"Penis size doesn't matter as much as you think it does."
You'll read that over and over in most articles at Kinkly - and they're right! There's a lot more to sexual compatibility (and pleasure!) than simply the girth or length of the penis. Most people seeking long-term relationships don't select someone to marry based on penis size. I know, it's true! (Would make a really weird reality show though!)
Despite all of this, the notion that "bigger is better" still reigns as a frequent discussion point. The thought that a large penis is desired by every receiver is prevalent, but the truth is, there can be downsides to a massive dick.
As someone who's had sex with large penises - and someone who has friends with those "coveted" shafts, however, this isn't the truth for many. I, personally, have had to turn down any possibilities of intercourse when a partner revealed a larger-than-average size, and my friends constantly recount the trials of sex with a larger penis. Some of those being:
Adequate lubrication and foreplay are key to making vaginal or anal penetration enjoyable, but that may not be enough for your partner. In addition to penetration challenges, some people find the sensation of a penis pushing against their cervix really uncomfortable or even painful.
If you're working with a larger-than-average shaft (or your partner is!), though, you can "reduce" some of the pain points associated with intercourse with your choice of sex positions. Just like sex positions can help a penis feel larger, your choice of sex position can also help a penis feel smaller.
It's all about penetration depth and how close your bodies are able to get to one another!
Think of the Coital Alignment Technique position as a modified version of Missionary position - and as a bonus, it's designed for hands-free pleasure for a clitoral-owning receiving partner!
Line up like Missionary position - but instead of angling for the penis to slip inside with a horizontal movement, the idea is to make the penis point straight down towards the floor underneath the receiving partner. Once you achieve that, each movement will cause the length of the shaft to slide along the vulva and clitoris for sensation during each thrust.
Since the majority of the shaft length is left outside of the body, this can be a great shallow penetration sex position while it simultaneously adds more pleasure!
Spice It Up: As clitoral stimulation is the name of the game here, a vibrating cock ring, like the Fun Factory NOS or We-Vibe Pivot, might be a good fit for this sex position. Just make sure that the shape/size of the ring works well for both of you; the unique angles the Coital Alignment Technique provides make for a lot of friction and pressure on the receiving partner, and you want to make sure your vibrating cock ring is adding to that!
Help ensure the penis never goes too deep by minimizing the penetrating partner's movements. The Kneeling Fox makes it simple - and makes it pretty darn comfy too! With both partners kneeling and the receiver controlling the depth and speed, Kneeling Fox can be a good fit for big penis sex.
There's nothing saying that long thrusts must the focus of Kneeling Fox either. The receiver may consider grinding or flicking their hips to facilitate movement without needing to slide down fully into their partner's lap.
Plus, it leaves the penetrating partner's hands entirely open - which can be great for reaching around to pleasure the receiver!
Spice It Up: If you both are up for a new type of adventure, the Kneeling Fox can be a good position to experiment with ballsex. Made possible by the Balldo, this unique sex toy adds dildo-like qualities to the testicles - and makes it possible to connect with a lover in a new way!
Read: Ballsex: Having a Ball with Your Balls!
Using the same logic as the Kneeling Fox, the Galley Position puts all of the depth in the receiving partner's court - and reduces how much movement the penetrating partner can do. By setting the receiving partner at an off-set angle (compared to Cowgirl), this can reduce penetration depth - but still provide all of the sexy visuals that the Reverse Cowgirl position is known for!
Plus, the angle of the Galley Position puts the receiver's penis/clitoris right above the penetrating partner's thigh. If the angles work for you, the receiving partner can grind against the thigh for even more added sensation.
Spice It Up: Want to get a bit kinky? The Galley Position lends itself really well to spanking and impact play. For impromptu fun, use your hands for a bit of spanking - or bring in a few paddles or floggers to make everything seem more "official".
Read: The Ultimate Guide to Spanking and Impact Play
Let's get real creative here with the TV Dinner sex position. This intimate, face-to-face sex position removes a lot of the close, hip-on-hip contact because the penetrating partner must straddle a chair. This can help reduce penetration depth - and can even make the sex position inaccessible for those of shorter penis lengths.
As the ability for strong, deep thrusting is removed while straddling a chair, the TV Dinner sex position also encourages smaller micromovements which can help reduce any accidental penetration depth pain.
