotting - couples should experiment to find what feels best for them.
Depending on their preferred position, couples with penises may move together so the undersides of their penises run parallel to one another or face different directions. One person usually masturbates the penises together.
Someone with a penis practicing frotting with a partner with a vulva could rub or tap their penis against the vulva. While genital-to-genital rubbing is most pleasurable for both people, people can also practice frotting by rubbing their genitals against any part of their partner’s body.
For a twist on frotting, someone could place a finger between the genitals. This finger becomes lubricated and adds extra sensations to every stroke. People can also try frotting with lubricant or without, or with the addition of sex toys for variety. Sex toys including butt plugs, vibrators and nipple clamps can also provide extra stimulation during frotting.
Couples can try frotting naked or wearing clothes. Soft undergarments made from silk or satin can glide smoothly against the genitals and feel more arousing than lacy underwear, which creates too much friction. Frotting in denim jeans can also feel good, as it warms up with motion and creates just enough friction for pleasurable sensations. Lubricant can enhance naked frotting by helping two bodies slide against one another and reducing the risk of irritation or chafing. Silicone lube is a good choice because it’s very slippery. Water-based lube, which can be easily washed out of clothes, is a better option for people who want to wear a bra or top.
While frotting is usually a shared sexual experience, it can also be an element of solo play. Someone might practice frotting against a pillow, a piece of furniture, or a stuffed toy, for example. Aside from being pleasurable, solo frotting can also help people experiment with the positions and angles they like best. They might then try these techniques when frotting with a partner.
Frotting and Sexual Safety
Frotting is a relatively safe sexual activity, as it does not involve penetration and fluid transfer. However, it is still possible to pass on an STI through frotting, especially one transmitted via skin-to-skin contact.
"While some STIs, including HIV, gonorrhea, chlamydia and trichomoniasis, have a lower risk of transmission during frotting due to the absence of direct bodily fluid exchange, it's important to note that transmission can still occur if there are open sores, cuts, or contact with infected fluids," explained Rhiannon John, a certified sexologist for BedBible.com. "Direct contact between genital fluids, like vulvas rubbing against each other or two penises ejaculating while touching, carries a potential risk of transmitting STIs present in the fluids. Using barriers such as condoms or dental dams is strongly recommended to reduce this risk."
People should monitor their symptoms and get tested for STIs regularly to make sure they are safe.
Frotting in Porn
Pornography featuring frotting, known as frot porn, can arouse people with an interest in frotting. Frot porn can feature couples or group sex where frotting is the main sexual activity. Frot porn may focus exclusively on frotting or feature other sexual acts like blow jobs, hand jobs, analingus, and vaginal or anal sex. There are several subgenres of frot porn, including:
- Twink frotting porn: Featuring slender, clean-shaven men who appear to be in their late teens or early 20s frotting.
- Femboy frotting porn: Featuring youthful biological males who present in a feminine way frotting. The actors in femboy frotting porn may wear makeup and skirts or dresses, for example.
- MMF frotting porn: Featuring group sex with two men frotting and one female. She may give a handjob to the men frotting and perform other sex acts, such as blow jobs.
The term frotting can also describe non-consensually rubbing the penis against an unsuspecting person’s body or an inanimate object. The person performing this act usually rubs themselves against a stranger’s body. They may also practice frotting against someone they know. Non-consensual frotting usually occurs in a crowded public place, such as on public transport or at a music festival, where many people gather. As with other non-sensual sex acts, non-consensual frotting is a form of sexual assault