Spice it Up: Sitting on top of a flat surface means sit-on vibrators can easily come into the picture with the TV Dinner position. Slip the vibrator underneath either partner to easily add additional stimulation - and make everything feel better! Consider the Wild Flower Enby 2, Orion VibePad 2, or Rocks Off Ruby Glow.
Get some delicious skin-on-skin sensations without the usual deep penetration. By intermingling your thighs in the Spider Position, you reduce how close your hips can get - and simultaneously reduce how deep the penis can go straight out the gate. By further inching your hips closer together (or further apart!), controlling depth and reducing accidental "too deep" pain points can be possible.
Plus, Spider Position offers a lot of fun benefits! Not only do you both get to feel the warmth of one another's skin, but this creative sex position offers a lot of face-to-face action. Watch your partner's lips relax in pleasure as you sink into this sex position.
Spice It Up: If the penetrating partner would like more sensation, consider adding a penis vibrator like the Fun Factory Manta around the base. Not only will this instantly add vibrating pleasure for the penis-owner, but the deep vibrations can make the entire penis shake - so the receiver gets some added sensation too! As a bonus, the Manta can take up space along the shaft and reduce the likelihood of accidentally thrusting too deep.
While Cowgirl wouldn't normally make this list since it places the receiver's full bodyweight on top of the penis, the Swinging Cowgirl variant happens to make the list. This is because of the addition of a sex swing. If regular Cowgirl is too uncomfortable for the two of you, simply shorten the straps on the sex swing to hold the receiving partner's body further away from the penetrating partner's hips. This way, the receiving partner can still relax into the position - but the sex swing does all of the hard work of holding up their body weight if sitting all the way down on the shaft would be uncomfortable!
Spice It Up: Add in any sex toy that could easily pleasure the receiving partner. As the penetrating partner will have their hands free with easy sight and access to between the receiver's thighs, hand sex - or a favorite sex toy - is very easy to add here. Consider the Magic Wand Mini, Tenga Spinner, or an electrosex toy.
Read: 5 Sex Swing Positions That Will Have You Flying High!
Not only does the Twin Standing Pleasure Position provide shallower penetration, but it also provides additional, hands-free penile/clitoral stimulation to make sex even more pleasurable for the receiver. It's a win-win! The use of a sex toy mount - like the Liberator Axis or Liberator Top Dog - can help hold a wand massager or penis stroker in place for bonus sensations without lifting a finger.
At the same time, needing to "thrust through" the squishy flesh of the butt and thighs can help reduce the penetration depth - and simply stepping a bit further apart can further adjust the depth at a moment's notice.
Spice It Up: With full, easy access to the receiver's chest, the Twin Standing Pleasure Position can be a really great fit for nipple clamps. Consider easily clamping the Sportsheets Chained Nipple Clamps, Sportsheets Nipple Suckers, and the Mystim Barry Bite Clamps onto the nipples to add instant sensation.
Read: How to Use Nipple Clamps
I know, I know; it's an easy one - but it's worth mentioning because it's so standard!
Since Missionary places both of your bodies flat with minimal angles, it can lead to shallower sex. To instantly adjust depth, have the receiving partner place their legs straight and firmly together. Opening the legs and tilting the hips can make for deeper penetration, while doing the opposite results in the desired shallower penetration.
Spice It Up: Missionary is a gold standard for many couples because it's simple to do and offers great face-to-face closeness. Lean into those benefits with lots of making out, prolonged eye contact, and hot dirty talk.
I know you just spent the last twenty minutes reading about what specific shallow penetration sex positions are out there, but if you have an alternative favorite you want to explore, I want to pass on a piece of advice:
Get a penis limiter like the OhNut. These soft, squishy rings wrap snugly anywhere on the shaft as physical "stopping points" during intercourse. Much more comfortable than cock rings, can be, they essentially stop the penis from entering any deeper than where the OhNut is placed.
This allows you both to relax; the penis-owner can stop worrying about accidentally going too deep (the rings will stop them!) while the receiving partner can stop worrying about any accidental, sharp pain from that happening. It's a surprisingly simple solution, but when it comes to making sure both people are enjoying themselves, it's also a very helpful one!
With that, go forth and fuck - and use these shallow penetration sex positions to your advantage while you do!
